The Shaffer Journal
Volume 5 Issue 11 December 1999
[Internet Stuff] [Hockey Puck] [Guest Meows! Cat Chat 1 2 3 4]
[The Mountains of Ao] [Poetry Corner] [The Dull Stuff] [Guest Articles] [In The Keys]

Kitty Talk
These journals are dedicated to Kitty GreyCat's spirit. She is at RainBow Bridge now. We all loved you, Kitty! Click the cat graphic to visit her Memorial page. Kitty born June 6, 1982. Died July 9, 1997.

I am Ebony and Christmas is close now. I got my list for Santa Clawws. First we list all birfdays, anniversaries, and holidazes: December 3 Hanukkah, 7 Pearl Harbor Day and Hunter birthday, 18 Doris birthday, 24 Christmas Eve, 25 Jesus birthday, 27 our human bean birthday, 31 New Year's Eve. December is really a busy month furr stuff, I meow at you.

Finally, I get to meow at you. Why, of course, I is dat famous kit cat called Abraxas or Abby. I been hearing about dee ole Y2K bugg. Dee udder day I finded a big fat, juicy bugg under dee table. I pounced on it. Dee bugg run furr it! I chases it and paw tap on it some. Dee bugg turned upside down. Dare were legs wiggle waggling eberrywhare. Den all the sudden like the human bean went ewwww and got a napkin and plucked dat bugg right out from under me nose, you nose? He flushed it down dee toilet to bugg hell. But I wasn't done with it by long shot!

Me Ebony know dat buggs belong in toilet hell. Dat Abby been sniffing chicken nugget fumes. I is more worried about how Santa Clawws gonna get into our fifth wheel travel trailer. We got no chimney. I fink I meow to bean to leaf dee door unlocked. I is going to pile a big pile of catnip on dee table to put presents around. I is hoping for a mousie, two boids, and a peck of gecko lizards. I meow to Santa Clawws to leaf Abby a taco dawgie. Taco dawgie can bark two languages and is same size as Abby. I rather like dee idear of paw wapping a stoopid dawgie around. Dawgs droolz; cats rulez forever.

Oh, yeah! I Abby pawwed a letter to Santa Clawws meowing about use. He not happy you been depleting dee world of gecko lizards. I fink you gonna get lumps of coal, I do. I nose fings you not!

I Ebony not eber looked at the TV like you did seeing a flock of black boids and getting all exciterated. Why, you were drooling wike a dawgie over boidees. Your head was going all ober dee place.

I Abby noses you used to watch race cars on the TV paw tapping either side trying to catch you one. Use do dat a lot till the human bean tole you day would always stay on TV screen furr ever.

I Ebony fink you been eating too much catnip. Dee human beans and other cats knows what furrr, day do. So, Abby, what you want furr Christmas? Besides a taco dawgies or two or three . . . 

Well, meow, I Abby fought about it sum. I would wike a couple wads of paper to chase, fresh chickie right offing dee grille, sum fresh fishies, and a few really alive buggs to paw at be nice too.

Well, Abby, Ebony, and I want to wish you all a wonderful holiday season full of joy and love.

Internet Stuff
What's new on our webs? We are still working on our Runes of Ao.com website. One of these years we will get it nearly finished. The new commercial site called AlphaOmega Bookstore & Publisher [AOB&P] was updated with current franchise information and several pages added. Our original commercial sites NetPublishers and AlphaOmega BookStore & Publisher are still attracting lots of visitors. We are streamlining our old Runes of Ao site. Ebony and Abby sites are popular with children. Our millennium webs at Heartland and Athens feature fireworks. We are slow, but our sites do change a little each day.

Britannica.com , if you remember, attracted so many visitors, their website crashed! They finally got their site updated so that they can take all the millions of visitors. This site is free and offers you the ability to use Britannica Encyclopedia anytime, anywhere. We prefer Encarta Reference Suite 2000, but either will do the job quite well. It is worth a look. There will be many other free offers coming soon. The Internet is changing the face of business on a daily basis. No time to wait now.

Guest Meows!
This is Larry for Ariel. She and her two cats, Harry and Emily, gave us some wonderful Cat Chat articles this month. We are gratified that we can offer this regular article about some wonderful cats and their human bean with visits by a dragon! Please visit the Memorial Page for Ariel's mother. Click the cat wagging its tail graphic to visit their net home. Thank you. Now here is Harry, Chester, and Emily with Cat Chat:

Cat Chat 11-6-99
Crazy Beans

Emily: Claws and Tails! Yous shoulda seed our beans last weekend! We tought dayed done turned into crazy doggies!

