 The Shaffer Journal
Volume 5 Issue 7 July 1999
I am Abby. I meow good stuff to our human bean. He is a good egg, but he sure is amusing sometimes. He dee strangest bird I eber seed. He hab no feathers, but he chirpy happy all dee time. Ebony meows he is irritating. I not fink so doe. To be happy is not irritating. I is happy all dee time too. Dat Ebony not nose nuthin. Eggscept lizards and outside. This month journal hab some news about our websites and some poems plus Cat Chats. We lucky to hab such good friends who come to read and gib us articles and fings like dat. Be happy now... These journals are dedicated to Kitty GreyCat's spirit. She at RainBow Bridge now. We all loved you, Kitty! Click the cat graphic below to visit Kitty's Memorial page.
Kitty Talk
 Kitty born June 6, 1982. Died July 9, 1997.
Diss is Ebony! Our paw diary and journal is going to now include all the subscribers to What's New which used to meow about all da stuffers on all ub our web pages. Now it will be right hare under dat Internet Stuff article fingee dawn dare berow somewhares. Hare now is all birfdays, anniversaries, and holidazes: Devin K. birfday is August 1, Priscilla 4, Jimmie M. 5, Ines B. 12, Jim M. 12, Kyrie S. 18, Rhonda S. 21, and Cyrstal S. 25. Dat's all now. I Abby gonna reports on our annual visit to the vet. I knew something was up cause dee bean start up dee truck monster fing. I started losing me furr and hid. But bean got me and Ebony. We fight going into vet bean place. I let out some wild, mournful yeows. Dee vet bean come running to see what happened. He sure surprised I making dee noises. I got stuck by nasty needle fing. Ebony hissed and growled but she got stuck too. We made dee vet beans happy. I gained a pound and Ebony lost two! And my mouf yuckies are all gone. No more ginger vitis making me gums red and swollen up wike badly. I Abby like being sneakee under da rug. Bean not like how I wad it up and stuff, but he accepts it as my lot in life to aggravate him. I like doing it too. And, poor me, I is still addicted to toy on string. All dee hide and furr gone into da litter, but dee toy still drive me crazier dan dem squirrlies on hickory nuts. I Ebony addicted to outside and dem yummy gecko lizards two. Eben when I inside furr dee evening, I bee wooking outside from one of our many winders. I got to keep an eye on me huge cat domain. Dem dawgs and toms are obnoxious and need watching by me, I meow. And a lizard might come outta hiding, you neeber nose. Finally, I learned big lesson on waspies. I used to pounce on dem making Abby and human bean say I going to git stung. Well, I fought day wrong as rain, but one finally got me. I not meow to no one doe. But next time a waspie come frying in close I run run RUN away. Human bean and Abby saw diss and knew right away dat I had learned a life lesson on waspies. YEOW, day can hurt ya sum, I meow dat surely . . . >^..^< Internet Stuff
From now on the first paragraph of this regular article will include the what's new part of our websites. We will include live links so you can go on the Internet and go ooooo and ahhhhh. We finally got our domain name up at this great URL of www.RunesofAo.com, but there is a lot of work to do there yet. Give us some time and it will be our flagship website. There are only minor things going at our Runes of Ao fan website. New awards and this journal, of course, but we are working on simplifying navigation at www.geocities.com/les_novelist. The cats put up some more of their stories and amusing meows at www.geocities.com/EnchantedForest/Glade/8420 and www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Breakers/5493. Our bookstore is becoming AlphaOmega Bookstore & Publisher at www.geocities.com/maniac77.geo. WIN98SE installation woes were worth the trouble. Windows 98 Second Edition packs all the new stuff onto one CDROM. You don't have to reload the original operating system and then install a bunch of patches you got online. There are some really nifty improvements in speed and reliability too. When the installation routine was installing the plug and play [PNP] hardware, it would just stop. I called Kerry the Microsoft technician who was very good. We figured out that my non-PNP extra parallel port was the problem. I removed that to install WIN98SE and it worked! Corel WordPerfect Office 2000 technical support was less than helpful. My thesaurus, mail, and fax add-ins did not work properly. The thesaurus would not work with some other applications. The mail and fax needed to fallback to the