The Shaffer Journal
Volume 5 Issue 10 October/November 1999
[Internet Stuff] [Hockey Puck] [Guest Meows! Cat Chat 1 2 3 4]
[The Mountains of Ao] [Poetry Corner] [The Dull Stuff] [Guest Articles] [In The Keys]

Kitty Talk
These journals are dedicated to Kitty GreyCat's spirit. She is at RainBow Bridge now. We all loved you, Kitty! Click the cat graphic to visit her Memorial page. Kitty born June 6, 1982. Died July 9, 1997.

We have changed the way we date our issues. The date now reflects the month of publication. This will not affect subscribers, and there is no loss of issues.

Diss is Abby. This month we gonna wow you with lots of stuff. Dare eben some boidees in it too. Let me meow at you. Let me smell. Otay, we got dem wonderful Cat Chats by Ariel, Harry, Emily, and dat Chester who is a dragon, you nose. We got Katje with her enchanting dragon poems. Den dare dat ole hockey stuffers and eben some wild fings in dat Keys stuffers fingee. And our human bean still spinning poems from his mind which is full of webs. And I not mean internet webs, hehe... Meowing about internet stuffers, our human bean put sumfings dare in dat article which will curl your toes and paws. Hare now is all birfdays, anniversaries, and holidazes: We became Florida residents November 1^st, Election Day 2^nd, Veterans Day and Remembrance Day 11^th, Aunt Lee birthday 15th, Thanksgiving Day 25^th. Dem all purrity special days, I mew.

I am Ebony and I get to meow at you about all diss eggscitement me and Abby got to meow about. What it about? It about new fings! Since we live in da Florida Keys from now on, we need our Keys address and phone number on eberry fing. Sew human bean called dees people who do dat stuff. We got new collars, tags, and leashes with our name and stuff on each ub dem as purritty as you peas. Ub course, I got all bwack stuffers causing I is bwack. Abby got all white stuffers causing she is white and a big old pesky pest! She really is a pain for real!

I is not! Me Abby beginning to like being outside. But only if Ebony or human bean is outside too. I just too scaredy cat by meshelf. Dawgs, cars, trucks, and strange human peoples make me skittish. I watch Ebony and human bean walking around with Ebony on a leash. I tried it and liked to go new places, but I still a scaredy cat. It better dan being a dumb mutt dawg. I am also becoming more like a momma kitty. But Ebony don't want me to momma her! Ebony gave me her lizard, but I was more interested in a bug, then lizard, then boids, then I eat lizard. I also like to jump up into high places, help empty out grocery bags, help unpack chicken, and I sometimes attack the stuffed mouse I have. You see, I been sew busy!

I am Ebony and have been called the grouch. I just want to do my own things and not have Abby or human bean in my busiwaxes. Now I did give a lizard to Abby, but I wanted it back. But she ate it! Now that's not fair. I like boids landing close and hip hopping close to my mouth, but I never catch one yet. Another cat thought about invading my territory around the fifth wheel travel trailer, but didn't because I am a furrocious cat. I like my new tag, collar, and leash. But being tied up makes zig zagging as a mighty huntress quite hard to do. I don't mind pee out in open now. I used to be so dainty, but when you gotta go you gotta go. I just not like how there is nothing to scratch to cover up. I have to admit that I attack stuffed mouse once or twice, but I won't anymore. I got to teach Abby that we need to be finicky and mysterious.

Internet Stuff
What's new on our webs? We are filling out the rest of our pages and preparing to copy the old Runes of Ao site content to our main site called Runes of Ao.com. The commercial site is called AlphaOmega Bookstore & Publisher [AOB&P] which is a combo of our old site called NetPublishers and the old but updated AlphaOmega BookStore & Publisher websites. We are almost done with filling out the new pages at the new and improved AOB&P. We have improved the load times of many different pages at the old Runes of Ao site. We also added a Front Page 2000 Table of Contents section to the old site. Ebony and Abby sites need to be updated and reworked. Our millennium webs are at Heartland and Athens GeoCities addresses. We still want to add some unique artwork to these pages soon. There's just not enough time to do all we want to do!