Harry: They were crazy fur sure! See, it was Mom's birfday last week, and so Mom and Girlfriend had a nice quiet birfday celebration on the day of Mom's birfday. They had a nice meal, and we got to eat some steak...

Emily: I didn't get any steak! Why didn't I get any steak? I didn't eben nose about no steak!

Harry: Yous musta been outside or something. Anyways, I got some steak, but not much, I meow, cause Mom and Girlfriend ate it all up real real fast. And Mom opened a couple of birfday gifters and a card and ooooed and ahhed and stuffers like that and then they kissed and snuggled all up and we figured that was all there was to it...

Emily: But we was wrong! Cause Mom, see, she had dis plan fur a party. Dat's what beans call being crazy, I meow-habin a party. We nosed she were workin on something on the puter, but she's always workin on somethin on the puter so we didn't think nothin bout it atall. But she was makin these little stacks of papers wid words on dem, and made da printer spit out a whole bunch ub stuffers. So then come Saturday...

Chester: You cats only knew it was Saturday because I told you!

Harry: Well, a day is a day, I meow. The only difference tween them is when the guitar beans come over. But anyways Saturday Mom in the evening, she rearranged the living room and put out stuff on little tables. Some of it was the little stacks of little papers, and the big stacks of big papers that the printer spit out. But she put out cigret lighters and pieces of newspapers..

Emily: My newspapers, I hab yous nose! As if any newspapers belongs to Mom!

Harry: And these stiff cards Mom calls playing cards, and these little bells, and then she searched and searched til she found this one special video thingy. We still weren't thinking much bout it, cause there been lots of rearranging of stuffers ever since Girlfriend moved in. But then these two strange girl beans come over...

Emily: And day was really strange fur sure!! Day was sillier den any beans I eber seed. At least one ub dem were. Da oder one were sorta quiet like. But so day started talkin real loud and laffin an laffin an Mom got up an showed dem beans bout dis silly dance what we'd seen her do sometime. An she splained bout da big papers, what she called a script, an told dem all bout da little stacks ub little papers and all da oder stuffers, an day was laffin an cuttin up like day was nuts!

Harry: But the worst were yet to come, fur sure. See, day put that video Mom had got out into the video machiney, and then they started yellin an singin and getting up an dancin...I neber seen anything like it since Mom stopped drinking that smelly stuffer that she and the unhusband used to drink long long time ago. Only they weren't drinkin no smelly stuffer. They were just being silly...

Emily: An loud! Specially the little strange girl bean. She were jus yellin her head off! An I tought Harry had a big mouf!!

Chester: To explain, the humans were watching a movie called The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Apparently it's an audience participation movie, where the people yell things at the screen and sing along and use various props. Normally this is done in a movie theater, but no theater around here shows it anymore and besides, Girlfriend really isn't well enough to go out running around at midnight to see a silly movie. So, Mom decided they would do it here. She loves the movie and thought it would be lots of fun. And they did have lots of fun. I never saw such a scene myself, but Mom and Girlfriend were both laughing and having a great time. It was nice to see that, and it was a funny movie.

Emily: I wouldn't nose. I hided da whole time! Dar were jus too much yellin and crazy stuffers goin on fur me!

Harry: I ran through the living room a few times, but there was stuff flying all over the place, and too much noise and moving round. They didn't even make a lap for me atall! Not the whole night! After da movie, Mom played guitar fur a while, and I went in to listen like I always do, but even then I couldn't get up on the couch with Mom and Girlfriend. There wasn't any room, and they were still moving round and the strange noisy bean girls were still talking and cutting up and acting crazy. Well, at least like we said, the little one was. The other one, she seemed OK, but the little one was like glued to her side and wouldn't leave her alone, so I never got to find out if the other one was really a nice kitty friend or not.

Emily: Well, finally dem noisy strange girl beans lefted da house, an peace were restoreded. Den I come out an said hi to Mom and Girlfriend, but they was jus pooped! So it weren't long after dat dat day come to bed, an I was sure happy bout dat! I'd had enuff ub noisy making moving round stuffers.

