 The Shaffer Journal
Volume 9 † Issue 2 † February 2003
[Internet Stuff] [Hockey Puck] [Guest Meows! Cat Chat 1 2 3 4]
[The Mountains of Ao] [Poetry Corner] [The Dull Stuff] [Guest Articles] [In The Keys]
Kitty Talk
These journals are dedicated to Kitty GreyCat's spirit. She is at RainBow Bridge now along with her human friend, Leo. We all loved you, Kitty! Click the cat graphic to visit her Memorial page. Kitty born June 6, 1982. Died July 9, 1997. Please fill out our email form below to tell us how we are doing or make suggestions. >^..^<  Ebony: Meow, all use out there. Our magazine journal thing is full of catnip and yummy nummies once again. Why, if it was not for me, the planet would not go around the sun. >^..^<
Abby: I make human bean crazy. That better than making planet stuff. I just meow and meow and meow, even after human bean asking constantly what I want. I just meow more. I am having great cat fun seeing human bean give me yummies, petting me, putting out more cat food, freshening the water, brushing me, and still I meow over and over. I just love it! >^..^<
Ebony: I don't love when human bean gone so many times and for so long this past month. He tell me that he was double shifting at the bridge, but what do I care. I want human bean home to put me out and feed me, I do. >^..^<
Abby: Yes, I got something more I love too. Human bean been buying me soft, chicken nuggets in sauce so good. I eat them right up making sure there are none left for Ebony, what don't want nothing but dry cat food. >^..^<
Ebony: I loved it lots when human bean's brother here. He go out and smoke and come back in and go out and smoke some more. That give me plenty of opportunities to escape and have chases up and down the park. >^..^<
Abby: I loved human bean's brother best, because he loved on me and not on you. I even escaped and went into the mangroves. Tony bean chasing me all over. What fun! The most fun was when John bean show up to help "herd" me back into capture. I meow that so funny. I never heard of a thing like herding cats around. >^..^<
Ebony: I think Tony bean like me more, if I not swat at him and try to scratch him. I tried to bite him too. Peoples just got to know that I just like to surprise the peoples I love most. What cat wouldn't do that for peoples? >^..^<
Abby: We have other misadventures to meow about too. I like to chirp at birds and lizards, while Eb just wants to chase, hunt, and eat them. I might paw at them once they caught, but I prefer chicken nuggets. I not like being on the long lead outside too much, but Eb likes to spend all day and all night outside if she could. Some human bean hooked my lead up to Ebony's lead making it doubly long. Another human bean then wrapped the lead around the awning pole. When our bean come outside to check on Ebony like he does every fifteen minutes, he found Ebony standing on her paws trying not to choke on her shortened lead. Tony bean and our human bean talked to the other human bean and told him what for. That other human bean not know about cats, I meow. Then later another human bean altogether unhooked one of the leads from the post. When Ebony was hooked up, she did not know she was really loose. I just cat laugh because Ebony could have escaped but did not do it. But what I want to know most of all is why some human beans be so mean and nasty to try to hurt us cats intentionally or unintentionally? Me and Ebony never did anything to them other human beans. Why, we mostly like to purr and love. >^..^<
Ebony: Use meowed a lot there, Ab. You must be all meowed out, I think. It been so cold and windy for so long down here in the Keys. I never meowed such a thing happening. I don't mind the cold or wind though. I got a nice and thick black fur coat that makes me pretty and warm. Now Abby, she not like windy cold and want in. >^..^<
Abby: Yes, I do. I like the big heater and get as near as I can to that big beastie what warm and cozy. While Ebony outside getting her fur ruffled up and chasing leafs and imaginary stuff, I just catnap with warm heater beastie. I heard about Ebony catching a big green lizard out in the open, when it was cold windy. Ebony chased it to the end of her lead, and that big green lizard thing got away. I seen that green thing swim too. Meow. >^..^<
Ebony: I got another thing to meow complain about besides missing that big fat green juicy lizard. When it been so windy cold, human bean been rinsing off the trailer lots and lots. And all that cold water spray might get me wet. Wet is yucky for cats. I go burrow into a hidey place in the near mangroves, while Abby panics and cries to be let inside. Abby is just a silly scaredy cat sometimes, while I am a big huntress brave black cat, I am. >^..^<
Abby: Use an evil storyteller, Ebony. I not like when you hide anywhere. I can't jump at you. And you do some silly stuff too. I got to watch for you all the time, I do, to keep you in line. Why, once you saw human bean bend over to pick something up. You were on the top of the back of the chair by the desk. You just walked right on top of human bean's back like you just conquered Mount Everest or something. I think you a big showoff cat. Well, all use human beans and cats out there, me and Ebony are done meowing at you. Enjoy the rest below. >^..^<
