The Shaffer Journal
Volume 7 Issue 7 July 2001
[Internet Stuff] [Hockey Puck] [Guest Meows! Cat Chat 1 2 3 4]
[The Mountains of Ao] [Poetry Corner] [The Dull Stuff] [Guest Articles] [In The Keys]

Kitty Talk
These journals are dedicated to Kitty GreyCat's spirit. She is at RainBow Bridge now. We all loved you, Kitty! Click the cat graphic to visit her Memorial page. Kitty born June 6, 1982. Died July 9, 1997.

This is Abby. We have a pawful journal this month full of stuffers that only us cats like. Them dogs can go pee on a fire plug for all we meow. There is a movie called Cats & Dogs that we want to see causing it has cats in it, of course. Us cats are special and a gift to cat kind and even them human beans, you nose? Meowing about human beans, mine got us cats a new-fangled food bowl what supposed to keep out pesky little itty bitty ants. I not mind a little ants with my food. Our human bean used to keep our old food bowl surrounded in water in a container in the bathtub. Now I keep forgetting and jump in the bathtub and there is nothing there. I pretend to play though so I don't embarrass myself. Now I know I embarrass myself cause vet time come near. I get nervous just thinking about it. I be a cloud of fur and claws, I be! I think I going to vet cause I got into human bean's plumeria plant. I like all that dirt to dig in, but human bean not want me in there, he don't. But I am the queen boss cat, I am, so anything goes.

This is Ebony. That Abby is full of stuffers as always, I meow. I had a big boating adventure, even if I not want to. Human bean taking me to the boat over the last several months. I not mind, it something new and wonderful to investigate and smell. He even started the boat motor and I was not scared at all. Then he took me out beyond the quay wall and we anchored. I scared of all that water a little bit, but it was an adventure. Then one day bean took me all the way out to John Sawyer Bank. I was scared a bit more, but bean let me ride where the compass was. That kept that nasty old win out of my fur. I looked at all that water, but it was hot. I took big catnap under the center console out of the sun. I visit human bean up on the fore deck once. I was glad to get back on land. I forgot I was tied up and jumped to the dock but landed in the water. Yuck! Only my lower half get wet, but it was bad. I much prefer to lay on human bean's rollaway desk. He minds a bit, but I am a cat that can do what I want. Even better than all that was the bag of catnip my boyfriend, Ren, send me from Colorado. I like catnip even more than Abby do, but she trying to open the package that was sent to me. She got all exciterated and punched holes in it with her claws. Abby is a catnip fiend for sure. Bean put it up out of her clutches.

This is Abby. And I meow that I love catnip. I got way up high on the cabinet to paw at the catnip bag, but it was out of reach. Oh, meow, dang it. So I meow and meow until human bean give me some yummy nummies what good for my teeth that taste good too. I meow and meow and drive human bean crazier than he is already alrighty. I never get enough yummy nummies. I got a new flavor too. Crab flavor is very good, although almost all flavors are my favorites. I am just a perfect kitty cat, you nose? I even cleaned Ebony from her accident jumping in the water by the dock by mistake, she meow. I think she did it on purpose. I got to keep everything clean and tidy, even that human bean we own.

This is Ebony. I let Abby clean me a little while. Then I hisspit at her. She chases me for no good reason. Abby a  pushy itty bitty kitty. Meow! Finally, that skeeter truck come screaming in the park. I hate that machine of screeching sounds. I was watching human bean cleaning his boat, when what should come right at me? A skeeter truck! I couldn't find no where good to hide. So I crawled in the hole by the water thing. I stayed there until human bean come and dig me out. I holding on with claws for dear life. I wasn't sure skeeter truck leave yet. Human bean got me out and took me home. I catnapped really heavily cause I was so tired from all my misadventures. See ya all next month.

Internet Stuff
I went to the state website to investigate the rules carrying a weapon for legal self-defense. That site is the Florida Department of State's section on weapons and law 790. The site explains how you can carry a weapon legally without a permit, but having a concealed weapons permit is easier in the long run. The restrictions on carrying a weapon without a permit apply very narrowly to your own vehicle, home, and business location. If carrying a weapon in your vehicle, the weapon must not be within easy reach and locked in a gun case. To use deadly force, your life must be in immediate danger and there is no escape. I have just barely touched upon this issue, and you must go to the site and read everything very carefully. Know the law, and obey the law. Guns are not for fun! See the NRA website, which lists the last known laws each respective state. These laws vary almost daily it seems. So be extremely cautious and review these laws often.

As always http://RunesofAo.com website has been very busy. Other new and interesting pages are http://RunesofAo.com/thisthat/advertising.htm, http://RunesofAo.com/thisthat/hosting.htm, http://RunesofAo.com/abby/aboutabby.htm, and http://RunesofAo.com/ebony/aboutebony.htm. You will also notice that we are now hosting our journals at our main website. Slowly but surely, we are moving all content to our main domain site. All other sites will contain just a smidgen of content and direct visitors to our wild and wonderful domain right here at http://RunesofAo.com!

We are proud to announce a new poetry collection by poet Sharon Lampkin. The title of this collection is Diamonds from Heaven and available at http://RunesofAo.com/aobp/. We welcome new artists Phyllis Angrick, Donna King, and Ruth Thompson to the AlphaOmega Bookstore & Publishers growing stock of artists. We are currently working a poetry collection by Stella Kennedy. Her poetry is quite good and so enjoyable. We hope to have her published very soon. We will release an announcement via email, when her work is published.