Harry: Me too. And I think Mom and Girlfriend had had enuff too. They slept real real late the next day, and it's been quiet ever since, cept fur the guitar beans coming and Mom and Girlfriend moving stuff in and out and all round, which is purrty normal fur things nowadays.

Emily: I sure hope Mom don't do this kinda crazy stuffers agin!! Oncet were quite enuff, I meow!

Chester: I wouldn't count on it. People do like to have fun, you know, just like we three do.

Emily: Humph! It weren't no fun fur me, I tell yous! I likes fun wid strings and balls and Yum-yums! Not wid lots ub yellin!

Harry: I agree. But I guess when us kitties own beans, we do have to put up with some crazy things. I meow, these beans! Can't live with them, can't live without them!

Emily: Yous said a mouful dar, Harry. But I guess it's worth it to own one or two. Day does make da house cozy and feed us an stuff. So I guess we'll keep dem, eben ifn da are noisy sometime!

Cat Chat 11-10-99
Da Movers

Chester: Ever since Girlfriend moved in there's been a whole lot of moving things around and moving things in and out...

Harry: We told them what read our column that lotsa times, Chester!

Chester: Yes, but now it has gotten completely out of hand!

Emily: Yous right bout dat fur sure, Chester! Tings is getting so con-fusin round here we doesn't nose what up or down or here or dar! I neber eben nose where to find Mom or Girlfriend. Day is always not in da place day is sposed to be in!

Harry: That's fur sure! Things started getting con-fusing when Mom and Girlfriend traded bedrooms. We thought at first it was a Great Thing. And it is still, really, cause me and Em both have our own beds and our own bean to snuggle now...

Emily: Cept when Girlfriend closes da door an I can't get in. She say dat I is too ram-buntuious like! I's a good kitty! I don't nose why she would say dat! But I does get cited sometime, specially when I been trapped inside all all day like da oder weekend.

Harry: Well, a kitty does need to run round sometime. But yous nose dat Girlfriend can't sleep wid anyone moving or making noise. I'm furry quiet when I goes to bed with Mom...

Emily: Yeah, cept when she sleeps late and yous use dat big mouf ub yourn to wake her up! Heehee!

Harry: Sometime she has to be woke up or else we'd never be able to go out! But anyway, that's not what's making thins so con-fusing. See, the thing is, it's like every single day, not a one goes by that something doesn't get moved somewhere else.. And a lot of the time, whatever they're moving has already been moved oncet or twicet before! Things are just flying every which where, I meow! But what really got us all con-fused is when Mom and Girlfriend moved Girlfriend's puter over here!

Chester: I didn't even know Girlfriend had a puter! Now I have to guard both of them! And there's not much room in the once-secret bedroom for a growing dragon. I'm still small enough now, but I'm growing fast!

Emily: Yeah! Purrty soon yous gonna be able to reach da doorknob! Den we won't hab to wake up Mom to let us out!

Harry: Oh! That will be great! Ifn only Chester could work the can opener too!

Chester: I'll learn. But we're getting off the subject here...

Emily: Don't we alays? Heehee!

Chester: Well, yes, but this is important to talk about, I think.

Harry: Chester is right. This is a thing of majority importantality! See, as soon as Mom and Girlfriend brought Girlfriend's puter over...

Emily: And that were quite a mess all by itself! They bin mobin stuffers a lot a lot, but dat night I didn't tink day would eber stop draggin stuffers in and mobin stuffers round an round. Day mobed da coffee table what all my toys is under, and moved the big noisy thing what Mom gets all sweaty on, and moved dis and dat and da oder ting into da back room, an den mobed da coffee table and da sweaty machine back, an den mobed eberyting in da usedta-be secret bedroom round an round an round til I were dizzy jus watchin! But finally day both got pooped an quit mobin stuffers fur dat night. But da ting is...

Harry: The thing is now we never know what room Mom and Girlfriend are going to be in. When I first sawed Girlfriend in da oncet-secret bedroom, which is where Mom is sposed to be, I just didn't nose what to think! I mean, after all, that's Mom's room now, and mine, of course. But there was Girlfriend playing on her puter in da oncet-secret bedroom like that were her place to be!! I mean, we'd just got used to her being in the bedroom that Mom and us slept in fur so long, and then here she is appearing back in the oncet-secret bedroom. It just doesn't make any sense atall! It's enuff to make a kitty's head spin, I meow! Anyways, she's sposed to be on the couch mosta the time. That's her special place where I can snuggle with her. But now how can I snuggle with her ifn she's sitting at her puter instead of on the couch where she's sposed to be?