Internet Stuff
The DVD films from http://www.netflix.com are packed with extras and full of good entertainment. Big Momma's House was a very funny movie. The Secret Garden was a great version of the children's classic. What I liked best about this remake was that the adults were portrayed as adults, and the children were portrayed as children. That made the film more real and entertaining in my opinion. The SciFi flick Specimen was simply awful. I couldn't even get half way through the movie. Now Epoch was a really good SciFi film. About a Boy turned out to be an excellent movie with good acting and a fine story. Windtalkers was a super war movie with heart. The film was an instant classic. We Were Soldier, a Viet Nam flick, was also another instant war classic, one of the best so far. Several websites were useful this month. When you have to send money anywhere quickly and safely, use http://www.westernunion.com. When my brother wanted to send some tasty fish home to his wife, we checked out http://www.keysfisheries.com. The only problem was the $45 shipping costs. Interesting stuff at various other websites: http://www.gay.com, http://www.medicaltoys.com, http://www.match.com, http://www.adultfriendfinder.com, http://www.alt.com, and http://www.outpersonals.com. Our contractors have provided outstanding services for us, like http://www.slapalmedesigns.com, http://www.equifax.com, http://www.xfireweb.com. Image Block now protects our copyrighted material on our site. In The Keys
You just hate to turn on the news anymore, what with 9-11 and so forth. Today, 2.1.03, I turned on Headline News and saw that the shuttle Columbia had broken up over Texas. My prayers are with the family and friends of our brave astronauts lost in this disaster. I know that they would want the space program to continue after the investigation. All our hopes and dreams are beyond our planet deep into the blackness and vastness of space. Piercings generate a lot of opinions. I did a lot of research and talked to a lot of folks. I'm not into pain, but the advantages, otherwise, seemed desirable. So I opted for a Prince Albert [PA]. Locally, Blind Hairy's offers professional services and super sterile conditions. Jeff, the piercing expert, did the piercing and was extremely friendly, knowledgeable, and professional. The piercing was just a short, wicked pinch. The jewelry is a stainless surgical steel 10 gauge circular barbell with two 6 gauge beads or balls and is 1" in diameter. There are all types and sizes of jewelry available at Blind Hairy's and on the Internet, if you are very careful where you shop. After the healing process is completed, I will stretch up to a 6 gauge circular barbell and maybe later to a 2 gauge. Beyond that is way too far in the future. I will probably go for a Prince's Wand [PW] of two different lengths and styles that appeal to me. A good website for piercings in general is at http://www.bmefreeq.com. While many would be aghast at any kind of piercings, each to their own I say. What is appealing to one might be outrageous to another. I was really surprised that I even had one, as I used to be opposed to any kind of piercings. Yet, after gathering all the facts, I went ahead with my piercing selection. My, how things do change. Emerson Willis, our very own Plumeria man, gave a presentation at Marathon Garden Club January 17th. He donated some plants as well. If you walk around our park, you can see his handiwork. He gave me a plant that continues to leaf and bloom beyond all expectation. I am not very plant friendly, but with Emerson and Nancy's help I have a wonderful plant to enjoy year around. Recently, he came over to apply stuff to get rid of the ants and to fertilize. I find the appeal of the park is due to people like this, real neighbors and friends. Miscellany: My brother came for a visit. He really enjoyed himself and made friends easily. I picked him up at the airport, and we caught up on time apart while driving back down to the Keys. While my brother was here, we visited a number of interesting places. Close by, we had lunch at the Overseas Lounge. We dined at McDonald's on several occasions. We visited World Wide Sportsman's Paradise and afterwards had lunch at the Outback Billabong. Panda House did not disappoint us either. We had fun visiting the Lion's Den. I think our favorite place to eat with Keys Fisheries Market and Marina. We had fun at Sombrero Beach too. Lunch at Dockside was interesting along with walking along looking at boats that we would like to own. We had a great breakfast at the Stuffed Pig. I don't usually do mornings, but for Tony I got up early. We ate at Thank God It's Friday in Key West. We had fancy and expensive drinks at a ritzy airport bar, before Tony went back home to cold and snow. Lastly, Lawler Gallery in Islamorada features Dan Lawler's art collection. Their number is 305-453-5069. Guest Meows!