Welcome To PetVille! PetVille is a group of pet-lovers who have gathered to help other pet-lovers all over the web in several ways. We provide information about animal welfare, spaying and neutering your pets, animal adoptions and rescues, and helping to teach your child to care for their pets. We provide links to sites about subjects of interest to pet-lovers, including no-kill shelters and information on pet diseases. And we help site owners everywhere make their sites the best they can be with tutorials, tips, and one-on-one help. If you have a pet site or a pet page you may join PetVille. We provide a permanent link to your site from our hub site, http://petville.50megs.com and ask that you in turn provide us a link back. That's all there is to it! We also have several webrings you may join, and awards you may apply for. We still have a lot to do: not all of our sites are up, and we have some things left to do at PetVille Resource: for instance, we will soon open the Diner, which will contain recipes for treats for both pets and people. We also hope to open the Library soon. This will contain links to all sorts of sites, from great graphics sites to sites that have advice and information about pets of all kinds. So stop on by and see us! We are Family Friendly and Kid Safe. PetVille Mentors... Article submitted by Ariel.

In The Keys
I found an excellent and reliable boat service technician. And best of all is that he lives right in our beloved park. He has been and will continue working on my boat both maintenance and repair. His company's name is Lo-Key Marine Services. He is factory trained and certified, has 29 years experience, provides quality service and parts, works on outboard and inboard, and has reasonable rates for mobile service. His name is Phil Quinsland, and he can be reached at 305-731-0438 or 305-743-9582. He replaced my steering unit and cable and did a fine job at a reasonable rate. He diagnosed my boat motor. I am going to have to replace the old one with a newer used motor of approximately the same model and horsepower. I have to save up the money and hope the old motor last long enough until I have the funds. Once I have the dollars, then I can sell the old 1986 Yamaha 115hp to someone who has more money than I!

And speaking of boating, I've done a lot of that as always. It seems everyone who comes down here for fun and sun go out on my boat. I certainly enjoy the company, and the gas and oil that they pay for. That way I get to see Sombrero Reef, Looe Key, John Sawyer Bank, Rachel Bank, Dockside, Sister's Creek, Boot Key Harbor, and Molasses Keys often. I snorkel, swim, sun, and all the fun one can handle. I saw big lobsters aplenty, reef sharks, bull sharks, nurse sharks, barracuda, spotted eagle rays, goliath groupers, and all colors of the rainbow. I towed someone deep into the canals near the gulf course with the help of Buddy and his friend. Finally, I have been rained on several times, but summer rain is only a minor irritant. Otherwise, the fun never ends.

Speaking of Buddy power, he is odd jobs incorporated. He painted my steps black, and boy do they look good. He washed, waxed, and vacuumed my truck. I have more jobs for him, if he is willing. I have to wait for the money first. Buddy does good work and is a pleasant person. Must be a reflection of the parent. Yes, John, I expect payment for that nice comment. hehe... I've also noticed that others are using Buddy power as well. Frank for one had him doing some odd jobs in the hot Florida Keys sunshine. Thanks, Buddy!

Miscellany: How about the fourth of July fireworks shot off Book Key Island for all those congregated around Sombrero Beach? I was working the bridge and watched the show. So did others who lined up on the bridge. What a view! And now for a useless opinion: I think that US1 should be a four-lane highway all the way from Homestead to Key West. One life saved is worth it all. Nothing else is as important to the issue as saving lives, even if only one. Yet more than one life will be saved as evidenced by the continued heavy loss of life all along the killer highway. Very important info: All residents of the Keys need a hurricane sticker for there vehicles. There are three zones each indicated by a different numbered and colored sticker. Here in the heart of the Keys, Marathon, we are in zone 2 and sport a blue sticker on our window shields. In case of a hurricane and evacuation and once it is all over, go to the Homestead race track where officials will assist your reentry. The sticker is extremely helpful in this process. See the Sheriff's office for more details and your very own sticker.

Finally and last of all: I'm moving out to the point [lot W8] at the end of August. Yes, I know all the pros and cons! hehe... Anyway, let's have our Annual Summer Point Party for friends, my retirement anniversary, my moving-to-Gulfstream anniversary, summer residents, and just to celebrate summer! Actually, we need no excuse whatsoever for a party, so come one and all. If you come, great; if you don't, no problem. For certain there will be three at the party: Ebony, Abby, and me. Come early, come late, or don't come at all. This is a really cheap, cheesy party too. I will provide the location at W8 and the music. Each person and/or couple brings anything else they want with them. What they bring is for them only and no one else. So guard your stuff jealousy, or the cats will take it. The date: September 1. The time: 3 PM or thereabouts. Location: W8. Subject to any necessary adjustments, but that is not likely.

Guest Meows!
This is Larry for Ariel. She and her three cats, Atom, Dinky, and Emily, gave us some wonderful Cat Chat articles this month. [Harry is at Rainbow Bridge now.] We are gratified that we can offer this regular article about some wonderful cats and their human beans with visits by a dragon! Please visit the Memorial Page for Ariel's mother. Click the cat wagging its tail graphic to visit their net home. Thank you. Now here is Chester the dragon, Atom, Dinky, and Emily with Cat Chat:

Cat Chat 06-05-01
Summertime Blues

Emily: I's tells yous, I gots lots to meow bout dis summertime bizness what's startin to go on round here! It's hot alla time an it rains alla time an sides dat, it's cold in da house alla time! Claws an tails!! Spring were ok cause it were better dan winter but dis summer ting stink, I meow! An I's habin a turrible time tryin to find a good place for restin. Dat Atom terrorist hawgs Mom's bed and as ifn dat wasn't enuff, dat Dink ting of a monster kitten da Moms play wid hawgs all da oder spots on da bed! I can't sleep nowhere!