Yahoo!GeoCities internet company has terrible technical support. Down time is awful especially during weekends. Rollout of new features is sure to break the servers. What was Yahoo thinking when they bought GeoCities? One would assume that Yahoo must have known how to conduct such a merger, but at every step Yahoo has made it a terrible adventure of frustration and what not to do. GeoCities, the epitome of free home page business, is now among the worst of such internet companies. This author believes all because Yahoo does not know what it is doing!

We use Encarta Reference Suite 2000 which includes everything we need to write novels/poetry and conduct our company business. The suite includes Bookshelf, Encyclopedia, and Virtual Globe. Each unit contains tons of useful software. Bookshelf has a dictionary, thesaurus, world time line, world almanac, book of quotations, and more.

Britannica.com is the answer to Microsoft Encarta. Remember Encyclopedia Britannica? For under $2000 you could have the complete hard-bound set. Britannica ruled the world until Encarta put all those heavy volumes on CDROM. Of course, Microsoft used another well-known encyclopedia set when Britannica turned them down. For a couple of years Britannica denied that the industry had changed until now. Finally, they are offering their entire set online. There is only one catch. They got so many visitors to their website that the traffic crashed their systems. Their website is down while they add more hardware and software to fix the problem. And we were going to do a smashing review for you too!

Guest Meows!
This is Larry for Ariel. She and her two cats, Harry and Emily, gave us some wonderful Cat Chat articles this month. We are gratified that we can offer this regular article about some wonderful cats and their human bean with visits by a dragon! Please visit the Memorial Page for Ariel's mother. Click the cat wagging its tail graphic to visit their net home. Thank you. Now here is Harry, Chester, and Emily with Cat Chat:

Cat Chat 10-8-99
Fumpwumps In The Bedroom

Harry: Girlfriend says there are Fumpwumps in the back bedroom. She's furry upset, too, cause they be noisy beasties, fur sure!

Emily: What be a Fumpwump, anyways?

Chester: It's Mom's family's word for elephant. I heard her and Girlfriend talking about it. Mom's family has all kinds of words for things.

Emily: Beans always hab all sorts of words!

Chester: Not like these. Mom and her family are all very silly people...

Emily: All beans is silly peoples!

Harry: But Mom is purrticularly silly, I meow. And so is Grandpa bean. Mom is always laffing at him.

Chester: Yes, see, I told you they were silly. See, just like Fumpwump means elephant in Mom's family, other silly words mean other things.

Emily: Like what?

Chester: Well, nutsy means something really great. And kukucta means character, that is, someone who is silly.

Harry: So Mom and Grandpa bean are kukuktas! I alays nosed it! Heehee!

Emily: But what do this hab to do wid Fumpwumps in da bedroom? Sides, I habn't seen no Fumpwumps nowheres. I means, I doesn't really nose what a Fumpwump looks like, but I nose I habn't seen any. Dar be notin round here but Girlfriend an Mom and us kitties and Chester.

Harry: Emily's right. There's no elephants round here. I'da noticed them, I meow!

Emily: Specially if they is good to eat! Is they good to eat?

Chester: Elephants are very very big animals. I don't know if they're good to eat, but I don't think even the two of you together could catch one.

Harry: Well, if they's that big, how can there be Fumpwumps in the bedroom. I've been in the bedroom...

Emily: But not since Girlfriend moveded in!

Harry: Still, there's not room for nothing very very big in there. So how can there be Fumpwumps? I heard Mom and Girlfriend talking, and Girlfriend says they is furry noisy, so as she can't sleep. So how could anything big enough to be noisy be back there?

Chester: There can't be and there isn't. I've flown back there, and there's no big animal there.

Harry: I think Girlfriend and Mom are just talking silly. We nose that Girlfriend can't sleep when there's any noise atall.

Emily: Girlfriend be a delicate bean, fur sure. But we habn't bin noisy, an Mom habn't nieder, cause she sleeps in da oder bedroom. So where is da Fumpwump?

Chester: I think Girlfriend is talking about the people that live behind us. She's been saying they stomp around all night and all day. Mom called them today, but they weren't nice about it at all.

Harry: Them neighbors behind us are never nice beans. Not like the ones that live in front of us. Them back there have always been noisy things, they have!

Emily: They hab, fur sure! I member lotsa times Mom gettin up in da middle ub da night to call up da sheriffs, cause dem noisy beans was playing music all loud. Why don't she call dem sheriffs bout dat ole Fumpwump?

Chester: I don't think they'd come for someone stomping in their own house. It's not the same as loud music.