Emily: I nose! I don't get all da petting an baby talkin like I did neider now dat Girlfriend is sittin at her puter! I tought I was seein tings dat weren't dar when I first sawed her sittin in da used-to-be secret bedroom at a puter, ub all tings!!

Chester: And things haven't stopped! Things keep getting moved and moved and moved back again! And just the other day Mom and Girlfriend were pondering about where to put even more stuff. They got out measuring tapes and measured this way and that way and this thing and that thing and discussed how this might go here and that might go there. And then Mom goes and moves stuff back to where she'd already took then off of! I swear, these people are just plain crazy, I think!

Emily: Well, they alays hab been crazy, but they is jus egg-stra crazy now. Claws and Tails! I don't nose what we is gonna do wid dem!

Harry: Well, I don't nose bout the two of yous, but I'm just going to lay low and sleep wherever no moving is going on til all this stops! I've tried meowing to Mom that this is just got way out of paw, but she doesn't listen no way no how!

Chester: I think that's the best idea. No amount of talking to them is going to make them stop when their in this moving mood!

Emily: I tink yous both got somethin dar! I'll jus hide til all da dust settles!

Harry: Yous always hide!

Emily: Yeah, well, so? It's da best ting to do when tings is nuts round here, I meow!

Harry: At least one thing's fur sure. This place is stuffed most to the ceiling. They can't do too much move moving stuffers round...can they?

Cat Chat 11-16-99
Collaring Mom

Harry: We've been talking to our friends Ebony and Abby...

Emily: Abby an Ebony!

Harry: No! Ebony and Abby. The mature, alpha cat always gets named first. The kitten with nothing but fuzzballs tween their ears always gets named second. Like we're Harry and Emily!

Emily: Emily an Harry, yous ole fogey cat yous! Alpha cat my paw! Sides, I'm not no kitten wid fuzzballs tween my ears, an nieder is Abby! We is furry mature kitties!

Harry: Sure you are! That's why you talk people talk so good-as if! Heehee!

Emily: (humph)

Harry: Anyways, as I was saying, we've been talking to our furfriends down in Florida and they've come up with a furry good idea, we think.

Emily: Well, that's at least one ting we agrees on. See, da ting is, Abby and Ebony, day lib in dis place where it be dangerous fur a kitty to jus wander round all by herself. Where we lib we hab lotsa woods and stuffers, an so we can go whereber we wants, and hunt moleses and mousies an boidies an all kindsa stuffers like dat!

Harry: Right! But Ebony and Abby can't, or some nasty bean might come and steal them, or they might get lost or fall into the ocean or something. The ocean is only a teeny little ways away, bout as far as da house crosst the creek. So cause of this, Ebony and Abby's bean has collars fur them, and leads so they can be outside safe and sound. Now, I wouldn't want to have to have a collar and a lead on me. I like to go wherever I want to go. But our furfriends, they got to thinking bout their bean....

Emily: Yeah! See, they don't want him to get losted. So they bin thinkin bout getting him a collar wid tags jus like day hab. Da tags, see, day say da kitty's name, an address an phone number too, so as ifn day eber get losted whateber bean finds dem can make sure day gets home ok.

Harry: Egg-xactaly! So that's why they were thinking bout getting a collar and tags fur their bean, so ifn he ever gets losted, they can get him back. Well, we think this in a wunnerful idea! After all, Mom does go off sometime and doesn't come home fur long and long and who's to say but what she didn't get losted and just not tell us!

Emily: Yeah! She could jus be makin up a story bout where she's been! She's good at makin up stories!

Chester: Oh, stop it, you two! You know very well that Mom hasn't been making up stories about where she goes when she goes on trips. Besides, she's always found her way home before. What makes you think she'll get lost now? She's been coming home on her own since before Harry was born!

Emily: Well yous neber nose! She could be makin up stories! An she could get losted. We wouldn't want dat atall!

Harry: We sure wouldn't! And what about Girlfriend? She hasn't been living here all that long. She might could get losted real easy!

Emily: Oh! Oh! We's gots to be sure to keep her safe!!