Chester: My, my, Emily, you do have a lot on your mind, don't you? You know we need the rain: it's good for us to make the air clean, the flowers grow, and all sorts of other things that Mother Nature needs. Besides, the house isn't cold all the time everywhere, and I know you find all sorts of places to sleep. I've even seen you up on Mom's bed. You only leave when she gets in it. I think you just aren't happy unless you complain.

Emily: Yeah, well, I has lots to plain bout, fur sure! What wid da icky weader an da monster kittens an all. Dar is some good stuffers, tho. Mom2 lets me sleep wid her sometime ifn she nose I's had enuff ub dem monster boys. I hides good in her offus too, and bein da Queen, dem oder brats nose day's 'offn da limits' ifns da's comes near my spot in dar. I heared Mom2 sayin dat a lot. She's gots my num nums in dar furs fast feedin fur me too. Teehee! An den too, it's furry fun playin in da creek and lotsa critters sides boidies and mousies is out now too--dat's bout da only good ting bout dis summertime bizness. Da woist ting is dat I gets my fur all wet and sticked togeder tho and Mom wants to brush me. It's ok at first, cause it heps to dry me gooder, but Mom jus don't nose when to stop an works me ober real bad to make me bootiful again. I gives her some scritchins sometime to let her nose I'm not happy! But den Mom were a good bean an put shelfers fur dem brat boys so's I can hab my couch back on da deck. Dem boys was hawging dat too! Nasty worts! I's da Queen an dat be my couch back!

Atom: Yous jus a big grumpy grump! All yous does is plain, plain, plain! Me hears yous alla time talkin bout me an da Dink. Poor liddle Dink, he hab ta hide or play dead so as yous won't whack him! An yous whack him anyways, specially after yous done dat big ole tiger hissin and growlin!! Me's sick ub all dis yous bein da Queen ob da house stuffers! We's gots ta lib in here too, yous nose, an we don't eben gets to goes out and pway cause da Mom's say we's too goofy to go out an sides Dink would run way agin. Dem Moms, day's alays fussin bout dat stormy door bein closed and locked up tights so's we can't get out. We's gots ta settle fur pwaying wid purtend mousies and stuffers dat isn't real! At least yous gets to go out. An yous won't eben pway wid me anymore! Chester is right, yous just isn't happy less yous miserable!

Emily: Yous don't hab to lib here, yous nose! I can vote yous right outta da house, like dem beans do on dat TV show, "Da Weakenst Linker." I votes both yous an dat Dink outta da house! So dar!

Chester: Em, you can't do that, that's only on TV. Besides, even on the show there has to be at least two people voting against one, not one against two! You really are in an extra grumpy mood today. I guess it's because Mom just got finished brushing you all over. But Atom is right: we all live here too, and we ought to get along. You should try to look at the positive side of things, like the Moms oooing and ahhing all over you when you put on your beauty show.

Emily: Well, dar are some good tings round here, but I has a right to be grumpy cause I's a Queen an alays will be an dar's nothing any ub yous can do bout it! An I still tink I should get to vote da monster worts outta da house!

Atom: Well yous can't, cause da Moms won't let yous anyways. We's alla fambly here, an at least me an Dink hab lotsa fun. We finds all sorts neat stuffers to pway wid on da deck, tings dat comes in in da dark and likes dem lights out dar, and some little bitty tings dat jus a cat could see. We chase an chase dem an hab all kindsa fun, eben ifn we can't go outside, don't we Dink?

Dinky: Yous wants me to meow now? Me's doesn't nose bout dat, dat Emily is in a furry bad mood. Me better stay ober here so as she don't 'tack me! (sits down as far away from Emily as possible). Yeah, we has lotsa fun and me's getting big finly so's me can jumps high and talks lots to da Moms. Me's got lotsa tings to tell bout afer day's wakes up. Me's tryin ta get Atom ta talk more to da Moms too. Oh, an me's figgered out a new game wid Addom, bout ridin a horsey on Addom's head and back!! Me saw dat watchin baketballs on da TV wid Mom2. Me an Mom2 watches baketballs alla time, an me learns lots ub tings on dar.

Chester: I must admit you are getting big and always coming up with new tricks. The Moms are always laughing at stuff you do, even the horseback riding on Atom. Although Atom isn't always too happy about that, I don't think. Still, it is quite entertaining to watch the two of you rip-roaring around the house and 'rough-housing' together. The Moms try to get pictures but at the warp speed you two go at it is impossible - nothing but a blur. They did get some new pictures though when the two of you were snuggled together, or one or the other of you had the other pinned down. I heard Mom2 call you the "Bolo Brothers" because they were famous wrestlers and had lots of sneaky moves that you two seem to have instinctively picked up on. But...I don't think they do horseback riding in basketball, Dinky. In fact, I know they don't. You must have been watching another program.

Dinky: What does yous mean? All TV is baketballs! Eberyone nose dat! An anoder ting me's bin tinkin. Dat Em's bin plainin bout getting wet outside and habin to get brusheded when she come in, an den it bein too cold in here cause she's wet, so how come she goes out when she nose it's rainin? Dat makes no sense atall to me!

Emily: Hiiissspppiiittt! You stupid wort! Da Moms make da weader! Ebery kittie nose dat! An not all TV is baketball! Yous got nothin but fluff tween yous ears!

Dinky: How can dat be? Dar were plenty ub weader before eber me came to dis house. How would da Moms nose to make weader where me was ifn day didn't eben nose me? Weader is just dar, is all. Yous is da one wid fluff in yous ears!

Chester: I've been telling her that for years, Dink, but she won't listen. Well, not the fluff in her ears part...