old Microsoft Exchange and Fax. The printer HP1100 applications did not work for the same reasons. They should work with new stuff. Microsoft Office is looking better and better. It is a shame too since I have been using WordPerfect for so very long, but they snoozed and they lose! I installed the Spectra 333 processor upgrade to increase the speed of my computer. Everything worked except I couldn't get anything on my monitor. Spectra's Rhonda saved the day by sending me a patch that fixed the CMOS for my Dell system. I installed FrontPage 2000, Access 2000, and HP1100Ase Printer with little problem so far. But the UPS battery went bad according to the alarm I got. I called technical support. They told me to turn everything off and let it charge before replacing the big battery. I did that, and it worked quite well. Yahoo!GeoCities changed their Terms of Service [TOS] three times before everyone there calmed down. Basically, before the changes, Yahoo!GeoCities would have owned everything on member home pages, every web page on the site. Hockey Puck
The NHL is adding four new franchises which will make the league more competitive. Last year saw the Nashville Predators debut. This year the Atlanta Thrashers come onto the stage. For the 2000-2001 season you will see the Columbus [Ohio] Bluejackets and the Minnesota Wild join the NHL. Uncle Union Don
My Aunt Juanita, one of my father's sisters, married a wonderful man long ago. And they did live mostly happily ever after. I called him my Uncle Union Don as it was a running joke. He along with my father had many talks about workers, Japan, unions, and other things worth discussing. Uncle Don was a Navy veteran. We shared that in common. He had a love for books as well. Uncle Don told me he read the book I wrote and liked it. Not many in my family had done that. I was very pleased he told me. He was a good man. He became diabetic years ago, and slowly it got worse. I couldn't bare to see it happen and did not visit as often as I should. My father called a week ago to tell me that Uncle Don was dead. Now that long, last visit can't happen. Goodbye, Uncle Union Don. All of us will miss you a lot! Poetry Corner
"Shared Embers"
July 27, 1999
A lifetime ago
Memories now dim
Photographs dusted
Two became friends
And the sharing
Began anew
Bright future yet
Time would win
They healed each other
And their love spread
Without even trying
A family came together
And members
Drew ever closer
Friendships and love
Life full of sharing
Not lost on me
As observed
As heard
As shared
Then age and life
Began to wear
Slowly at first
And still they shared
At the last
Only the love
Remained warm
As shared embers . . .
My Friend
by J.AnitaWilson
My friend, is sitting next to me
Gazing at me with her eyes
Trying to get even closer
So that I can gently stroke her
My friend, is sitting next to me
Waiting very patiently
To see if I will look at her
And very softly say her name
My friend, is sitting next to me
Purring at me very loudly
Waiting for a touch from me
Giving true and loyal friendship
My friend, is sitting next to me
Hoping I will pick her up
And hold her very close to me
My friend, my little Burmese Cat
Copyright 1999 J.AnitaWilson
Sahrinn
by J.AnitaWilson
Today I laid my friend to rest
In a special place he loved so much
He used to watch the birds from there
Pretending he was a great hunter
Today I laid my friend to rest
Knowing he will be peaceful there
Under the tree, he loved to climb
Pretending he was a mountaineer
Today I laid my friend to rest
I have planted Catnip where he lies
The plants do not look very straight
I watered them with many tears
Today I laid my friend to rest
It was very hard to say goodbye
To never have him beside me again
Or have his blue eyes look at me
Today I laid my friend to rest
Tonight I cry with a breaking heart
Tomorrow I will remember with love
My Sahrinn, my Siamese Friend
Copyright 1999 J.AnitaWilson In The Park