 This is Larry for Ariel. She and her three cats, Atom, Dinky, and Emily, gave us some wonderful Cat Chat articles this month. [Harry is at Rainbow Bridge now.] We are gratified that we can offer this regular article about some wonderful cats and their human beans with visits by a dragon! Please visit the Memorial Page for Ariel's mother. Click the cat wagging its tail graphic to visit their net home. Thank you. Now here is Chester the dragon, Atom, Dinky, and Emily with Cat Chat: Cat Chat 01-08-03
The Diet
Emily: Well, dis be a fine howdey-doodey! First I gets hauleded offen to da nasty Vet bean and gets needles stucked in me and all sortsa indigaties, and now dis! Do Mom hates me or something??
Chester: You know that Mom doesn’t hate you! And I know you know Mom took you to the Vet because you haven’t been feeling well lately…
Emily: I hadn’t been feeling dat bad! Jus a little tummy ache now an den.
Dinky: Dat sure isn’t what Mom2 habs been sayin an sayin fur weeks an days now. She’s been talkin at Mom to take yous to da Vet bean fur long an long. Me doesn’t nose why Mom didn’t go an take yous right away.
Atom: Prolly she didn’t want to habs to drag Em’s fat butt down da stairs in da cat carrier! Heehee!
Emily: I’s had bout alla da insultingness I’s can stand today, tank yous furry much, rotten wort! Humph! Mom didn’t take me befur cause I’m not really sick. I’d jus feel a little icky fur a little while but den da next day I’d be fine again an so she figgered why take me? An I agreed to dat, fur sure! But yous is right, Dink, it’s Mom2’s fault dat I got tooked to da Vet bean. She jus talkeded and talkeded to Mom bout how I were all so sick ober an ober til Mom musta jus gived up an tooked me. Mom2 can be awful perstant, she can! I gots to tink of a way to get back at her fur dis…
Chester: Well, you really haven’t been feeling well an awful lot lately. There were a lot of nights you looked kind of peaked. You’d be ok a few hours later, but it kept happening, so you really needed to go to the Vet to see what was wrong.
Emily: Humph! I wasn’t even near dat sick atall! And den to come home and hab dis happen! Dis is cruel and unnoosual punishment! Dis is worset dan getting a shot or having pills shoveded down my throat! Well, maybe not worset…no, it is! Shots and pills is nasty but dis, messing wid our food! It’s too much! Mom can’t seriously eggspect us to eat dis stuffers! And it’s been hours and hours since I got any Yums, bof of da Moms is sayin “no more” and even when I got dem dar was only like tree or four. It’s…it’s…
Dinky: Inhooman is what it is, an jus plain mean too. Dar isn’t anytin wrong wid me an me habs to not eat dis stuffers too! Yuck! It doesn’t eben smell like cat food, it don’t smell like hardly nuttin atall!
Atom: Yous gots dat right, an me’s in da same mess wid da Moms sayin “no more Yums.” Me goes true me whole beautiful bit an gets nuttin! Like me had anyting to do wid any ub dis, which me did not! It’s all Em’s fault fur bein such a pig!
Emily: Watch it, wort, I’m already ticked off. Yous might just loose an eyeball over dat comment! Sheesh, and Claws and Tails, and poop besides! Dis really stinks. And as if we weren’t getting little enuff of our Whiskas, now today we’s only gots one little bag tween all three of us way early this morning, and no more in sight! What da heck is Mom thinking? Bof da Moms, fur dat matter!
Chester: They are thinking that you are way too fat and have to lose weight before you get really sick. You were lucky, Em, you could already have diabetes or thyroid problems or something else bad. All the Vet found was too much fat in your blood…this time. So, the only way to keep you from getting some disease from being so overweight is to go on this diet. Really, this cat food isn’t that bad. A bit of an acquired taste, I think…
Emily: Acquired my tail, cat litter would taste better! And besides dat I’m getting mighty sick of everyone saying I’m fat. I’m not fat!
Atom: Sheesh! Ub course yous is! Yous waddle round looking like yous swallowed a balloon!
Emily: Hissspppiiitttt! Ifn I weren’t so zausted from starving to deafers yous wouldn’t hab any eyeballs atall!
Chester: Emily, admit it, you’re way overweight. We’re all a bit pudgy. It’s not completely your fault. You overeat, but the Mom’s have been overfeeding all of you cats. Atom’s starting to haul around quite a belly himself…
Atom: Hey!
Chester: Well, it’s true. We all need to lose some weight and get healthy. But for you, Em, it’s literally a matter of life and death: if you don’t lose weight fast you’re going to get sick and die. The Vet said so. Losing weight will make you feel so much better. It will be good for us all.