Emily: But that's not fair! Girlfriend need her sleep, she do! She can't jus catnap like us kitties. She hab to sleep at night, what like all beans do. We has to do something, we do!

Harry: I can go over to their house under the window and meow real loud at night.

Emily: Yous could meow dem right outta dat house, I meow! But we is alays in at night!
Chester: I could fly over there and breathe fire all over them...

Harry: You haven't learned how to breath fire yet.

Emily: I nose! Mom and Girlfriend can change dar bedrooms! That would fool dat Fumpwump, fur sure! Mom can sleep trou anyting.

Harry: That's a wunnerful idea! But wait! The door to the secret bedroom is always closed. Ifn Mom sleeps back there, how can I sleep with her? I always sleep with her. Mostly always, anyways.

Emily: Maybe ifn Mom an Girlfriend switch, Mom will leab da door to da Secret Bedroom open, an den we can gets in dar! Mweheehee! I tink did be da bestest idea we'b had fur eber an eber!

Harry: I thinks so too! I's gonna go meow to Girlfriend right now bout changing bedrooms with Mom! This is gonna be fun!

Cat Chat 10-15-99
Stranger Goings Onses

Emily: Dar bin some stranger tings going on round here what we doesn't unnerstand atall! See, eberting were normal at first dis week, an den...

Harry: And then Mom and Girlfriend disappeared!! And they were gone furever and ever! And there wasn't nobody what come over to feed us or let us in and out or nothing like that! It was turrible! And they hadn't taken out no going away bags or nothing. At least, nothing big or nothing. I sawed them taking a big trash bag to the car, and a little bag no bigger than Girlfriend's carry-everything-in-it bag, but that was all. But then when I went into the bedroom, Mom's pillows were gone! I just didn't nose what to think!

Emily: Me neider. We was stuck inside, an it were hours an hours an hours for we sawed Mom and Girlfriend agin. An our food wasn't fresh ebery hour likes we like it, an my yum-yums weren't fresh alla time, day was jus all ober da floor.

Harry: An my milk was warm too. We looked all over the place fur Mom and Girlfriend. We thought at first they were hiding in the Secret Bedroom, cause the door was shut, but then they just didn't come out and we nose they have to come out some so as they can open the frigidater and use their litterhouse.

Chester: Humans don't use litterhouses! They use toilets.

Harry: Whatever...

Chester: Anyway, they were only gone for one night and half a day.

Emily: Oh, yous tinks yous is so smart cause yous can read da time thingy. Well, it maybe were only a night an half a day but that be fureber fur us, specially since we didn't get to go in an out an in an out an get our food an treats all freshed up like usual.

Chester: You cats are so selfish! All you think about is yourselves!

Harry: Yeah, so?

Chester: Geeze! Didn't you know that Girlfriend hasn't been feeling well lately?

Emily: She hasn't? She seem OK to me.

Harry: Um, well, I have noticed she hasn't been going outta the house much, but I thought that was just fine. I mean, I didn't think it was anything that meant she didn't feel good.

Chester: Well, she hasn't been. That's why Mom and Girlfriend disappeared, because Mom had to take Girlfriend to get this terrible awful medical test that she was dreading like crazy.

Emily: An amedik-cal tester? You mean she had to go to da vet bean?

Chester: Silly cats! No, she went to the people doctor to have the test.

Harry: I's sorry to hear that. I bet going to the people doctor isn't one bit better than going to the vet bean!

Emily: Yous gots that right, Harry. Doctor beans from whateber purrswasion is no good bean atall! What kinda test did she hab to get? Did day stick nasty needleses in her an stuffers like dat?

Chester: I think she did have to get a shot of something, but mostly it was laying on this magentical table that was like a hard cement board and then they put this cage over her head and took pictures of the insides of her head.

Harry: Pitchurs of the inside of her head?? That sound like it hurts furry much! Poor Girlfreind! What wrong with her that she had to have such a turrible test?

Chester: They don't know yet. That's why she had to have the test. But I know her head's been hurting her a lot. That's why she wears that cap a lot lately.

Emily: Oh. I thought she jus liked it was all. Do the cap make her head feel better?

Chester: That's what she says.

Emily: Hmmm. But I still doesn't unnerstands. Why did day hab to disappear an leab us all alone like dat?