Emily: Yous, yous...I's heared enuff from yous nasty brat! I's da bootiful one and dat's what counts round dis house! Yous don't nose nothing! Claws and tails, da tings I hab to put up wid! An yous all wonder why I's grumpy. I's goin outside.

Dinky: But it's rainin!

Emily: (Whap) Shut up, yous! (stalks off)

Dinky: Mew! She be one mean big kittie, me meows! Why can'ts we's all jus get long?

Cat Chat 06-12-01
Dink In The Sink

Dinky: Me's bin finding so much fun stuffers to do now dat me's gettin bigger. See, me can jump up on da counters real easy like now, an me's can gets jus bout anywheres me wants, cept when da Moms do dat "Ahhtttt!" noise an me nose me better not do what me was wantin to do.

Chester: You have become quite the little fireball, a lot like Atom when he was your age. The only difference in that Atom got cage time when he got too rambunctious because Harry was so frail. I've heard Mom threatening you with cage time, Dink, you better watch out! Heehee!

Atom: Me tinks it would be good fur dat liddle pest to get some cage time. Me means, me lubs him an lubs pwayin wid him, but sometime he's jus too much! Specially wid dat horsey game he's been pwayin on me! Me can't get no peace atall, an he's eben tooked ober my basket!

Emily: Mweeheehee! Now yous nose how I feels! It's not fun to be bothered by a wort, is it monster Atom? Heeheehee!

Atom: Me doesn't tink it's funny! An sides, it's not da same ting atall! Me neber climbeded all ober yous an tackeded yous! Yous alays bin too growly fur dat!

Emily: Yeah, bein growly was da only way to keep from bein tackeded by yous, yous wort!

Dinky: Me's not a pest or a wort! Me's a Dink! An me was talking bout me, not yous! (ducks quickly behind Atom before Emily can smack him). Now, as me were saying, me's bin finding all sortsa fun stuffers to do round da house, an day don't all hab ta do wid tackin Addom eider! Heehee! Like, one ting dat's extra furry fun is watchin da water drippin at da sinks. Me likes da kitchen sink bestest, cause me can get all comfable an watch da water drip real close. Me watches it from every which an way. Da Moms will put stuffers in da sink so as da water splishes differnt ways. Sometime me tries to catch it, but mostly me likes to watch it go slish splash. It jus fasenatin!

Chester: Heehee, you are quite the observer! You watch everything that goes on so carefully. Mom calls you The Watcher because you watch stuff so closely.

Atom: A little too close, sometime, me meow! He follow me round an do eberytin me does! He eben steals my snacks ifn me's not careful. Sometime me jus gibs up an lets him hab whateber it be. It's jus not worth tryin to get it back!

Dinky: Heehee! Me's a growin kitten, an me lub treats. But me were talking bout da sink. Now, me likes pwayin in da baffroom sinks an specially in da tubs, but dat kitchen sink be da funnest. Dar be alays sometin different in it to make different splishes. Da last couple ub days Mom hab habed a big pot in dar wid dis round ting on da side...

Chester: That's the pot handle. Mom is soaking the pot to get it clean.

Dinky: Whateber! Anyways, da Moms, day makes da water go true da round ting and dat's eggstra fun. Me cin catch da water on top ub da round ting an it stops runnin down to da bottom! Me jus can't get nuff ub doin dat an watchin it. Me sticks my paw in dar an da water jus stops, an some splishes on da sink edge. An den my paw, it gets all wet, so as me washes it, den does it all ober agin. Me can do dat fureber an eber!

Emily: I wishest yous would do dat fureber an eber! Den I wouldn't hab to see none ub yous! Silly wort, playin wid da water!

Chester: Oh, as if you don't play with water in the sinks! I've seen you do it!

Emily: I don't play, I jus drink outta da faucet. I's not gonna get my paws all wet jus to watch da water splish. Dat's fur stupid wort kittens to do, not queens like me! I's much too mature fur dat silly stuffers. Humph!

Atom: Yous pways wid our mousies an our straws! Me's seed yous do dat lots lately.

Emily: Do not!

Atom: Do too!

Emily: Do not do not!

Chester: Um, Atom, we're supposed to pretend we don't see Emily play, I think. She seems to not want anyone to know she still plays because she doesn't want to get caught being silly. It must be a queen thing...

Atom: Well, dat's eben sillier dan pwayin, me meow!

Dinky: Me tinks so too. What's wrong wid pwayin? Dat's a kitty's job, me meows! Oh, and me's found anoder furry fun game in Mom2's baffroom! Dar's dis ting what she rolls paper offen when she sits on da big ting what makes water swirl round and round. Me's gets lotsa lubin from Mom2 while she sits on dat big ting, an me lubs dat, but me's really be waitin fur dat ting ta do alla dem furry fun tings so's me's can pway in it. So me waits til she gets da papers an den me hears dat ting she sits on goin whooshin and da water's doin all kindsa tings in dat pwace! It be so furry fun to watch, an me try to catch it too but it be too fast eben fur me! Me pways in dat tub ting too, eben when dar's no water in dar. Addom and me's bof gets in dar and pways togeber an hab lotsa fun. But dis special new game me found is sometin else! See, me figgered out me could get holda dat paper what Mom2 gets, an me can pway wid it an claw it an eat it all up! It's most as fun as da water in da sink, maybe eben funner. Heehee!

Chester: Yeah, the Moms are about to eat you up for doing that! You're shredding paper all over the place lately, and they don't like it a bit! They're getting really mad about having to pick up all the paper shreds you leave all over the floor. I've heard them threatening cage time for you if you don't stop it. Why do you do that, anyway?