Dinky: Oh! Oh! Me doesn’t want da Emily to get sickness an die! She be mean sometimes but me lubs her anyways an it would be turrble ifn she got all sickness! Me’ll eat dis food ifn it means dat da Emily will get healthy-like an not go to Rainbow Bridge. Me jus couldn’t stand it ifn dat was to happen!
Atom: Me agrees, me doesn’t want da Queen do get all sickly or worset!
Emily: Yeah, but, well…oh, my (sniff). I didn’t…dat’s so sweet ub yous worts! (sniff, sniff).
Chester: We all love you, Emily. And you know the Moms love you bunches and bunches. They’re not being mean. They just want you to get to feeling better and stay healthy and live a long long life.
Emily: Yous all is making me cry, and I still wants to be mad! Of course I don’t want to go to Rainbow Bridge anytime soon, even doe I could be wid Harry den. I want to stay here with my Mom2 and da oder Mom and not be sick. But dis is a turrble nasty way to hab to get healthy and not get sick! I don’t nose ifn I’ll survive on dis diet!
Atom: Yeah, an what bout me? Me’s not da one who’s most sick so me oughta get regular food fur sure!
Chester: I do believe I said something about your belly a minute ago. You’ll be fine—we all will. Better than fine. Trust me.
Emily: I don’t tink so! I’m bout to faint from starviation!
Chester: So eat some of the food!
Emily: Yuck!! I’d rader die!
Cat Chat 01-17-03
Freezin To Deafers
Chester: Good Lord, it’s freezing in here! I’m wearing both of my sweaters and two pairs of sweat pants and I’m still freezing! What is the thermostat set to? (peers at it) It’s at 70, do you think I dare set it any higher?
Emily: I wouldn’t do dat ifn I was yous. Mom’s been plainin bout da lectric bill already. We’s all cold. Well, cept fur Mom2, her office stays lots an lots warmer dan da rest of da house, dat’s why she keeps da door shut, so as it will stay dat way. Mom calls it “da African Belt” in dar. Heehee! She stays lots warmer dan Mom2 mosta da time. Mom2 will be all wrapped up in sweats and a scarf and Mom will just have on her flannel lounge pants and a long sleeved t-shirt. Sometimes she puts on a sweater, but she alays takes it back off, den puts it back on and den back off again.
Chester: I don’t think Mom having hot flashes is any excuse to make the rest of us freeze.
Mom (from the bedroom): If you want the heat up, get a job and help pay for it!
Atom: It’s not dat bad ifn yous runs round and stuffers. It’s only real cold when yous layin still. An eben den it’s not bad ifn yous someplace warm, like Mom’s bed.
Dinky: Yeah, eben me isn’t cold when me’s runnin round, an me don’t hab near so much fur as Em an da Addom. Cept out on da deck. It’s bin bitter nasty cold out dar! It’s like dar be windows tooked off only alla da windows is up. Me doesn’t unnerstand dat atall!
Chester: It’s the wind. The deck isn’t the least bit air tight, and there’s no insulation, just one pane of glass between you and the outside. That bitter cold wind comes through every crack and seems to cut right through the windows!
Atom: Meow, it sure do! Me doesn’t eben want to stick my nose out dar it’s so cold. An da Moms is keepin da door out to da deck closed near alla time cause da cold jus comes right on into da house widout a howdey-doodey! It’s not nice ub da cold to do dat, me meow. How come dar be so much cold here lately?
Chester: It’s just been a cold winter. The weather people all say it’s cold everywhere. But it sure has been extra bitter and windy the last few days. Mom’s even let water run all night so the pipes won’t freeze. I’ve never seen her doing that, that I can recall.
Emily: She used to do dat alla time down at our old house. It wasn’t as warm as dis place, but mostly she runneded water when it got cold cold cause dar were a place just under da trailer where da water comed outta da ground and dat little bitty piece of metal pipe alays frozed. Ifn Mom didn’t run da water on cold nights she’d have to crawl under da trailer da next morning wid dis metal jar wid fire on da end and heat up dat pipe til da water started moofing again. It were a real pain in da butt, Mom alays said. I member Harry telling me dat da unhusband used to do da crawling and heating but he’d cuss and get all mad and nasty so as Mom just decided it was a whole lot less of a pain in da butt to do it herselfs! I doesn’t member da unhusband much but I nose enuff to nose he were a worthless crouton!
Chester: Crouton? Like on a salad?? That doesn’t make…oh, wait, I bet you mean cretin! That’s one of Mom’s favorite words for people who are complete jerks, and from what I hear the unhusband was just that.