Chester: I heard Mom on the phone the day before they disappeared and she was trying to find someone to come over and feed us but everyone was busy. That's why they put extra food and milk and water out for us.

Harry: They coulda waited fur someone to be not busy for they disappeared, I meow!

Chester: It doesn't work that way with people doctors. When they have a test scheduled they have to go, no matter what. They did their best to make sure we were OK while they were gone. And we were. We had plenty of food and stuff...

Emily: It weren't fresh ebery couple ub hours tho!

Chester: But we had plenty of everything, didn't we? There was even food left when they came home.
Harry: Well...I guess you're right bout that, but it still wasn't nice atall.

Emily: I had some fun, tho! I decorated da kitchen wid dis ball ub yarn. Dar were yarn all ober da place, dar was! Heehee!

Harry: So, now is Girlfriend all better?

Chester: Not yet. They have to get back what they call the results, and then she has to go to the people doctor again.

Emily: Agin?? Oh, poor, poor Girlfriend! Dat jus isn't fair. Ifn she went oncet to da bean doctor, she should be all better. Dat's da way it work fur us kitties.

Harry: Sometimes. But sometime we have to go back to the vet bean too. Meow, ifn Girlfriend isn't feeling good we oughta do stuffers to help her feel better.

Emily: Yous is absol-utlaly right dar, Harry. We's needs to do eberyting we can so as our sweet Girlfriend bean feel better real real soon. I wished we could get into da Secret Bedroom and put catfur all ober da place. Dat would make her feel better fur sure! It's no wonder she's sick, wid no catfur where she sleeps!

Harry: But we can't get past that barrier thingy. Oh! I nose! Chester, yous can fly over the barrier. You can take some of our eggstra catfur into the bedroom so as Girlfriend can start feeling better.

Chester: You bet! I can do that right now. There's plenty of furbits lying around here. I gather a bunch up and put them all over her room so she can feel better. But I think we need to do more than just that.

Harry: Like what?

Chester: I think we need to stop asking her for things so she can rest. People need to rest when they aren't feeling good. As of right now I'm not going to ask her to get me anymore chocolate. I'll wait and ask Mom only.

Emily: You are, Chester? Really? Wow, that's a big sakerfice!

Chester: Girlfreind is worth it, I think. Don't you?

Harry: Of course she is! She the most sweetest bestest bean in the world, even more than Mom a lot of the time. So, I'm not gonna yell fur her to let me in and out alla time, only ifn she's right there at the door anyway.

Chester: You can do better than that!

Harry: OK, um...OK, I won't, I won't meow fur her to gib me milk either! So there! Unless she just want to give me some...

Emily: Yous gonna do dat really? Oh, Harry, dat be so brave and kind ub yous! Dat will be a hard ting to not to do, I meow!

Harry: So, what are you gonna do to help Girlfreind rest and feel better, Em?

Emily: Well, I could stop asking her to cober me up wid newspapers...

Chester: That's a start...

Emily: But, oh! Yous doesn't really spect me to...oh, not really! Not ask her fur Yum-yums?? I couldn't! I'd starve to deaf I would!

Harry: You would not! Mom gives you plenty of yum-yums, and so does Grandpa bean when he comes over. I giving up my eggstra milk...

Emily: Well...I guess...oh meow! OK, I guess I can stop askin her fur yum-yums. (sniff) It will be furry hard to do, but I does lub her so much, so as I guess I should. Yous think?

Chester: I think so. And we need to give her lots and lots of extra loving and be real sweet, and quiet when she's sleeping.

Harry: We's can do that! That's easy! But...we don't want Mom to feel all left out. We'll have to give her lots of eggstra love too. Meow! We's gonna have to work furry hard!

Emily: But Mom and Girlfriend, they's worth ebery bit of it, I meow.

Harry: They sure are. I'm gonna go and rub on Mom and then snuggle real good with Girlfriend.

Emily: Dat's a good idea. I'll sleep on Girlfriend's feet an keep them all cozy warm. But I'll pay eggstra tention to Mom too, I will.

Chester: Well, I'm going to fly these furbits into the bedroom, and then I'm going to work on Mom's webpage for her so she can rest too and take care of Girlfriend as well. I bet with all this extra love and not asking for things Girlfriend will be well in no time!

Emily: I bets yous right, Chester! Yous purrty smart, fur a dragon! Heehee!

