I Abby hab gingavitus or sum such vet fing. I eat hard cat food and eben the yummy nummies furr me tummy. Dose nummies are tartar control Pounce wif a yeller cat on dee front. Dem ymmies should knock dee gingavitus yuckies right off me fangs, but it not do it. Dangit. Now I gots dee human bean prying open me mouf with crowbars and lookee at me fangs. He say day all red and tender. I meows dat he furrrrrrrrrrrrrrry right!

So human bean knowing dee only soft food was dee Whiskas cut me and Ebony off for a few days. My mouf got better, but Ebony all mad cause she not getting her Whiskas. Ebony not hab gingavitus, but me finks she should git a load of yucky in her mouf sew human bean set on her prying her mouf open furr inspection. I did miss the Whiskas lots and lots and cried just a wittle bit. Bean say it was eedder dat or dee touf brush. Now I meow to you that I not going to stand furr no toothbrush in my mouf. Especially wif a human bean on dee udder end ub it. Maybe vet people hab sumfing to fix diss ebile gingavitus fingee?

I Ebony finks it bee berrrry funny watching human bean and Abby dancing around with a pet tooth brush. Mehehehe... It not furrrrry funny at tall when bean stopped serving Whiskas. I not go wifout Whiskas since I joined Kitty and human bean so berrrrrry long ago. Almost to dee beginning ub time, I spect. You nose, whenever anyfing happen unusually arounds hare, it usually Abby's fault. But I lubs her anymeow. She fun to chase and catnap wif. She like gib me a baf too but start biting me a bit after a while. I hab to wack her with me paw when she do dat. Abby jumps out at ya from funny places too. Got to be on your paws wif her.

Ice continue me lizard studies outside in dee hot hot sunny shine. Why do all dem lizards stay just outa ub reach of paw, claw, and fang? I alway git so berry close and den dee twenty foot lead keeps me from gitting me prize. I would get mad, but getting eben is better, I meow. Besides, getting eben will get you a yummy dinner from wolfing down lizards. Yummmm. You human beans oughta try lizard. It nice, tastee, and deliciously leathery.

NP & GeoShop
NP or NetPublishers has a new author listed now. She is SF novelist Sharon L. Reddy. We have contracted for eleven of her novels. Tony Spaar and I have put together Illustrated Tears from Ao, which is available at NP. All artists are welcome to submit their copyrighted works to be published, and all our customers are invited to purchase these fine works. The internet address or URL is as follows: http://RunesofAo.com/aobp/.

GeoCities GeoShops for their volunteer Community Leaders, of which I am one, is delayed tooling up for the conversion of all prepped regular websites. My GeoShop called AlphaOmega BookStore is at the special internet URL address of www.geocities.com/Area51/Nebula/7458/. The website is finished. All I have left to do is post the synopses and samples. I intend to sell all my literary works there mostly in electronic form. I was also able to contract a short novel from Senaka La Palme to be sold at my GeoShop. More good news for this is just around the corner. I know you all can't wait!

Internet Stuff
GeoCities gave all their Community Leaders ten shares of stock, which was a very nice gesture. I thought that it would be nice to own stock again and watch its ups and downs. I knew GeoCities IPO was around $14.00 or $15.00. So I was not too excited. I do thank GeoCities for this payment for all the volunteer work that I and other Community Leaders devote every day to all the homesteaders. Well, the IPO day has come and gone. I setup my investment account in my Quicken program. I used my update quote's feature and was very surprised to find that GeoCities stocks went from opening $14.00 a share to over $37.00 a share. GeoCities had given each Community Leader ten shares each. Even with the market so volatile, GeoCities did well, but only time and a long-term commitment will tell. One can only hope for a stock split!

I contracted at http://www.ebay.com for registration services for my four websites. For $25.00 total I got each of my websites registered with over 850 search engines and net listings. This is important in driving visitors to your site. Most people go to these services and listings to try to find what they are looking for. So I was happy with the services I contracted for and the agent that did the actual work. I will do it all again in three months. That is a lifetime on the internet!

Hockey News
Preseason is starting to get near. Camps for the players are opening up. Trades are getting hot. The first schedules exhibition game is very near. And Disney, ABC, ESPN, and Fox are all bidding on the television contract. All of this is very good news. We will start having more in this article when the pucks start flying over the boards in all directions to the farthest reaches of the rinks and arenas.

Bureaucratic Nightmares
I try very hard to keep my company business setup very simple. And it is all on the internet and my computer. It is easy to maintain and keeps the work down. I want to spend all my time writing not doing business. In an effort to improve my business and the service to my customers, I attempted to get a free business checking account at the TIB Bank right here in Marathon, Florida. The bank told me no problem. They would be most happy to have my business. All I needed was an occupational license, which is like a business license. As you might guess, it gets scary here.