I had the opportunity to dine at the famous Deadhead George Mexican Grille. The big plus is that everything is home made. The service is homey as well. The interior is rustic and topical. The food is excellent, but it won't taste like Taco Bell. It is actually much better than that. Give it a try and see for yourself. There are some spicy items too! That famous duo known far and wide as Mike and Kelly are renovating again. Of course, that is not really noteworthy as I cannot remember a time they weren't tearing something out, rebuilding this, planting that, watering over there, moving trees over here, and even helping out neighbors. I just love walking by their lovely place and seeing what might be the next wonder. Hey, who needs a rain forest anyway! For the longest time I had stopped playing Lotto. I had been tired of buying a weekly ticket and being disappointed. You see, I thought I would win right away. Lately, I figured out I would never win, if I did not plop down a sawbuck. Haven't won yet. The dragonflies are back. Actually, I see nothing dragonish about the insects. Speaking of insects, lobsters are the insects of the sea. And so I can see why bug season would be known by that unlikely name. How can anyone eat something that looks and acts like an insectile bug? I would think that melted butter on a full, yellowed corn cob would be so much more useful. I tried the spiny thing once and it was so chewy and tasteless. I must have missed something. Plus don't those things get unruly when you try to boil them alive? Did you see the one that stole that beer on television? Wasn't that awful? Bug season also brings out more boats. If you are one for a peaceful anchor amongst the lobster traps, don't be discouraged by boats zipping this way and that and even skimpily-clad figures skiing by or snorkeling on a rope. Those jet things are buzzing about worse than the Keys skitters you can't squash because they are an endangered species. Then there are those itty bitty black-looking insects that are so tiny that they look like black specks of something or other. And you just know you don't want one of those in your ear, nose, or HORROR flying into your mouth. They are salty by the way! Then try to make a left-hand turn onto US1 and not be at a stop light. During the lull between spiny things and Hemingway, it is just ordinarily aggravating to cross US1. During the entire winter and the spiny thing season, it is utterly impossible. When you decide to heck with it, you can't back up because of all the traffic behind you and turning right would be okay if there was an opening for a pop-in into the Key West auto train. I have grown ten years older waiting to move onto US1, really! Well, I am just trying to be funny. A hearty welcome to all you spiny visitors and good luck. Guest Meows!
 This is Larry for Ariel. She and her two cats, Harry and Emily, gave us some wonderful Cat Chat articles this month. We are gratified that we can offer this regular article about some wonderful cats and their human bean with visits by a dragon! Please visit the Memorial Page for Ariel's mother. Click the cat wagging its tail graphic to visit their net home. Thank you. Now here is Harry and Emily with Cat Chat:
Cat Chat [6-2-99]
Harry: Well, Mom went off and left us, like we spected her too. She's gone to see Ebony and Abby's bean down in Florida.
Emily: An we be not happy bout it atall, fur sure!
Harry: We sure don't! We miss her something awful. She isn't here to let us in and out and in and out...
Emily: Nor brush us nor scritch us...
Harry: Or fill my milk bowl up every hour...
Emily: Nor put us out extra crunchies and Yum-yums when we's run out...
Harry: Or snuggle or kiss us..
Emily: I don't miss dat part! I don't like to be snuggled and kissed!
Harry: Well, I do, and I miss laying in her lap and snuggling and stuffers like that.
Chester: Grandpa bean is taking care of us.
Emily: Yeah, but all he do is put out food fur us twicet a day an den leab us.
Harry: He let us out and in a little, but it's just not the same. I'm gonna bite Mom's foot as soon as she gets back!
Chester: No, you won't. You'll both be so happy to have her back that you'll love all over her...after she feeds you!
Harry: Well, you're probably right bout that, Chester. But she deserve to have her foot bit.
Emily: Anyways, Mom showed Chester how to turn on the puter so as we could do our column, an also too how to use da mote control fur da tb.
Harry: That's right! So, we all been watching TV together. And so the other night, we saw this show, and they had this thing they called a Top Ten List.
Emily: Yeah! It were a list ob tings dat were all bout a certain subjek, an it were sposed to be funny.
Chester: It was pretty funny, actually.
Harry: It was, cept we didn't know furry well what they was talking bout. But anyways, we decided that we would make our own Top Ten List.
Emily: Yeah! It be called da Top Ten Tings we's doin while Mom be away!
Harry: Cept we came up with fifteen things stead of ten. So, here is out Top Fifteen List Of Things We're Doing While Mom's Gone:
Emily: Number 15-Ruffle up all da trow rugs downside up and sideways.