Dinky: Cause it's fun, why elsest?

Atom: Yous won't tink cage time is fun ifn day really go get dat cage. You get put into what da Moms call da cat carrier an hab to stay dar til day tink yous hab calmed down. Me habed lotsa cage time when me were little like yous, but me's all growed up now an neber get yelled at or nuttin. Yous bin getting yelled at most ebery day here lately. An me lubs it! Mweeheehee! It's funner dan fun to hab someone elsest sides me getting yelled at. Heeheehee!

Dinky: Me hab noticed da Moms is yellin at me, but me doesn't do nuttin bad. Me's jus pwayin.

Atom: Dat's what me alays said, but it don't matter. Ifn yous does stuffers to makes dem mad da yells. An squirts water at yous too! Heehee!

Dinky: Yeah, Mom squirted water in my face at da dinner table. All me were doin was tryin to paw some food offen Mom2's plate! Dat weren't nice atall, me meow! Me runned after Mom did dat. She said me had to learn mannerns.

Emily: They's gonna learn yous more manners ifn yous don't stop bein a bad kitten. I's heared dem yellin at yous, an I lubs it too! It's bout time day started yellin at yous, yous monster wort kitten. Yous jus getting too wild, yous is! Kittens is nothing but trouble, I meow. An yous nose what? Dis is really really bad! I heared da Moms talking bout some oder cat dat might be moofin in here wid us! Like we needs anoder cat round here. Claws an Tails, two monsters is two monsters too much already.

Atom: Me's heared sometin bout dat. Grandpa bean hab gots hisself a cat fer a while but he's moofin to dis pwace Carolina Village sometime soon, an day don't let cats own beans dar, so da Moms hab said he can jus bring da cat to lib here. An den Grandpa can hab what da Moms is calling visitin rights. Me's not so sure bout dis new cat eider. Me hopes she don't crawl all ober me like Dinky does.

Chester: I hear she's an older kitty, not a kitten.

Emily: It doesn't matter, we doesn't need anoder cat. I's gonna go an hab a long talk wid Mom2 an make sure she doesn't let dat oder cat come here. (Emily heads to Mom2's office)

Dinky: Me tinks a new kitty cat would be fun...but not as fun as da sink! Heehee!

Cat Chat 06-20-01
The Strange Ladies

Atom: Da Moms let deese two strange lady beans in da house an me doesn't like it atall. Day isn't like da guitar beans what come an is mostly interested in dar guitars an let us get used to dem an take our time to get friendly. Deese two lady beans, day wanted to touch an pet an squish us! Right away, widout eben a proper interduction ub a couple ub weeks! It just isn't naturl, an kinda sceery, me meow!

Dinky: Me tinks so too! Me doesn't wike strange beans wantin to pet me when me doesn't eben get to sniff dem out foist. An day smelled funny too, specially one ub dem. Mom calls it da "old lady smell." It's jus plain weird. Da oder one, she didn't smell as much ole lady bean as da foist lady, she smelled a lot a lot like dem smokey tings da Moms put in dar moufs, but eben more, and wid sumtin else too. An day was all oohhhh, kitty kitty an reaching out to grab me like big monsters! Me runneded as fast as me could, me did! Me don't tink da Moms should bring ober beans what wants to squish us an kitty kitty us soon as da see us!

Emily: Well, at least day wasn't as bad as children beans, cause day couldn't move furry fast. But I didn't like it eider. I neber hab liked it when da Moms wants to introduce us to strange beans widout so much as an if you please! Ifn I wants to meet dem I'll do it on my own terms, thank you furry much! I doesn't like anyone picking me up an squishing me anyways!

Chester: I'm not overly fond of strangers myself. They all look at me so oddly. But they almost never want to squish me.

Emily: Gee, I wonder why, scale-boy! Mweeheehee!

Chester: Hahaha! Yes, I'm not quite as cuddly as you cats! I know those ladies were strangers to us, but they weren't to the Moms, and they weren't not nice ladies. One was a friend of Grandpa bean's and the other was Mom2's Mom. She just hadn't been over here before. Grandpa's friend had been over, but not in the house because of the long stairs we have. Those are tough on some people, even Mom2 sometimes.

Atom: Ifn dat were Mom2's Mom, den where is Mom's Mom? Me habn't eber seed her...

Emily: Yous needs to read some ub our back columns or look at the rest of Mom's site! Mom's Mom died most three years ago, way before yous monsters got borneded. Eben when she was alive she hardly eber comed ober. She wasn't one fur visitin. An eben when she did, she didn't try to pet all ober us like deese ladies wanted to. She were a furry respectful-like bean.

Dinky: Is she at Rainbow Bridge now?

Chester: I guess so, or maybe what human people call Heaven, with her family. I think maybe humans have sort of a choice where they stay, if they've been good people. I think maybe Mom's Mom would want to be with her human family, since really all her pets that owned her were more Grandpa's pets. She liked kitty cats, Mom says, but wasn't wild crazy about them like Grandpa and the Moms. Still, she was a good person and I know Mom loves her a whole lot. Did you see how she brought stuff home that was her Mom's? That silly little hat and that belt Mom and her sister took to camp, that Mom's Mom kept all these years?

Atom: Does Mom2 have stuff like dat from her Mom?

Emily: No, silly! Beans don't keep treasures like that when the moms are still alive! Well, cept fur Mom2's Gramma bean, cause they is habing to sell her house or somthin so as she can live in a nursery home. But she has lots of things that were her Daddy's, cause he is in Heaven.

Dinky: So, um, what yous is sayin is ifn da beans is at Rainbow Bridge, den da Moms only keep treasures, but ifn da isn't, day hab to bring da beans ober to squish us?