Cat Chat 10-22-99
Bad Things

Harry: There's been some things happening this week, and some of them have been not so good, and some of them have been just plain bad. But the first really bad thing that happened-and this was just turrible!-was that I started sneezing and sneezing last Sunday. So Mom, she started wondering ifn I had a cold or what, and then she membered that I'd had this same sneezing stuffers last Fall, so then she wondered ifn maybe I have allergicies. So anyway she didn't do nothing Monday, and all I knew was I was sneezing, but I nosed that Girlfriend and Mom were being extra sweet to me, and I wasn't feeling so good. But then...

Emily: Then Harry got took to da vet bean! Heehee!

Harry: It's not funny, Emily! You wouldn't like it ifn you got took to the vet bean!

Emily: Yeah, but I didn't an you did. Anyways, I is sorry you got took, but ifn any cat got took I's glad it were you an not me!

Harry: You don't sound furry sorry atall!! So, but anyways, Mom stuffed me in that box thingy and off we went, me meowing the whole way that I wasn't that sick. And then the vet bean was busy Mom said, and we sat there and waited and waited. I told Mom we should just go, but she said we couldn't. So finally he come, and stuck that cold thing on my chest, and looked in my nose and eyes and mouth, and then he gave me a shot! It were awful!

Emily: At least he didn't stick nothin up your butt like last time!

Harry: Well, yes, at least that didn't happen. But anyway, I was kinda sleepy all the rest of the day, but now I'm not sneezing much atall. Oh! The vet bean says I do have allergicies. I hope that doesn't mean I have to go get a shot every year!

Chester: I bet it does. Allergies don't just go away.

Harry: (sigh) Well, anyway, that's all over with. Then...

Emily: Well, then Mom hasn't been feeling all too well this week...

Harry: Emily! I was going to say that!

Emily: Yous already bin doin mosta da talkin. So anyways, da ting is Mom have bin furry tired dis week. We doesn't nose why, cept course she alays have this tired thiny goin on cause ub her fibbyalga...

Chester: Fibromyalgia. And Chronic Fatigue.

Emily: Whateber. But Mom bin eben more tired dan usual, an kinda bin draggin round all week. An Girlfriend, she still not feelin too great neider. So they've both stayed home mostly alla time, an there bin lots ub pettin ub us, which were jus fine wid me...

Harry: Me too. But there's also been lots of Mom laying her head on Girlfriend's shoulder or lap cause she wasn't feeling good and wanted Girlfriend's uninvited tention. Which meant we weren't getting petted cause Mom was there. But I don't like it when Mom feels bad, so I didn't mind that. Not too much anyways.

Emily: See, the ting is, Mom an Girlfriend they habn't bin sleepin real furry well atall. The Fumpwumps behind us bin wumpin. An Girlfriend bin tinkin bout habin to go back to da bean vet bean agin, I meow, what she hab to do next week. But oder dan all dat, tings bin purrty calm til today.

Harry: Yeah! Today everything just all seemed to happen at oncet. First Girlfriend hadn't slept good again, and she was awake early and picked up the phone when Grandpa bean called. Mom was still asleep. Then Mom heard the phone and got up, and I could tell she wasn't feeling too good, and Grandpa bean, he told her that Aunt Cardy is real real sick. Course we didn't know that at first. All we nosed was that Mom started to make phone calls like crazy. And then she hung up and started crying and crying. Then she went and cried on Girlfriend's shoulder fur a long long time.

Emily: We didn't nose what was wrong, but then Mom started talking bout it, and that's when we found out the her Aunt Cardy, what she loves furry furry much, has had a massive strike!

Chester: Stroke. She had a stroke. It sounds very bad. Mom says that her Uncle Eddy said that Aunt Cardy is failing fast. That means she might probably die, like Grama bean did last year.

Emily: No wonder Mom is so upset! She made some more phone calls, then she cried some more. There was callin in and callin out all all day. And Mom was pacin round and messin wid dis and dat...

Harry: Yeah, and Grandpa bean come over, and they talked a bunch, and then he did some stuffers in da bedroom. Something bout fixing circuitry breakums. And that meant that Mom and Girlfriend didn't get to take their naps til way late. And then!