Harry: We sure do! That's why we need to get them both collars and tags. So, we've got to measure their necks. I told Ebony that she could curl her tail around her bean's neck and measure it that way. We can do that too! Ifn I curl my tail round Mom's neck, it curls round and almost touches my butt. All we have to do is measure my tail with something and we'll nose how big Mom's collar needs to be.

Emily: I tried dat wid Girlfriend, but she say she don't want my butt in her face! Maybe yous are gonna hab to measure her neck too, Harry...

Chester: You're wasting your time! You'll never get Mom and Girlfriend to wear collars!

Harry: Don't pay any attention to him! He's got up on the wrong side of the couch today, I meow! OK, I think I can measure Girlfriend's neck too. But we have to have something to measure my tail.

Emily: Oh! There's a big stick thing in da pantry what Mom calls a yard stick. I don't nose why she call it dat, cause I neber seed her use it in da yard, but I hab seed her measure stuffers wid it. We can use dat. Only...I don't nose how to read it...

Harry: Um...neither do I. Chester, can yous...

Chester: I'm not getting involved in this! I told you you're wasting your time. I'm not wasting mine.

Emily: Claws an tails, he's grouchy today!

Chester: I'm not grouchy. I just know it's a silly idea.

Harry: But we think it's a good idea! Please Chester? We nose you can help us ifn only yous would.

Chester: OK, you two talk Mom and Girlfriend into actually wearing the collars and tags, and I'll measure your tail.

Emily: Hooray! OK, now we gots dat settled, so now we gots to decide what color the collars should be. Mom likes blue and green a lot, so I was thinkin dat we should get her a blue collar wid her name on it in green.

Harry: That's an egg-cellent idea, Emily! Now, what about Girlfriend? She wears gray a lot...

Emily: She likes to wear stuffers from that basetball team she likes...what is day called?

Harry: The Tarheels! That's right! The stuffers she wears lotsa times has light blue on it, and dark blue too sometime. So we can get her a light blue collar with her name in dark blue on it. Um, I think that color is called Carolina Blue. So then we can get her Carolina blue tags with her name and our phone number and address on them...

Chester: Exactly what names are you going to put on the collars, if I may ask?

Emily: Why, Girlfriend and Mom, ub course! What else?

Chester: Oh, of course! I should have guessed! Heehee, you silly cats. That's not their names. That's just what we call them. Besides, they know their own address and phone number.

Harry: But they could furget them, I meow!

Chester: OK. Where are you going to buy these collars and tags? And how are you going to pay for them?

Harry: We're going to buy them on the Internet, of course! Where else would anyone buy anything? And we'll use Mom's buying stuffers card.

Chester: Heeheehaahahaha!! You cats are just too funny. Mom is never going to let you use her buying stuff card. In fact, she's never even going to agree to get the collars at all! Much less her and Girlfriend wear them!

Emily: Yous jus an ole wet blanket yous is, Chester! We'll get Mom an Girlfriend to wear dem collars. After all, it's fur so dat day be safe.

Chester: Just how do you plan to talk then into it?

Emily: Well...we'll cross dat counter when we comes to it. Da portant ting is to measure dem and get da collars first. Den when day sees how bootiful dar collars is, day will wear dem, you'll see!

Harry: Yeah! And they'll be all touched and sniffly cause we love them enuff to get them collars and tags so as they don't get lost!

Emily: Right! You said it, Harry! See, Chester? It's a furry good idea. They'll like it!

Chester: Well, the day you two talk Mom and Girlfriend into agreeing to all this, let me know. I'm going to go sleep on the couch.

Harry: Maybe he'll wake up in a better mood! Now, Em, you go talk to Girlfriend. She alays listen to yous. And I'll go and start measuring Mom's neck.

Emily: Ok! I nose Girlfriend will tink dis is as good an idea as we do! Sides, She'll do anyting fur me! Heehee!

Cat Chat 11-23-99  
The Leaf Takers

Emily: Something strange were going on da oder day an we jus couldn't figure it out atall! See, it's da time ub year when all da leafs fall offen da trees, and den day is all crinkly an nice smelling and fun to play in. An da mousies and squirrels, day all burrow in dem and run round on dem and make all sortsa interestin noises dat we jus has to go vestigate!