I went over the Monroe County Tax Collector's Office. I had to register and report sales tax. Fair enough and it would only cost me $5.00. I had to register my fictitious name of my company. It can be L. E. Shaffer Novels/Poetry Company but not Shaffer Novels/Poetry Company without proper registration. I should have quit right here, but, no, I wanted to be punished some more. Anyway, that registration would cost $50.00, which is not cheap. The Occupational License would have cost $25.00. That was okay, but I also needed a Letter of Approval for Home Occupational from County Planning. With a name like County Planning I knew it was going to get awful really quickly.

But I went over to the County Buildings. I walked into the Planning Office, and everyone was very nice, but they had to look all the particulars up. I had to fill out a wad of paperwork. I had to provide among other fantastic things a legal description of the property [campground I am staying at], real estate number [huh?], copy of the lease, photos all sides of the property [wonder how I get the underground view?], site plan, floor plan [my fifth wheel?], permission of all property owners within 300 foot [two fisheries and a trailer park], written description of business operations, location map, Home Occupation Affidavit, post signs, generate newspaper articles, request a public hearing, and more too gruesome to list. All for $275.00, but I do all the work, of course!

All this for my business all contained on my computer and internet websites. Monroe County, I am sorry to say you lost a growing and prospering business. Are you really interested in scaring away businesses contained on computers and the internet? I was warned about Monroe County's weird rules and regulations, but I would not listen!

Poetry Corner
More from the new collection called Moments of Life:

"The Calling"
March 15, 1998

Oh, sweet long ago
In the warmth
Of a mother's love
Expectation so high

The calling comes
In a place sublimely
Between heaven and hell
And to be called

One step follows another
A moment of sanity
So sweetly spent
Oh, to be called

The calling comes
On swift thoughts
Minds ablaze
With destiny

And there the light
The dark so near
The calling
Stronger, ever stronger

Dazzled by blind faith
The calling begets
The enlightened followers
And the one called

Where does one begin
When is the ending of this
Eyes struck blind
From the knowing
The faithful calling

In The Park
I was not too sure what lobster season was all about. I don't fish or go "bugging" or anything like that. I sunbathe, swim, and admire the scenery. Apparently, there are two seasons that attract scores of visitors and boats. I hope they all like eating something that looks like an insect. Yuck.

Speaking of boats, I am still trying to get a live-aboard. I got close to a fine 36' but the bank was not interested in buying it for me. So I set my sights lower, but that turned out to be $25,000 for anything interesting. Used boats captured my attention and that might get me started. I think I will rent a small boat to enjoy and see the sights.

I talked Frank into going to a New York Ranger and Florida Panthers NHL game in Miami not that far away. He says he is looking forward to it. So am I. Now who do I root for?

"The Mountains of Ao"
Tears from Ao continue serialized each month in the Internet webzine (an electronic magazine) called The Outer Rim at the internet URL of www.geocities.com/Area51/Cavern/1225/Tears from Ao is also available electronically on the Internet at the web site called The Temporal Doorway StoreFront at the internet URL address of http://www.temporaldoorway.com. All my completed novels and poetry collections are available at NetPublishers. I am working hard on The Mountains of Ao chapter 11 of 22 chapters. Existing proofreaders please contact me via email/snail mail to arrange for quick delivery of the latest version of the novel. A new sample will be ready soon.

If you want to become a snail-mail proofreader, write to Larry Shaffer. I will send you a 3½ inch diskette (specify content format needed.) All others wanting to be proofreaders please apply via any of the email form linked below. Nondisclosure statements will be required for all.

The Dull Stuff
Inputs and letters to this journal are subject to approval by Ebony. All inputs may be edited for content and become the property of Shaffer Novels/Poetry Company.

The address follows:
Shaffer Novels/Poetry Company
PO Box 501833
Marathon, FL 33050-1833
(305) 743-9648 voice/fax [fax: voice call first]
(phone charges billed to callers)

Internet URLs: http://RunesofAo.com
http://RunesofAo.com/aobp/
http://RunesofAo.com/ebony/
http://RunesofAo.com/abby/

Publication date: August 1998
Author: L. E. Shaffer
Company: Shaffer Novels/Poetry Company &
Shaffer Internet Publishing Company
© 1995 - 2008, 2009 L. E. SHAFFER
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED WORLDWIDE
PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
FIRST PRINTING; ELECTRONIC & PRINT MEDIA