Chester: Heehee! Well, I'm not sure if that's the exact intent, but it does seem to be the way it works out. But they only came over once. Mom2's Mom probably will come over again more often, but you'll all get used to her like you got used to Grandpa and the guitar people.

Atom: Yous mean we's gonna hab to put up wid dem lady beans agin?? Oncet were enuff, me meow! Day's jus gonna want to squish us an kitty kitty us again, me jus nose it!

Chester: People are always going to come over that we don't know, or at least, that we haven't met yet.

Dinky: What's da differnce? Ifn we habn't met dem yet dan we doesn't nose dem, right?

Chester: Well, yes, but what I meant was, there are people we hear the Moms talking about, or people who maybe haven't been over in a long time, and those are people we just haven't met yet. Like for instance Mom's friend Dinah and her little boy. I guess he's not so little anymore! It's been a long time since she's been over to see Mom.

Emily: Oh, I member her! She useta come ober purrty a lot, but I habn't seed her since way before we moofed to dis house. I member Mom sayin she works alla time. She was an ok bean, fur a bean. She didn't try to squish me an Harry like dem ladies did. She would jus say hi Harry, hi Emily. Eben da children weren't too bad. Oncet I runneded and hid he didn't try to find me like lotsa childrens does. Day is owned by cats demselfes, so I guess dat's why. An den dar's dat Beth bean, wid her childrens. She's purrty strange, but not a stranger, at least to me. Da childrens is loud, but day is more interested in poundin on Mom's piano dan chasing cats, which is fine wid me! An dar be oder beans what come by then and now, like dat man bean wid da fur on his face what fixes stuffers fur Mom sometime. But he don't boder us atall, he jus ignore us. Not like dem ladies! I tink da woulda squisheded us to deaf ifn da could hab, only I wasn't habin none ub dat!

Dinky: Me neider. But...me doesn't nose dem oder beans what yous an Chester is talking bout. What's a childrens anyways?

Emily: It's a little hooman bean what makes lots ub noise and runs round real fast getting into eberyting.

Dinky: Me doesn't tink me wants to meet any ub dose! Da oder beans doesn't sound all dat bad, doe...but me still doesn't tink me nose any ub dem.

Atom: Oh, yous seed da man bean wid da furry face da oder day, member? He didn't come in or nuttin, he come ober to look at sometin outside Mom wants fixed. But we seed him from our shelf on da deck. He had a children wid him, me tink. A little short bean. But it weren't noisy or nuttin.

Chester: Ummm, no, I remember that boy from last summer. He doesn't bother anyone, just helps his dad. That's a good kid, in my book!

Emily: Mine too! So how come dem lady beans can't be like dat children an da furry faced bean an leab us lone?

Chester: I don't know. Maybe it's an old lady thing. Or maybe they just want to feel your soft, beautiful fur (hiding a smile behind his hand).

Emily: Well, I do hab bootiful soft fur! I nose da Moms likes to touch it and pet it an stuffers.

Atom: Me habs bootiful soft fur too! Me guesses me can't blame da lady beans fur wanting to pet my bootiful fur. After all, who could resist all dis booty? Cept maybe da man bean wid fur ub his own. Maybe me might let dem touch me a little ifn da come ober agin...

Emily: I's not so sure bout dat, but I might let dem look at alla my booty, maybe.

Dinky: Yous twos is nuts! Me's gonna run an hide under da bed ifn day come agin!

Emily: (preening) Dat's only cause yous isn't bootiful like us!

Dinky: Maybe not, but me's smarter dan yous, fluff brain! (runs as fast as he can to keep from getting paw-whapped).

Emily: Hey! Well, no use wastin energy chasin da wort! I gots to keep myself bootiful! Right, Atom?

Atom: Um, yeah, sure, right. Hey, Dink, wait fur me!

Cat Chat 06-29-01
Cage Time Part Two

Atom: I tried to warn him...

(heard in the background): Mew! Mew!

Emily: Oh, come on! Yous really didn't eggspect him to listen, did you? He's just a stupid little wort! Sides, yous neber listened when yous was a kitten. Yous neber learneded, eider! Yous jus kep on getting in trouble after trouble...

(heard in the background): Mew, mew! Mew, mew!

Atom: Yeah, but me neber had anyones to warn me bout such tings! Yous neber talked to me back den cept to hisspit at me, an Harry, he pretty much nored me much as he could. An sides dat, yous neber had dat get done to yous. Me doesn't nose why, neider. Yous is sure mean nuff now, yous musta been a monster kitten. Mom eben says yous foist name were Monster Emily Small!

Emily: Yeah, but dat were cause I played real rough, not cause I gots in trouble. I was a good kitten. I neber eber knocked stuffers ober or nothing like dat. Not like yous two terrorists!

(heard in the background): Mew, mew! Mew, mew! Mew, mew!

Chester: You can't tell me that you never did anything bad when you were a kitten! All kittens get in trouble. Be honest, now, you must have done something bad.

Emily: Not me! I was alays a good kitten. Hey Mom! Did I eber get in trouble when I was a kitten?

Mom (from the bedroom): What? Um...no, not that I can remember. You were always a good kitten. Crazy, but good. Girl kittens don't seem to be terrorists like boy kittens.

Emily: See? I tol yous! Humph!

(heard in the background): Mew! Mew!

Atom: Me doesn't believe it. Yous nose Mom's memory isn't da bestest. She prolly jus don't member any ub da bad tings yous done!

Emily: Mom alays members cat stories. She'd member ifn I did anything bad. An I didn't, so there! Yous an yous little friend, on da oder paw....