Harry: But fur some reason, some beans don't seem to like having the leaves on the ground. Our landlord bean, who lives way up by the highway, he's alays coming down the driveway with this big stick with little sticks all spread out at the end, what he calls a rake. And he comes and he pulls on that stick with the wide end on the ground and makes all the leafs curl up into big piles. And then-yous just won't believe this!-he puts them in big black plastic bags and has some other bean take them all away!

Emily: Some years he puts fire to da leafs an makes dem burn, but he habn't done dat dis year, ona count ub it bin real real dry here. It's dangerous to make fire outside.

Chester: That's why Mom won't let me practice breathing fire outside.

Harry: Yous can't breath fire yet anyways, Chester!

Chester: Yes, but If I don't practice I never will!

Harry: Well, anyway, it's been strange enuff about the landlord bean pulling the rake around and making the leafs go away. We've never unnerstood that atall. Mom doesn't unnerstand it either. She says she likes the leafs on the ground, and anyway, she does do anythin outside that's work. And I tell you, that landlord bean works hard at making those leafs go away!

Emily: It jus doesn't make no sense atall! God made dem leafs fall fur a reason. Day is dar so as us kitties hab fun places to play, an da little nanimils hab places to hide, an eben da childrens, what we doesn't tink much ub, but day hab fun stuffers to play wid too when da leafs are all falled to da ground. Harry: I like to hear beans walking on the leafs. They make wunnerful crunchy sounds. And Mom says the leafs protect the grass and other stuffers what grows outside so as they won't get all cold in the wintertime. But some beans just don't seem to unnerstand that.

Emily: Well, Mom is pretty smart, fur a bean. Beans what aren't owned by kitties jus don't hab da same mount ub brains dat beans what is owned by kitties hab!

Harry: Yous said a mouful there, Em! That brings us to our neighbor crosst the creek beans. They aren't owned by any kitty, so maybe that why they did this, but it still makes no sense atall atall.

Emily: What day did was, day got dis oder bean to come ober wid dis big noisy truck thingy, an it was pulling a long black thingy on wheels, an there were nasty looking machines on it!

Chester: Lawn mowers and leaf blowers.

Emily: Yeah, dat's right! Noisy monster machines, I meow! Well, da truck, it were noisy enuff. It come alla way down to our house, an eben Mom were wonderin what da heck were goin on! She peeked out da window an eberyting! But den da truck turneded round and went partly back up da driveway, an it stopped up by da neighbors crosst da creek.

Harry: That's when things got really strange! This bean got outta his truck, and got the big nasty machines offen the thingy on the back...

Chester: It was a trailer...

Harry: Yeah, that. And then this bean, he started going round and round and round that yard, sucking up all the leafs with those noisy monster machines, and they just all disappeared into the belly of the big lawn mower monster. It wears its belly on its butt, yous nose! That right there shows yous shouldn't trust sucha thing! And after a while, the bean got offen the noisy monster and opened up the belly, and pulled out a big black bag. And then he went round and round and round the yard again, and again, and again, and alla time stopping ever now and again to take a black bag outta the monster's belly. And the more he went round and round and the more bags he got outta the monster, the less leafs there were! It was the strangest thing I ever seen!

Emily: Course, we stayed safe on our side ub da creek. But it was da strangest ting fur sure. All dem bootiful leafs jus kept disappearin into da belly ub dat nasty beast machine, and nothin was left but black bags. That wasn't purrty atall! Why would beans rather hab black bags on their yard instead of purrty leafs what aren't botherin nobody an are so nice fur so many nanimals an beans and plants? I jus don't get it atall! Beans jus seem to get stranger ebery day, I meow!

Harry: And what's even stranger than all that is, Mom says the crosst the creek neighbors paid this bean money to make all their leafs go away! Can yous imagine that??

Emily: I sure can't! Why, dat money coulda bought some cat food instead!

Chester: But they don't have a cat.

Emily: Well, that's part ub dar problem, fur sure. But day could buy da cat food fur us!

Harry: That's a good idea. We can alays use more food anytime! But I still don't unnerstand what these beans have gainst they nice leafs. It's like what they do with the grass in the summer when it's all long and snuggly soft and cool. Those beans come and cut it all down so it's all hard and brown and not nice atall.

Chester: Mom says it's a man thing. Male humans think they have to control everything, even stuff that God put there for a purpose.

Emily: Don't men beans unnerstand bout God an why tings are here?

Chester: Some of them do, maybe, but they still have to cut down the grass and take the leaves all away. It's just in their nature, I guess.