Chester: Number 14-Leave on the TV all day and all night.
Harry: Number 13-Knock over all the couch pillows and make cat-dents in the throws...
Emily: An tunnel under da trows too!
Harry: Right!
Emily: Number 12--Leab furbits all ober da carpet what Mom jus vacuumed wid dat nasty vacuum monster thingy.
Harry: Number 11--Take over Mom's computer chair and make it mine again.
Number 10--Shed all over Mom's pillows.
Emily: Number 9--Claw the furna-shure real extra good.
Chester: Number 8--Eat all of Mom's chocolate.
Harry: Number 7--Jump on the bookshelves and knock all the books down.
Emily: Number 6--Get our feets wet, dan run round till they be dirty like, then jump up on da counters and leab dirty paw prints all ober da place!
Harry: Number 5--Knock over our water bowl and watch the water run across the kitchen floor.
Emily: Number 4--Jump up on da headboard an pull off alla Mom's stuffed nanimals and eat dem.
Harry: Number 3--Get Chester to help us get into the cat food cupboard and open the Yum-yum bags.
Emily: Number 2--Bolt outta da door as soon as grandpa bean be ready to leab.
Harry: And the number 1 thing we're doing while Mom is away:
Throw up hairballs on the comforter!
Chester, Harry, and Emily: Heehee, haha, mweeeheehee, merowwwhaheeeee!
Harry: Well, as yous can see, we got lots of stuffers to do before Mom gets home, so we better get to it! See all you kitties and beans next week!
Emily: Bye! I'm gonna go knock ober some books...
Chester: And I'm going to get into the chocolate! Heehee!
Cat Chat [6-9-99]
Harry: Well, Mom is finally home.
Emily: Yeah. We was beginning to tink we'd neber see her eber again!
Harry: We did a real good job giving grandpa bean a hard time. He hardly got to see me atall. But finally I got lonely-like and let him pet me some.
Emily: I scaped from da house most ebery night, and grandpa bean couldn't get me to come in, so I gots to stay out all night long. Dat were fine wid me, cause da weather, it's been furry nice lately. The nights are just purrfect fur kitties to be out. Oh! And I made sure and coated my favorite rug wid cat hair all over so dat when Mom came home she could hardly tell it was a rug atall! Heehee!
Chester: And I ate all the chocolate in the house. Except now Mom says she's not buying me anymore chocolate...(sniff).
Harry: Oh, she'll buy more. Mom don't ever go too long without chocolate! Anyway, it sure is nice having her back. I been spending lots of time snuggling with her. I missed her bunches and bunches.
Emily: Me too. It is furry nice to hab Mom to lub on us agin. I hope she neber neber goes off an leabs us agin. Not eber.
Chester: I wouldn't count on that, but she says she's had enough traveling to last her a long while.
Emily: What's almost as good as Mom coming home is that she brought us back some neat stuffers!
Harry: Yes, she brought us some fun things to play with. See, she stopped at the space ship place in Florida where they go to the moon, and she got the beans there to give her some moon mousies fur us!
Chester: She did not stop at the space center! The drive was too long as it was. Those things are just cat toys.
Emily: They is not! They be real moon mousies! Any kitty would nose dat!
Chester: They aren't! They don't even look like real mice!
Harry: Of course they do! They have ears and tails and everything.
Chester: They're the wrong color. Mice aren't purple and green.
Emily: How does you nose what moon mousies is sposed to looks like? Why, I wouldn't spect dem to be gray and brown like Earth mousies. Day all growed up on da moon, after all things!
Chester: They're cat toys, I tell you! They don't even move!
Harry: Of course they move. See? (pawing a mouse)
Chester: You made it move. It didn't move on its own.
Emily: Day jus be a little slow is all. It cause ub da grabity. See, da moon, it hab no grabity, but here we hab grabity so da moon mousies is all heavy and move real real slow.
Harry: Exactly! See, Chester, you think you know everything, but you didn't know bout gravity.
Chester: I give up!
Emily: Mom brought us a couple of lizards too, what our email friend Ebony lub to eat. But they isn't furry good to chew on. They be kinda hard and crinkly like.