(heard in the background): Mew, mew! Mew, mew!

Atom: Jus what is yous insinatatin, Miss Queenie?

Emily: I isn't insinatatin nothin. I's sayin it straight out: yous two is terrorists, an jus can't keep outta trouble. Why else would yous hab spent alla dat cage time when yous was littler? An now yous little wort shadow is doin da same stuffers! Well, not xactly da same, but da same enuff to get him cage time! Yous two jus doesn't hab no sense atall, yous doesn't. Da Moms can say Ahhttt an No til days' blue in dar faces, but yous still do da stuffers day's told yous not too, an tinks ub oder stuffers bad to do dat day didn't eben tink yous would do!

Chester: She's right, you know. You two do have a talent for finding things to do that are bound to get you in trouble. Dinky has been cruising for cage time for quite a while, now, especially since he started tearing up paper and scattering the shreds all ober the floor. The Moms have been none to happy about that! I can't understand why he has to shred papers all the time. Not that that is the only thing that got him thrown into the cage!

(heard in the background): Mew, mew! Mew, mew! Mew, mew!

Emily: Well, I tink it's way past time dat wort spent time in da cage. Mom hab been threatenin an threatenin to go get da cage outta da little house, but it wasn't til after last night she finally did it. As soon as I sawed dat cage sitting in da libin room I started laffin and laffin! I nosed dat wort would be getting put in there furry soon, an I could hardly wait! An da stupid little furball, he didn't eben nose what were comin. He looked all ober da cage like, well, what is dis? It were hilarious! I wouldn't hab minded a bit ifn both ub dem monster kittens got put in dar, but Dinky sure deserved it mostest.

Atom: What, me habn't done anyting bad!

Emily: No, yous jus hep da wort be bad--heehee!

Atom: Well, like me said, me tried to warn him, eben before Mom went an got da cage. Me tried to tell him what she were talking bout ebery time she threateneded him wid it. But he jus didn't tink dat Mom were serious or sometin. He neber tinks he does nuttin bad. Course we really doesn't do nuttin really bad, we's jus pwayin. We doesn't mean nuttin by it. But me learned a long time ago dat what we tinks is jus pwayin isn't stuffers dat da Moms want us to be doin!

(heard in the background): Mew! Mew! Mew! Mew!

Chester: Especially when "just playing" involves waking Mom up all night long! You two should have known better than to play fight on the bed while Mom was trying to sleep. The Moms get real cranky when they don't get their sleep.

Atom: Hey, me didn't hab nuttin to do wid it! Me were jus sleepin mysef, an dat Dink jus habed to keep comin up an wakin me up an bitin me, so ub course me had to bite back an wrestle him down an stuffers.

Emily: An den yous two went tearing round da house like a herd ub elephants making all sortsa noise.

Atom: Dat's jus part ub d pwayin and wrestling and stuffers. But den me went an laid down an went to sleep at Mom's feet like a good boy, an dat Dink started it up all ober again. Mom started yelling at us da second or third time, an eben whapped us wid a pillow oncet, but Dink wouldn't stop!

Chester: Oh, and I know how hard you tried to discourage him!

Atom: Me did say we better be stoppin dis after da pillow whapped us, but Dink, he were jus rarin to go. What was me to do? Sides, it weren't da getting woked up dat got Mom to put Dink in da cage!

Emily: No, but it sure was da start ub it! Mom tol dat Dink wort dat he were on her zero tolerance list. She were real mad! An when she got up, he'd already went an torned up some papers, so she got eben madder and shook dem in his face and den went out to get da cage. I was hoping he would go right in, but I heared her tell Mom2 she wanted to wait til she caught him red-pawed. She went an pulled out da drawer under da stove, where you kittens lose lots ub yous toys, and what did she find but one ub her good rings! Now, she nosed I didn't get dat ring, and she nosed Atom didn't eider, cause he neber done anyting like dat. It had to be dat Dink, and Mom were getting furious! But before she could eben start to find him an yell at him, da little idiot wort jumped up on da TV, where we all nose we's not spossed to go, an knocked down Mom's guitar books and papers went eberywhere! Well, dat did it! She had him red-pawed an into da cage he went. An I laffed an laffed an laffed! I's still laffin, it's jus too fun to finally hab dat wort get what he deserbe!

Atom: Me gots to admit, me's laffin to. He nosed better, he were jus bein so crazy stupid. An sides, it's really neat to hab someone else in da cage an in trouble. Mweeheehee!!!!

Chester: I feel kind of sorry for the little guy, but he was asking for it...

(heard in the background): Mew! Mew! Mew! Mew! Mew! Mew! Mew! Mew!

Chester: How much longer do you think he'll be in there?

Emily: Foreber, I hopes! Heehee!

Atom: (listening to the mewing) Well, he's still sounding pretty rowdy, an he's only been in dar about an hour. I bet Mom will let him out in anoder hour ifn he quiets down. Dat's bout da longest me eber spent in dar.

Emily: Too bad, but yous prolly right. Da Moms don't like to keep yous monsters in dar too long. But I bet dis won't be da only cage time da wort will get! Mweeheehee!!


Cat Chat is © 1999 - 2008, 2009 Ariel, Emily, Atom, Dinky, Harry, and Chester the Dragon. All rights reserved worldwide. This column may not be reprinted in part or whole without express permission of Ariel.