Harry: Well, I'm glad we don't have a man bean around anymore to make all the leafs go away. I like the leafs just where they are! I don't guess we'll ever talk grandpa bean into not cutting down the grass tho.

Emily: Prolly not. It's his job, yous nose. An he seem to like it. He says it's good esser-size.

Harry: Well, so long as he doesn't come and take our leafs away, I'll be happy.

Emily: Me too. Mean ole leaf takers! Day jus don't nose how tings is spossed to be, I meow!

Cat Chat is © 1999 - 2008, 2009 Ariel, Emily, Harry, and Chester the Dragon. All rights reserved. This column may not be reprinted in part or whole without permission from Ariel

Poetry Corner
"For This Life" November 8, 1999

Unless you die
You cannot live
You may wail
You may deny

We all must die
For what purpose
Why not eternity
Why me most of all

One lifetime
Not enough
Don't understand
I've gone mad

Unless you die
You cannot live
You cannot become
You cannot go on

For this life
Is but toil
Full of sadness
Full of death

Darkly goes the day
Into eternal night
Not a breath
Not a thought

O, God, why must I die
Death cannot be all there is
Unless you die
You cannot live . . . 

Hockey Puck
The Florida Panthers are in first place. I have had the fun of being able to see each game so far. The team plays well offensively most times. They are consistent defensively. The Panthers have been able to win at home, with injuries, and split road trips. With that combination a run for the Stanley Cup is not out of the question, but it is a long 82-game schedule. I look forward to the rest of the season. Wish I could go see a game or two though.

Claude Lemieux was the MVP when the New Jersey Devils won the Stanley Cup. Then they traded him to Colorado Avalanche. Colorado then won two Stanley Cups, and Claude was the MVP there also. Just recently, the Devils traded to get Claude back on their team. Since arriving, the Devils have improved quite a bit. Some players are destined to be impact performers regardless of the situation.

Minnesota Wild due to play next year proudly displayed their new logo. The logo looks like a wild cat animal with a setting sun on a forest scene superimposed onto the wild cat animal. The logo is quite distinctive and well done. Frankly, it's wild!

Seasons ago the Montreal Canadiens traded Patrick Roy to the Colorado Avalanche. Colorado went on to two Stanley Cups while the Canadiens struggled ever since. Now there are rumors that the goaltender might be on the trading block. My advice is to keep Roy in Colorado. He's the best at his job.

Guest Articles
J. Anita Wilson from Australia provided us a two very nice poems good for children and adults alike.

"Dragonflight"
In this land of eternal snow
Where no trees will ever grow
High up in the mist gray sky
I can see the Dragons fly

Flying through a single cloud
Swooping, turning roundabout
Totally ignoring me
Golden Dragons, flying free

Rushing towards me, coming fast
Then slowing at the very last
Wingtips brushing past my hair
Dragons flying without care.

Watching them with great delight
Marveling at this wondrous sight
I join the Dragons with my mind
Soaring high with all their kind

Minds entwined, reaching heights
Sharing the rapture of their flights
Leaving behind the human me
No longer earthbound...

I am flying free!

“Christmas poem”
Wishing you a Happy Christmas
Says the holly to the child
Venerate the birth of Jesus
Born to Mary, Mother mild

Wishing you a Merry Christmas
Hums the lit-up Christmas tree
Bless the coming of the Savior
He will set us sinners free

Wishing you a Joyful Christmas
Ring the bells across the land
Come and worship at the manger
See the miracle of Gods hand

Wishing you a Holy Christmas
Sing the Angels from above
Celebrate the Prince of Peace
Given to you by Gods love

© 1999 J. Anita Wilson

The Mountains of Ao
Tears from Ao and two poetry collections, Pages of Life and Visions of Life, are available electronically at http://RunesofAo.com/aobp/. The Runes of Ao project, the novel The Mountains of Ao [started chapter 12 of 22,] and a new poetry collection titled Moments of Life are in progress.

The Dull Stuff
The online journal contains extra content. The printed version is limited to three pages to keep printing costs down. Inputs and letters to this journal are subject to approval by Ebony and Abby. Submittals may be edited for content and become the property of:

Shaffer Novels/Poetry Company
Merchant Occupational License #48210-0076151
PO Box 501833
Marathon FL 33050-1833
(305) 743-9648 voice/data/fax

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