Emily: And then the Fumpwumps, they started playin music real loud. Girlfriend was fit to be tied, she were! Mom heard it too, but she finally felled asleep, she were so tired. But Girlfriend didn't sleep atall. And so now Mom says next time they's gonna call the sheriff on them Fumpwumps. Mom say she jus don't unnerstand, them beans used to be such nice quiet beans, but now they is turrible. Like Mom and Girlfriend don't hab enuff to worry dem an make dem upset an sick!

Harry: Yeah! We needs them Fumpwumps like holes in our heads, we do! And after Mom and Girlfriend had had such a rough day too! It's just not fair!

Chester: A rough week, really. If I was bigger, I'd take care of those Fumpwumps! They wouldn't be making anymore noise at all! Not ever!

Harry: I wishet there were something we could do to make things better fur Mom and Girlfriend. But I guess the best thing we can do is just to show them how furry much we love them both, and keep them warm and purred on a lot.

Emily: Yes, I tink dat's da bestest ting a kitty can do when their beans feel bad. But I were wondering, ifn Aunt Cardy does die like Grama bean did, will she go to Rainbow Bridge?

Chester: Why would you think that? Humans go through another gate to Heaven. Besides, Aunt Cardy will go to be with Grama Bean and their parents.

Emily: But what about Bootsie and Nature Boy what owned Aunt Cardy. They be waitin fur her at Rainbow Bridge, right? That's what Peanut Butter said, anyways.

Harry: Oh, that's right! Aunt Cardy, she'll get right into Heaven through Rainbow Bridge cause she has pets waiting there that love her. And then they'll all be happy together, and prolly Grama bean will come and meet Aunt Cardy and they'll all go off together and live all happy furever and ever.

Emily: So I guess it's not so bad, this dying thing, ifn you gets to go an be wid da beans and nanimals what you love. So Mom shouldn't be so sad. She'll see Aunt Cardy agin someday, cause she'll be going right straight through Rainbow Bridge too, cause of alla kitties what owned and loved her. And then eberybody will be happy.

Chester: Yes, but I think the hard part is missing those that went on before us . I know Mom misses Grama bean something awful. And she'll miss Aunt Cardy awful too if she does die. And that's what makes her sad.

Harry: Well, we'll just all three of us have to do our best to keep Mom happy, and memind her that one day everyone of us will be all together and happy in a beautiful place.

Emily: Yes, I'll be sure to memind her alla time. And Girlfriend too. It's not fun to be sad. We'll jus hab to be all silly and lubin an then eberyting will be OK. Right?

Chester: Right, Emily. Everything will be OK. Because that's the way God who loves all animals and humans means it to be.

Emily: Dis be da day after we's wrote dis column, an we's jus wanted to tell all yous beans an kitties dat Mom's Aunt Cardy went to Rainbow Bridge at five on da clock dis mornin. So now she is wid her Nauture Boy and Bootsie, and Grama bean, an their other sister what went to Heaven long long ago. Mom be furry sad, but she nose it be fur da bestest, an we is takin good good care ub her.

Cat Chat 10-29-99
Da Secret Bedroom An Uder Stuffers

Harry: Well, it took a buncha meowing...

Emily: It sure did! We's bin meowin fur weeks bout it!

Harry: But we finally meowed Mom and Girlfriend into switching bedrooms! I didn't think they'd ever listen, even tho we'd nosed it was a furry good idear, but finally they did, and decided, well, yes, we think we'll just try that.

Emily: An a furry wunnerful idear it be, too! See, now we can both get into da Secret Bedroom, but eben better dan dat is me an Harry both, we hab our own beds wid our own beans inside dem! See, Girlfriend is my own special bean, eben tho I lubs Mom furry much...

Harry: And Mom is my bean and always has been. So I sleep in the Secret Bedroom, what isn't secret anymore, with Mom and the bed all to myself. And I tell yous, it is wunnerful. I have a snuggly special corner where I sleeps all cozy on my winter blanky against the wall, an then sometime I sleep on top of the covers, cause Mom has the heating blanket on real nice and warm.

Emily: An I sleeps on da heatin blanky wid Girlfriend, an I has her all to meself alla time at night, an at naptime too! I snuggle up next to her on dis big big fluffy pillow what she hab under da cobers an we is jus as happy an cozy as two kittens in a basket! It's bin cold at night, so as Girlfriend hab that heatin blanket turneded up real real warm. I jus lub it! I wished day woulda listened to us an done dis sooner. Did is da bestest ting dat's bin happened to us kitties since Girlfriend moveded in!