Emily: Oh, he were dat an more! Now, I didn’t nose him furry well, cause da little time I lived with da Mom befur she trowed his lazy butt out he were mostly all hunged over from drinking dat nasty smelling stuffers in da cans, only when I was around he was doing da drinking part all in secret off somewhere and wouldn’t come home til he was done wid da drinking and all grouchy and smelly. Harry nosed him lots better and never did have much use fur him atall. In fact, I member Harry saying, now dat I tinks about it, dat da unhusband would make dat house freezing to deafers in da Summertime too!
Atom: How in da world could he do dat? It’s hot hot in da Summer!
Emily: Harry says he’d turn on da air cornditioner alla way up so as it were like Winter in dar, specially in da living room. And Mom had to walk round with sweaters on and it would be 200 degrees outside!
Dinky: Didn’t she plain to him bout doin dat?
Emily: Oh, alla time, Harry said. And she’d go and turn it down and he’d go back and turn it up.
Atom: Why didn’t she jus tell him to stop doin dat? She don’t habs no trouble telling us not to do stuffers!
Emily: She did but it didn’t do a bit of good. Dat bean were untrainable even to bean standards. He never listened to nuttin dat no one said atall ever.
Dinky: Da more me hear bout dat unhusband bean da more me’s glad me neber had to lib wid him!
Chester: I agree. Everything I’ve heard about him makes it clear he was completely worthless. But all of this reminiscing about how cold it was in the other trailer it’s doing a thing to make it warmer in here! I don’t care about how cold it used to be, all I care about is that I’m freezing to death right now!
Dinky: Maybe yous oughta grow some fur. Dat would make yous warmer a whole lot, me bet.
Chester: Oh, yeah, right, as if! You’re a big help! Sheesh!
Dinky: What? Why’s yous mad all sudden?
Emily: Silly wort! Dragons can’t grow fur. Doesn’t yous tink dat we’d have seed fur on him by now ifn he could grow it? Who’d want to go round all scaly and stuffers ifn day could have bootiful fur like us?
Chester: The backhanded insults are not helping! Humph!
Mom comes into the kitchen: Chester, quit whining and go get under the electric blanket. I need to use the computer anyway.
Chester: Oh, thank God! OK, column’s over. See ya!
Atom: But wait we…
Chester: Bye!
Cat Chat 01-25-03
The Diet Part 2
Emily: Heeheehahaha!
Dinky: Em, what is yous doin pwayin wid my mousies?? Day’s mine, not yourn! Gib dem back!
Emily: Ifn yous want dem, come get dem, wort, Heehee!
(Emily and Dinky exchange swats for a moment, then Dinky bounds down the hall)
Dinky: Eeeeeekkkkk! Heeheehee!
Chester: You two better watch out, the Moms will see you doing that.
Emily: I don’t care bout dat atall anymores. Ifn day sees me an Dink playin or talking day do dar “awww” ting all fussin over me…
Dinky: They’s fussin ober me too!
Emily: Only cause yous in da vicinity. Anyways, I’m in too good a mood to just lay round. I want to play! Come here, wort!
Dinky: Me doesn’t nose bout dat. Me doesn’t mind pwayin wid yous a liddle but yous gets all rough an beats up on me, special when yous got dat devilmentish look in yous eyes like yous does now. Me tinks it’s safer to not get near dem claws right now!
Emily: Coward! (Emily snags a toy mouse with a claw, tosses it in the air and catches it) Grrrr! Heehee!
Chester: You sure seem to be feeling good lately. You’re hardly even grouchy most of the time here lately. What’s got into you?
Emily: I’m noring dat remark cause I’m in a great mood. And yeah, I have been feeling really good lately. My tummy most never hurts atall, and my fur feels all soft and smooth and I’m not as tired as I was for a long long time. And my legs don’t hurt as much either. My hips used to get awful sore ifn I ran around much atall, but here lately day doesn’t get as sore as fast. I feel like running round and playing lots of da time, steada just laying round. I don’t nose why alla dat is, but I like it!
Atom: I’d tink so! It feels a whole lot better to feel good dan to feel bad!
Chester: Well, duh! Of course it does. It looks like the diet is working.
Emily: Da diet?? What do yous mean? What does eating dat tasteless cat food an only getting a little bite of Whiskas twicet a day only habs to do wid me feeling good?
Chester: Did you completely not listen when we talked about how the diet would make you healthy and lose weight? Look at yourself! You’re already nowhere near as round as you were a couple of weeks ago.