Harry: That's cause Mom had to keep them in the glove compartment and they dried out cause the car was so hot. Maybe we can get Ebony's bean to send us some fresh lizards sometime.
Emily: That would be fun! I'd lub to be able to chase and eat a lizard like Ebony be always talking bout. Deese lizards aren't furry tasty.
Chester: Oh, and the mice taste good? (snicker)
Harry: They taste just fine! Not like Earth mousies, course, but they're furry good.
Chester: You cats are just pretending. You know those are just toys.
Emily: Yous jus jealous cause Mom didn't bring you nothin!
Chester: She did too! She brought me a shell that I can hear the ocean in.
Harry: Mom bought that fur herself, not fur you!
Chester: She did not! She got it for me!
Emily: Did not!
Chester: Did too!
Emily: Did not!
Chester: Did...
Harry: Wait! K ok! We'll agree the shell is yours if you stop saying our mousies aren't real.
Chester: Welllll...ok. The mice are real. And the shell is mine! All mine!
Emily: Is it just me, or is Chester getting weirder as he gets older?
Harry: I think Mom is rubbing off on him. Heehee!
Emily: Well, I'm all meowed out. Let's make Mom play da in da door out ub da door game.
Harry: That's a good idea. We didn't get to play that anywhere near nuff when Mom was gone. Bye eveybody. Maybe if yous kitties are good, your bean will go to Florida and bring you some moon mousies too!
Chester: Well, if we're through typing, I'm going to go listen to my shell.
Emily (over her shoulder): Bye eberyone. Come on Harry, let's go!
Cat Chat [6-16-99]
Emily: Mom an me had lots ub fun dis mornin! See, I heped her change da sheets, an...
Harry: Emily! That's not what we's gonna talk bout!
Emily: But we did hab fun! Mom pulled da sheets offin da bed and throwed dem on da floor, and den I tunneled under dem, see...
Chester: Emily, we do have a subject.
Emily: But I want to talk bout dis, cause it were so fun! So, like I said, I tunneled under da sheets and den Mom, she played...
Harry: Emily!
Emily: She played hand be da prey trew da sheets, and I play growled and tackded her an we both laughed and laughed. I lubs to play hand be da prey, specially when Mom don't go Ouch Ouch too much. An I lubs to tunnel under stuffers...
Chester: We know you do. Are you finished now?
Emily: Wellllll...yes, I guess so. Why?
Chester: Because we're going to talk about that bean...I mean human! I'm spending too much time with you cats...
Emily: Here! Is we rubbing off gainst yous? Anyway, what bean?
Harry: Claws and tails, Emily, sometime I thinks you have mush tween your ears like some slobbery doggie! That bean what has been coming over so much lately!
Emily: Oh, dat bean. He seem nice. I eben let him pet me oncet.
Harry: But that's not the point, Em. It's when he came over. Don't you member this morning?
Emily: Yes. I played hand be da prey wid Mom!
Harry: No! Before that! That bean come over before even we were finished being fed breakfast! Nobody ever does that!
Emily: Grandpa bean does, sometime. But it were purrty strange, habing dis bean what hab only just suddenly bin comin ober come ober so early like...
Harry: It sure was. Grandpa bean come ober sometime that early, but it only to drop off stuffers like newspapers and laundry and stuffers like that. No one ever comes just to visit when Mom and us first get up.
Emily: Girlfriend bean used to be here in da morning sometime.
Chester: But that was when she'd spend the night. Then she'd feed us before Mom got up.
Harry: Egg-xactly! It's not like girlfriend bean atall.
Emily: At least he didn't smell up da house wid a bunch ub does nasty smoky sticks right first when we got up, like girlfriend used to. Like I say, he seem purrty nice. What eber happen to girlfriend bean, anyways?
Chester: Mom and she aren't talking anymore.
Emily: Oh, dat's right. I forgoted. So, does we tink maybe dis bean be da new girlfriend bean?
Harry: He can't be the new girlfriend bean. He's a man bean!
Emily: Well, yeah, but Mom owned da unhusband bean before, an he were a man. At least dis man bean don't go clump clump all ober da floor when he walk, eben tho he be a purrty big bean.