Poetry Corner
“Upon Winged Joy” 6.27.01 
by L. E. Shaffer © 2001 L. E. Shaffer

Cast a long shadow
Upon winged horse
Over thunderheads
Dark and brooding

Hooves striking
Sparks on clouds
On high lightning
Streaked with eyes blazing

Across windswept skies
Shadows emblazoned
Riding the storms
Upon winged stallion

Climbing to encircled sun
Breath taken away
Tunneled thru endless white
Brilliant clouds rising still

Horse flecked with foam
Flying into dark shadows
Cast upon sun-bleached heavens
Knowing only intimate life

Reaching cloud tops
Barely contain the joy
Sweeping up on high
Winged creature sublime

Cast a long shadow
Held by frothy thermals
Coasting floating flying
Upon winged perfection

© 2001 L. E. Shaffer

Hockey Puck
In only the eleventh seventh game of a Stanley Cup finals series, the Colorado Avalanche beat the defending world champions New Jersey Devils. Ray Bourque closed out his long and storied career by skating the Stanley Cup. This is something that everyone will remember the rest of their lives. Tiger Woods is slumping now with his third straight tournament out of the top ten. In a magical moment, Dale Earnhardt Jr. won the second NASCAR at Daytona in honor of his father who died in an innocent looking crash at the first race. The Florida Marlins are streaky winning a bunch and then losing a bunch in MLB. The NFL is dormant, and that is about as exciting they will be until possibly the next Super Bowl. In the NBA the Lakers are champs again, while Michael Jordan just might come back and play for the Washington Wizards. In tennis the Williams sisters are dominating most of the time. Otherwise, sports in the summer is lean, mean, and most often boring.

Guest Articles
We have several articles by Jackie. As always these articles are copyrighted respective artists listed.

Jackie:

Jackie provided us a crossword puzzle

ACROSS:

2. Any trick or scheme for achieving some purpose. (9)
7. Very bright star in the constellation of Lyra. (4)
9. Grigori Efimovich ........ (1871-1916), Russian mystic and faith healer. (8)
10. Russian vehicle drawn by three horses. (6)
11. Provincial capital of Ontario, Canada. (7)
14. Hard-shelled, edible, bivalve mollusk. (4)
16. Food fish of northern seas. (3)
17. Country person; rustic. (5)
18. Damage, disfigure. (3)
19. Soon; shortly. At another time. (4)
21. Church festival of annunciation, 25th March. (4,3)
23. Charm worn to protect against injury or evil. (6)
24. Poisonous shrub of the dogbane family, with fragrant flowers. (8)
26. Tiny particle of anything; jot. (4)
27. Edward ......... (1837-1902), U.S. novelist and historian. (9)

DOWN:

1. Any of various related small, dark sea birds. (6)
2. Prehistoric hill fort, traditional seat of Irish kings. (4)
4. Large, hoofed, hog like animal of tropical America and the Malayan peninsula. (5)
5. Stomach. (3)
6. Stringed musical instrument with a deep, rounded sound box. (8)
8. Statement universally accepted as true. (5)
11. Sweet, rich wine made in NE Hungary. (5)
12. River in central Europe, flowing north into the Baltic Sea. (4)
13. In Norse mythology, any of three goddesses who determined the destiny of gods and men. (4)
14. In Greek mythology, the Muse of eloquence and epic poetry. (8)
15. Dry and barren. (4)
16. State of deep and prolonged unconsciousness. (4)
19. East Caribbean island, capital, Oranjestad. (5)
20. State in NW U.S., capital, Salem. (6)
22. Alighieri ..... (1265-1321), Italian poet who wrote 'The Divine Comedy.' (5)
23. In Greek mythology, the ship on which Jason sailed to find the Golden Fleece. (4)
25. Unit of energy. (3)

PREVIOUS PUZZLE'S SOLUTION:

ACROSS:

1. Temporal 7. Intuit 8. Lon 9. Glen 10. Topaz 11. Pylon 14. Icon 17. Amur 19. Carob 21. Haha 23. Dodo
24. Argon 25. Snood 27. Hind 28. Lea 29. Caruso 30. Well said

DOWN:

1. Telepathy 2. Monolith 3. Organic 4. Lint 5. Utopia 6. Fizz 12. Moron 13. Greenland 15. Cad 16. Nod
18. Mongolia 20. Boabdil 22. Aeolus 25. Slat 26. Dhow

SEPTEMO PUZZLE (001):

Unscramble the seven, seven-lettered, words across. First letters from the correctly solved words will form a seven-lettered word reading downwards.

L I N I M O L . . . . . . .
E C T A D E U . . . . . . .
U G A B M O L . . . . . . .
P O R E T E A . . . . . . .
P R R E A D Y . . . . . . .
M I G A N I E . . . . . . .
T I C C K E R . . . . . . .

Sincerely,
Jackie

Copyright 2001 Jackie

The Mountains of Ao
Tears from Ao and three poetry collections, Pages of Life, Visions of Life, and Moments of Life are available electronically at http://RunesofAo.com/aobp/. The Runes of Ao project, The Mountains of Ao novel currently on chapter 16 of 22, and the The Book of Kalian Mysticism poetry collection are all works in progress. Also a collaboration with K. Young on a novella called Dragon Embers is now published on the fan site known as Runes of Ao.

The Dull Stuff
Inputs and letters to this journal are subject to approval by Ebony and Abby. Submittals may be edited for content and become the property for the one-time nonexclusive publication of:

Shaffer Novels/Poetry Company
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PO Box 501833
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Internet URLs: www.RunesofAo.com
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www.RunesofAo.com/ebony/
www.RunesofAo.com/abby/

Publication date: June 28, 2001
Author: L. E. Shaffer
Company: Shaffer Novels/Poetry Company &
Shaffer Internet Publishing Company
© 1995 - 2008, 2009 L. E. SHAFFER
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED WORLDWIDE
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