Emily: I heared dat getting healthy part, all right, but I figured yous was just being half puffy full of yourself an half trying to make me feel better. But yous is right, I’m not sticking out on da sides so much as I was. (examines herself in the mirror). Yeah, I’s looking eggstra even more bootiful dan I was. Dat’s amazing, since I was already da mostest bootiful kitty cat in da world!
Chester: The most modest too! Heehee!
Dinky: Me nosed dat sometin was different, but me couldn’t put my claw on it til now. Da Em is more not as fat as she were! She’s still fat, but not so much, an look at her fur! It looks lots better dan it’s lookeded since me members ever!
Emily: Yes, da Moms have been bragging on how nice my fur looks. It’s not matting up like it was, and it’s getting silkier. It was so oily before. Could da diet really be da cause of all dat?
Chester: Absolutely! That’s what diets are for. Anyway, what else could it be? I told you when this started that you’d be fine with the diet—in fact, I know I said better than fine, and you are! I’m personally amazed at the transformation. Suddenly you’re playing with toys and with the boys more than ten times as much as you ever used to. And you’re getting to where you can do the beautiful rollover flip a whole lot faster. For a while there you could barely roll over at all! It looked like you had to really struggle to do it. But you're getting almost as agile as Atom.
Dinky: Yeah, yous two is flippin an floppin all ober da place here lately beggin fur Yum-yums! Heehee! It’s funny to watch yous doin alla dat gyrationin round an den gets da “no more” from da Moms. Yous should see da looks on yous faces! Hahaha!
Atom: Humph! It’s not funny atall! But me shoulda spected dat from a kitty so nuts dat yous doesn’t eben care a bit bout Yum-yums. An anyways, dis might be all well an good fur da Queen, but me’s starbin! Yum-yums is bout da only ting what keeps me goin!
Chester: Yeah, right! You’re so starving that you spit out the little pieces of the special food when you eat the little bit of Whiskas you get. If you were really hungry you’d eat those pieces!
Atom: Bein starving habn’t made dat food taste much better, specially not when we has yummy Whiskas in our bowls.
Emily: Dat's fur sure! It’s no wonder I’m losing so much weight. I can hardly stand the taste of that diet food!
Chester: Yet that doesn’t seem to stop you from eating it, I’ve noticed. Even Atom is eating more of it, despite the spitting.
Atom: Well, we habs to eat sometin, but dat doesn’t mean we habs to like it. Anyways, now dat da Em is feeling better we’ll prolly get our old food back, don’t you tink?
Dinky: You tink, really? Dat would be wunnerful!
Chester: I hate to burst your bubble, but this diet is for good. If you all start eating like you used to Emily will get sick again and you, Atom, will get as fat as Emily!
Emily: Yous means we’s gonna have to eat dat ridiculous excuse fur cat food forever?
Atom (in horror): An eber??
Chester: And ever! (chuckles behind his hand).
Emily: Claws and Tails! Come here, wort, I needs to tear something up (she stretches out her paws to snag him).
Dinky: Eeekk! No way! (bounds off laughing).
Cat Chat 01-31-03
Spring Fur A Minute
Emily: Oh, what a beautiful day it’s been outside! The sun so warm and everying smellin all fresh and none of dat cold cold bitter cold wind atall!! It were so wunnerful! Mom even came outside an brusheded da leabs offen da stone what be over Harry’s grave and knocked down dat old dead hanger plant from da hook at da end of da deck. She’s habn’t been able to get to dat ole dead ting causa Nefurobbie stoleded her ladder, but she found a long stick and knocked at it till it falled down. Yous nose it habs to be pretty nice fur Mom to come outside an do stuffers!
Chester: Boy, that’s for sure! Mom never comes out in the yard except to take the garbage out or go to the storage building. I think she’s allergic to being outdoors or something—heehee! Seriously, the warmth and the sun must have put her in a pretty good mood for her to come down and putter around a little. It’s nice for all of us to have such a nice day after all of that terrible cold!
Atom: It sure is! Mom’s eben opened da window in da goin-to-da-outside deck door so as we could smell da outside and feel da warm breeze. An it’s been so sunny an warm on our couch an ledges. (sigh) Mmm, it’s so cozy out on da deck in da sun.
Dinky: Me’s so cited bout dis nice warm warm me can hardly stand it! Me jus can’t hep runnin in an out an in an out agin an agin! But snugglin on da couch in da sun is special nice too after me gets wored out from alla dat runnin. Me’s so glad dat Spring has got here. I was so so sick ub da nasty hurrble cold!
Chester: Whoa, hold on there, mush-for-brains! It’s not Spring yet. This is just a bit of nice weather before it turns cold again. It’s only January, after all. We have lots of Winter left.