Harry: That's true. He don't wear clumpy kinda shoes. And you are right bout one thing, Em. He does seem purrty nice. He petted me a bunch, and even liked me sitting on his lap when him and Mom was sitting on the couch the other night. But it still is furry strange, having this new bean come over so much so sudden like.
Chester: Well, you know Mom is pretty crazy. I don't think you two brought her up right.
Emily: It be Harry's fault! He bin round here way way longer dan me!
Harry: It's not my fault! Mom was crazy even before I was borned. But I think maybe Emily bite the doggie on the tail sorta.
 Emily: What does yous mean, Harry?
Harry: Well, I don't know, but I think maybe that we might be seeing lots of this new bean, like we used to girlfriend.
Emily: Dat's ok. We jus hab to train him to feed us Yum-yums and den eberyting will be ok.
Chester: He already gave me some chocolate...
Emily: Dat's cause you be a big blue beggar, Chester!
Chester: It never hurts to ask! Heehee!
Emily: Well, so, I guess dar might be some more changes round here. I guess we's just gonna hab to get used to it. Mom be jus a changin kinda bean.
Harry: Yeah, but I wish she wouldn't do it all at oncet! The new desk was enuff change fur lots of moons! I was just now getting used to that!
Emily: Well, like I say, long as he feed us Yum-yums...
Chester: And chocolate!
Emily: He be ok. Beans isn't so hard to get used to as smelly desks.
Harry: I guess you're right. I'll have to show him where my milk is. Wait! What's that? I hear the driveway going crunch crunch. Could it be?
Emily (looking out the window): It is! He's back! I tink I were right all long. He do be da new girlfriend bean!
Cat Chat [6-23-99]
Emily: Well, tings hab quietended down a bits dis week. Da new friend bean hab bin ober a couple ub time...
Harry: And one night Mom spent the night away from home and didn't come home to feed us or let us out til much too late!
Emily: True. But oder dan dat, tings be back to normal in our cozy house.
Harry: I'm getting used to the new desk. It doesn't smell bad anymore, so I like to sit on it and help Mom with her work.
Emily: And da weather it bin nice, so as I bin out an huntin an stuffers like dat a lot.
Chester: Don't forget, Mom got back our puter and it's working ever so much better than it ever did.
Harry: Oh, yeah, I most forgot that Mom had to put our puter in the shop a couple of days. But like Chester said, it's working so so much better. Better, Mom says, even than when it was new. She thinks that they sold her a puter with a bad motherboard, since that's what she had to replace, and she always had trouble with it, but it's out of warranty now.
Emily: What do "warranty" mean?
Chester: It means that the company that Mom bought the computer from might have paid for the new motherboard she had to buy, except the warranty was only for a year, right?
Harry: That's what Mom says. Anyway, she's not mad bout it or nothin. She's just glad to have it working so good.
Chester: So, since everything's so calm, what are you cats planning to talk about this week?
Harry: Em and me was thinking bout talking bout what our jobs are around here, and what we do fur fun.
Emily: Dat's right! Us kitties hab furry important jobs to do round here, yous nose.
Chester: My only jobs are to guard the computer and help with the typing.
Harry: Well, you might get other jobs as you get bigger. So since you started, what do you do fur fun?
Chester: Oh! Well, I watch TV, and I eat chocolate, and I read Mom's mail, and I watch you cats play and do crazy things!
Emily: Heehee! It fun to do crazy tings sometime! But that aren't our jobs.
Harry: No, not atall. Our most important job is to patrol our territory and keep it safe from slobbery doggies and nasty kitties what don't belong here.
Emily: That's your main job. Mine is to hunt and catch all the mousies and moleses I can so Mom don't get mousies in da house!
Harry: Hum, yes, that's true. That used to be my job, but it's nice that you're doing it now. I have so much else to do.
Chester: Like what?
Harry: Oh, I gotta make sure that everything's ok inside the house. And keep the squirrels and boidies ofen the porch. An I gotta guard our puter desk and chair and think up stuffers fur our column.
Chester: I guard the puter!