Harry: It sure is! And what is even better even is that Girlfriend sleeps so good in the other bedroom, cause it's quiet back there, and she can't hear them nasty fumpwumps atall! And Mom, she sleeps right through any noise the fumpwumps make. It don't bother her atall!

Chester: And I just sleep on the couch, cause Girlfriends goes to bed earlier then Mom, and it's nice and warm from her sitting there.

Harry: Chester has got too big to sleep on the puter!

Chester: Yes, I'm growing to be a big dragon now! I can stand on the puter chair and type, instead of having to sit on the desk. I'm growing very fast. Mom says that's OK as long as I don't get longer then the couch. Then she doesn't know where she'll put me. She's teased me about me having to sleep outside if I get much bigger, but she's not serious. She and Girlfriend have talked about putting a blanket on the living room floor if I get really big. Besides, Mom says that maybe someday soon she and Girlfriend can move to a bigger place. We're all stuffed in here pretty close right now...

Emily: But it's cozy dat way! An we has plenty of room. An lotsa lotsa places to sleep an hide an stuffers like dat! Sides, yous be right, Mom be jus teasin bout yous sleepin outside. It be comin on to wintertime! She would make not a one ub us sleep outside in da wintertime!

Chester: I know that! It's already getting cold. But Mom does like to tease. She's a silly person sometimes.

Emily: Girlfriend is too. An da two ub dem togeder, day laugh an laugh bout all sortsa silly stuffers. Like yesterday, what were Mom's birthday. Mom had gone to get special bean yum-yums fur dar dinner, an da grocery store had all deese balloons what fur gibin out to little childrens. An Mom, she jus grab one on da way out an took it wid her! She said it were da only blue balloon day had, but it were her birthday so she deserveded it. An she an Girlfriend tought dat were funny. An den da balloon, it were floated up gainst the ceiling like an had dis long long string. An Harry were in da kitchen trying to catch da string! Mom, she tought dat were da funniest ting an calleded in Girlfriend an day jus laugh an laugh at Harry tryin to catch da balloon string! Heehee!

Harry: Yeah, normally I don't like being laughed at, but Mom and Girlfriend were having so much fun I didn't mind. Sometime anyway I like being silly fur Mom and Girlfriend cause they like it so much, and it's good fur them to laugh. Specially with Aunt Cardy dying last week, Mom needed to have lots of stuff to laugh at and have fun with.

Emily: That's fur sure. It's a kitty's job to see dat dar beans is happy, cause beans an kitties alike feels better when day is happy. Happy is day bestest way to be! An I sure is happy habin da bed an Girlfriend to sleep wid all to meself widout Harry chasin me offen da bed!

Harry: I never did that!

Emily: Ha! Yous did it alla time an yous nose it! But now eberything is jus purrfect. All we needs now is fur Girlfriend to get all better again. Da bean vet bean, he be a wortless piece a junk, Mom say, an didn't do no good atall fur Girlfriend!

Harry: Well, I coulda told her that! I mean, we nose vet beans aren't good beans to go near, so how can bean vet beans be any good fur anyone?? But so anyways, Mom is gonna get this stuffer fur Girlfriend from what she call the Health Food Store, and maybe, we hopes, that will make Girlfriend all better. Sleeping better is helping her fur sure.

Emily: So is us lubin on her lots an lots!

Chester: Well, we're doing lots of that! This house is full of loving. Oh! And Mom says she's going to get a better picture of me now that I'm bigger. She's trying to get one of me typing at the puter. I hope she does that soon.

Harry: The one of you on the lawn is a good pitchur.

Chester: Yes it is, but you two have so many pictures of you, and I only have that one now of me that's good, because the in the other ones I'm little. Anyway, I know Mom will get to that as soon as she can. She's been busy this week because it's the end of the month and all her articles that she writes for all the online magazines are due. She said she's do it after that.

Emily: She will. She's good bout dat kinda stuffers. So, anyways, things be goin purrty good here now. An yous nose what? I found out dat dar isn't nothin special bout da secret bedroom atall! It's jus anoder place wid furniture in it.

Chester: Well, I told you that! Silly cats! A room is a room. And now we all have our own!

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