Dinky: Yous means it’s gonna get cold cold agin?? Nooooo! Me doesn’t want it to get cold cold again! Me likes da warm warm!
Chester: We all prefer the warm Spring weather, but Winter lasts through February and into March. I’ve even heard the Moms talk about it snowing in April sometimes. It will get cold again, and pretty soon too, according to the weather people. And we’ll probably have at least another snow or two.
Emily: Yuck! I hate da snow! At least ifn it’s only cold I can go out fur a little bit, but I can’t stand having my paws touch nasty snow. It’s wet and hurrble cold and just plain yucky! I hope we don’t have any more of dat nasty stuffers dis year!
Atom: Me tinks it’s purrty, all white an neat coberin alla da grass an leabs an stuffers. It smells neat too, when one ub da Moms opens da door. Me doesn’t tink me would want to go out in it, doe, eben ifn me went out, which ub course me don’t eber. Mom’s openeded da back door to show me da snow up close an had me touch it wid my paw an it do be nasty wet cold stuffers fur sure! But it looks real purrty.
Emily: Mom tinks it looks pretty too, which I tink is ridiculous. She’s alays opening da door and telling me to look at da snow, like it’s anyting I would want to see! Mom2 and me bof hates it completely alays.
Dinky: Me gots to admit it is purrty to look at from da deck when it isn’t cold cold out dar. An it seem like it’s not as cold cold on da deck when da snow be fallin all soft an fluffy-like from da sky. An eberytin gets all quiet, like da whole world habs stopped alla its noisyness so as to watch da bootiful white snow what God is sending us. Mom lubs dat too, da quietness an alla da purrtiness when it’s fallin. She likes to go out on da deck at night, when it alays starts to snow, yous nose it neber seems to start in da day, an she’ll watch da snow fallin wid me an ask me isn’t dat bootiful?
Emily: Humph! Dat Mom is nuts. It’s turrble stuffers, and no one wid any sense wid tink differnt. Is me and Mom2 da only peoples wid sense in dis house?
Chester: While I agree with Atom and Dinky about how pretty snow can be, I don’t have use for it either. I’d far rather be seeing Spring flowers blooming. But we still have a while before that happens. In fact, I just heard on the weather that it’s supposed to start snowing again tomorrow night and then turn really cold again.
Atom: Tomorrow in da night?? Yous means dis is all we gets ub nice warm sunny weader like we had today? Dat’s not fair atall! Purrty or not, I tink we better tell God we’s had nuff ub dis snow an cold cold stuffers fur to last us long an long! We doesn’t needs anymore ub dat messers, me meow!
Emily: We sure don’t! More snow is da last ting I want to see again! But it seems like God purrty much just lets da weader do whatever it wants to. Maybe He has trouble training it like we do da Moms.
Dinky: He’s purrty busy wid oder stuffers anyways, me meow. Me doesn’t mind seein da snow fallin all purrty agin so long as it doesn’t get too cold bitter cold agin like it were!
Chester: That’s the thing about Winter. You never know what it’s going to do or how long it’s going to last. I’d like to say the worst is over, but I doubt that’s the case. Still, it was nice having the pretty warm weather while it lasted.
Emily: I think it should last alla time. Maybe we should move down to dat Florida place where Abby and Ebony live. They don’t ever have Winter there.
Chester: That would involve getting in the car and staying in it for two days.
Emily: Eeeeewwww!!! Um…I’m not sure which is worset! Car…snow…car…snow. Day’s bof purrty bad, but I tink da car idea is da worset of da two. At least wid da snow I still have my warm house and my Mom2 and da oder Mom to fuss all over me. But I’d rader have neider da two days in da car nor da snow. I want Spring!
Dinky: Me wants da Spring an warmness too an all, but den me tinks, now dat me tinks bout it, dat prolly it will be Spring when God tinks it’s ready fur it to be. So since it’s up to Him, me jus won’t worry bout it…or at least stay in warm pwaces!
Emily: Yous nuts! I’ll be sleeping by da heater vent til it’s Spring fur more dan a minute!