Harry: Yes, but I guard the desk and the chair.
Chester: That's only because you like to sleep in the chair!
Harry: So? That's part of a kitty's job too.
Chester: Sleeping??!!
Emily: Ub course, silly. We gots to sleep all ober da house so as it will stay smelling like our territory. Plus we have to put down cat hair and fur bits all ober to make da house cozy and nice.
Chester: That doesn't sound like much of a job. You'd do that anyway.
Harry: Just cause we'd do it anyway doesn't mean it's not a cat job. Our Momma cats told us that!
Emily: Dat's right! So there! An sides, all dat sleepin and shedding be eggsaustin!
Harry: It sure is! Sometime I have to sleep extra just to recover from all the sleeping round the house I've been doing!
Chester: That's just plain silly!
Emily: Maybe, but it's a cat's job!
Chester: I think you're just making all this up!
Emily: Am not! Anyway, we hab oder jobs too!
Chester: Like what?
Emily: Well, one furry important job is to turn all da throw rugses ober and ruck dem all up.
Chester: You do that for fun!
Harry: Just because it's fun doesn't mean it's not our job!
Chester: That must mean eating chocolate is one of my jobs!
Harry: No, not atall. Yous missing the point. You eat chocolate only fur fun. Just like I chase my tail only fur fun...
Emily: Eben doe it make Mom laff, so it be kinda a job...
Harry: Well, that's true. Making Mom laffing and happy is part of our job, but I really chase my tail fur fun. I chase Emily fur fun too, and even tho it makes Mom laff, it's not really a job. Cept when Emily is annoying me!
Emily: When does I eber annoy yous?
Harry: Alla time. Specially when you don't want to play! Heehee!
Emily: Oh! You! Yous a silly kitty, Harry.
Harry: Being silly is part of a kitty's job too! And it's fun! But I have another furry important job. It's my job to snuggle with Mom when she naps.
Emily: Dat be true. She always meow fur you. An it be my job to walk up on her chest an wake her up in da mornin.
Harry: Absolutely! That's a furry important job indeed! Ifn you didn't do that, she might never get up, and then where would we be? She's so used to my meowing that it don't wake her up atall anymore!
Chester: Wow! Here I thought you cats were just playing around and being lazy, but you really do work hard! Maybe I need to do more stuff around here.
Emily: Well, dar's always stuff to do, Chester. Jus look round. I bet yous can find somethin more to do.
Chester: I think I will!
Harry: Well, while you're thinking bout it, I'm gonna go find a place to nap.
Emily: And I'm gonna go huntin. Bye Chester. Bye Eberybody!
Cat Chat [6-30-99]
Emily: Well, Mom hab started her War Wid Da Ants agin.
Chester: Again? How often does she do this?
Harry: Every year. She knows that she won't never win the war. But she keeps fighting anyways.
Emily: She keeps telling me how I should eat da ants as day crawl on da floor, but they is no fun to chase. They is too small and too slow.
Harry: She talks bout call in the sertminater but she's afraid that the stuff they use will make us kitties sick.
Emily: So instead she jus sprays dis nasty smelly stuffers all ober da place. Da oder day she sprayed it under da bafroom sink an behind da toilet an by da tub, an also under da kitchen sink an behind da frigerdater an under da stove an washing machine an dryer. It were horrible smelly stuffers!
 Chester: I heard Mom say that she had bought the unscented stuff because she thought it wouldn't smell bad, but it smelled worse than the stuff they call scented! I don't understand that. Why would they call something unscented that smells so bad?
Harry: I don't nose, but I do nose that Mom says she's buying the scented stuff next time. Anyways, she'd opened all the windows, and after she sprayed everywhere, she lit up some of her scented candles so as the house didn't smell so bad. And then the smell went away pretty fast.
Emily: But den da next day, she had to spray more yucky stuffers behind our desk, cause da ants was comin up on da desk! Nasty little thingys! They's oughta be a better way to stop dem from coming into our house!
Harry: Mom has tried everything over the years cept the sertminater. Nothing works but fur a little while.
Emily: I don't know why she's so upset bout dem ants anyways. Day don't gets into our food or notin. Cept what be in our bowls.