Cat Chat is © 1999 - 2008, 2009 Ariel, Emily, Atom, Dinky, Harry, and Chester the Dragon. All rights reserved worldwide. This column may not be reprinted in part or whole without express permission of Ariel. Poetry Corner
“When Born Young” 02.01.03
by L. E. Shaffer © 2003 L. E. Shaffer When born young
And old once
Then gone forever
There was one Mind and body
Bent on one object
Knowing spirit
And stellar heights Over time memorial
The soul knew
The pleasure
Of losing the mind In one supreme
Moment built carefully
Lived in fantasy
Time and again The trip lasting forever
Over so very soon
Repeated obsessively
To the mountains Once yet again
The peaks in sight
And over the top
Erupting stupor When born young
To live hoary
With age and
Transforming beyond © 2003 L. E. Shaffer Hockey Puck
During the WTA Australian Open, we saw Serena and Venus Williams put on a display of tennis mastery. The sisters met in the final match featuring great play with Serena winning. The NFL Miami Dolphins disappointed, but Florida did bring home the Super Bowl trophy when the Tampa Bay Buccaneers defeated the Oakland Raiders handily. Ohio State Buckeyes surprised the Miami Hurricanes for the college football championship. NASCAR features its super bowl of racing at Daytona in February. In the NHL, Miami hosts the All Star Game featuring many future hall of famers. The Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA are beginning to make a comeback in defense of their title. Tiger Woods will be back with a healthy knee soon. He is sure to win some tournaments. Guest Articles
We have various guests this journal. As always everything is copyright of the author. The Artifact TheArtifact: Art, Artifact and Museum Reproductions since 1997. From Prehistoric to Ancient Egyptian, Greek, European and Asian artifacts, our reproductions compliment the finest collections and also make great gifts! …Own a Piece of History. http://www.theartifact.com © 2003 Artifactor A true friend is… A true friend will acknowledge your presence,
A true friend will help you when you don't understand,
A true friend will see when you need someone to talk to,
A true friend will appreciate your comments and take them seriously,
A true friend will laugh at your jokes even if they're not funny,
A true friend will keep your secrets,
A true friend will listen when you need a listener,
A true friend will be honest at all costs,
A true friend will rub your aches and pains away,
A true friend will be there to help you through tough times,
A true friend will be there when you a shoulder to cry on,
A true friend will visit you in the hospital when you are ill, to cheer you up,
A true friend will feel your pain, and help you know you are not alone,
A true friend will always make you smile, even on those not so good days,
A true friend will help you bare your pains,
A true friend will take you out after a hard day,
A true friend will scare the monsters away,
A true friend will acknowledge when you want to be alone,
A true friend will always ask "how is it going today?",
A true friend will support your decisions in life 100%,
A true friend will have the courage to go the distance it takes to make you happy,
A true friend will encourage you to do your best and be SATISFIED with it,
A true friend will always worry about your safety,
A true friend will never turn his back on you, or ignore you for whatever reason,
A true friend will help you see the positive side of things,
A true friend will stick up for you,
A true friend will gladly help, if you lose your lunch money,
A true friend will always understand,
A true friend will care about you always and forever,
A true friend will take notes for you when you are unable,
A true friend will disagree with you when necessary to help you contemplate problems,
A true friend will argue with you, and you will always get back together,
A true friend will always be there,
A true friend is than a friend, a true friend is FAMILY! Who are you're True Friends??
By: Patricia Gareau © 2003 Patricia Gareau XFireWeb.com At http://www.xfireweb.com testimonials help sell their superior product of outstanding web hosting services. They provide a personal touch no matter the size of the client. Runes of Ao.com has a testimonial recorded at http://www.xfireweb.com/testimonials.asp. © 2003 CEO Jeff R. The Mountains of Ao
Tears from Ao and three poetry collections, Pages of Life, Visions of Life, and Moments of Life are available electronically at http://RunesofAo.com/aobp/. The Runes of Ao project, The Mountains of Ao novel currently in final edit, Twins of the Dark Star novel in early stages, and the The Book of Kalian Mysticism poetry collection are all works in progress. Also a collaboration with K. Young on a novella called Dragon Embers is now published on the fan site known as Runes of Ao.com. The Dull Stuff
All opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of this magazine or its advertisers. Inputs and letters to this journal are subject to approval by Ebony and Abby. Submittals may be edited for content and become the property for the one-time nonexclusive publication of: Shaffer Novels/Poetry Company
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www.RunesofAo.com/abby/ Publication date: January 28, 2003
Author: L. E. Shaffer
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Email Reminder" in the subject line. [Previous Journal] [Journal Index] [Next Journal] 4 We are all one body, we have the same Spirit, and we have all been called to the same glorious future. 5 There is only one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 and there is only one God and Father, who is over us all and in us all and living through us all. 7 However, he has given each one of us a special gift according to the generosity of Christ. 8 That is why the Scriptures say,
“When he ascended to the heights,
he led a crowd of captives
and gave gifts to his people.”
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.) 1996. |