Harry: Yeah, but they get into da pantry where her food is ifn she don't stop them for they get there, and they crawl all over her clean dishes too! She really hates that! She specially hates to find an ant what is in a glass of soda what she just poured fur herself!
Emily: I don't get it. I don't mind an ant or two in my food! It gives it a little eggstra flavor! Besides, bugs taste good!
Harry: Beans are funny bout that. They don't like no bugs in their food no way no how. They don't think they taste good atall, Mom says, cept some weird beans what eat fried grasshoppers and stuffers like that!
Emily: Fried grasshoppers! Why would any bean fry a grasshopper? They is jus great when day is live and hopping round still!
Chester: I'm with Mom. I don't want ants or any other bugs in my chocolate! We dragons are much more fastidious than you cats are!
Emily: That not be true atall! Kitties be da most fastidiousest peoples dar eber be!
Chester: Yeah, right. That's why you eat bugs and mice and other nasty things.
Harry: Mousies aren't nasty! They are yummy!
Chester: They are nasty dirty vermin.
Emily: They is not! They is purrfect complete nutritional stuffers fur kitties.
Chester: That may be so, but they are still dirty. I read all about it, how they spread diseases and stuff.
Harry: You're just jealous cause you don't get to go out and hunt for yourself.
Chester: Am not!
Emily: Are too!
Chester: I get to go out! I go out and lay in the sun. But I'll leave the hunting up to you cats. I prefer food that doesn't move while I'm eating it.
Emily: Wimp! Heeheehee!
Chester: I don't care. I'm not eating any mice or bugs, and neither is Mom.
Harry: Well, it's ok fur Mom. Beans are strange like that. I thought you dragons were made from sterner stuffers than that!
Chester: You're not going to get a rise out of me, Harry. It doesn't take being brave to eat mice. It takes not caring what one eats!
Emily: I cares what I eats furry much! An I lubs eating mousies and moleses and boidies too!
Chester: (sigh) Each to their own.
Emily: He's a wimp, Harry.
Harry: No, I think it's just that he's a dragon. Only kitties can preciate how good things like mousies and boidies and bugs are.
Chester: But we've gotten way off the subject. Mom sprayed, so that's the end of the War With The Ants, right?
Harry: (sigh) Fraid not. She put down some ant trapses, but that will only keep them away fur a while. Then she has to do it all over again.
Chester: Yuck! I'll have to be sure to be outside sunning next time!
Emily: Me too!
Harry: Me three! Hopefully the nasty ants will stay away fur a good few moons for Mom has to spray again.
Emily: I hope so. I hate dis War Wid Da Ants. I hates da cold weather, too, but at least there isn't no yucky ant spray in da winter.
Harry: Nor any flea goo on our necks neither!
Emily: There jus gotta be a better way to get rid of deese bugeses what want to take ober our house. Chester, you should try to read a way to get rid of dem fur us.
Chester: That's a good idea. I love to look up stuff when Mom's not using the puter. I'll see what I can find.
Harry: Good! Maybe ifn yous find a good way to get rid of bugs, Mom won't have to spray no more.
Chester: I'll get right on it, then...as soon as Mom lets me use the puter again. She's wanting to finish updating her webpage now.
Emily: Well, dat do be important. But yous hab time, I tinks. Jus let us nose when yous find sometin.
Chester: I will, for sure! Anything to stop that smelly ant spray!(c) copyright 1999 Ariel, Harry, Emily, and Chester the Dragon "The Mountains of Ao"
Tears from Ao and two poetry collections, Pages of Life and Visions of Life, are available electronically at NetPublishers and www.geocities.com/maniac77.geo/. The Runes of Ao project, the novel The Mountains of Ao, and a new poetry collection titled Moments of Life are in progress. Proofreaders contact us via email/snail mail for latest versions. If you want to become a proofreader, write or email us using the appropriate addresses listed below. Nondisclosure statements will be required for all. The Dull Stuff
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Internet URLs: http://RunesofAo.com
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http://RunesofAo.com/abby/ Publication date: July 1999
Author: L. E. Shaffer
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