 The Shaffer Journal
Volume 3 Issue 3 March 1997
What follows is the March 1997 journal published by my company as written, produced, and managed by the cats. Kitty and Ebony have asked for a raise in their daily allowance of Whiskas. They said they would go on strike. Since I don't have the time to do this monthly journal, I had to give in to their paw and meow union. Lots of good stuff this issue thanks to the cats. Yes, my cats like fan e-mail. They just love attention. Why don't you give it to them? Click on the cat graphic below to visit Kitty's Memorial page. Kitty Talk
 Now I want to talk with all you fellow felines (cats for you human types). Humans don't know that we felines know more than 300 human words. Dumb old dogs barely know 75. That's right, I wouldn't scam you. But humans don't take the time to learn all the thousands of kitty words. Like hungry, out, ouch, I'm mad, feels so good, friends, yuck, ummm, more, what is it, mouse, bird, chicken, whiskas, get it away from me-you moron, I love what you do for me, and so on. Don't you just hate it when silly humans baby talk to you? They hold you so close to their face and breath. I know humans don't like my fish breath. So what makes humans think I like their beef/pizza breath? It makes me want to reach out and paw slap 'em! Yeah! I have my own home page on the Internet. It is Kitty GreyCat's Site of the Month. I get nominations and votes from all over the world. I have met some great tomcats that way. Like Bobby at lisaviolet's cathouse web site. I think I'm in love again even at my advanced age of almost 15 (76 in human type years). Well, I don't want to, but here is that painful, fat-cat kitten, Ebony the geckothing killer! I Ebony like a new thing. Yummy chicken-like creatures with hair brushes for tails. I chase them on the porch, up the palm trees, and watch 'em intently from big window inside human trailer. Ebony like very much to taste one of dem squirrels, which is what human calls 'em. Those squirrel-chickens talk too! But the words they say. Big, fat, bad as bad can be words. What's their beef? I just want to taste 'em little bit! Internet Stuff
Part Three: This NET thing can be and is addicting. Fortunately, I am still working on my second novel, but the rest of my time is spent playing on the NET. I have made friends from Japan, Australia, New Zealand, Texas, Iceland, and all kinds of US states. You notice I put Texas with the countries, because Texans are so full of themselves. These friends of mine write e-mail, which is equivalent to mail. We visit each other's places on the NET. There are so many wonderful places full of music, art, poetry, stories, little videos, and so much more. It is a lot of fun. There are useful places as well. All the computer companies and magazines are online. Almost all of the US Congress is on the NET. I have emailed my Florida senator several times, and he has answered! Exploring the Internet has opened up a whole new world to me. The Net brings me a lot of pure joy. Hockey News
February saw the Tampa Bay Lightning have a very bad first half of the month, while the second half of the month went very well. As a matter of fact, they have put themselves in contention for one of the Stanley Cup playoff spots. Just a few weeks ago they were last in the conference. Now they have the seventh playoff spot out of the eight available. If they continue to play well, they will make the playoffs for the second straight year. Go BOLTS! Beam Me Up, Scotty!
Remember the original Star Trek series? They used flip-open communicators that now resemble cellular telephones. Since I wanted to have a telephone seasonally, a cell phone was the cheapest solution. I have a Motorola cell phone that has my Ohio and Florida numbers in it. While in Ohio I use my Ohio number, and in Florida, my Florida number. I don't miss regular phones, because my cell phone does it all anywhere. I can send and receive faxes on my cell phone via the computer. I can even get on the Internet via my cell phone. The only thing I haven't been able to do is to get Scotty to beam me up to the USS Enterprise! Poetry Corner
This is the very first poem that I wrote which was recorded for posterity. I had many other prior poems, but they are forever lost. I wish now that I had kept them all. "The Northern Star"
October 5, 1971 I watched the northern star
The night is cold and dark
The northern star warms me
This night...finds me at my last Now memories are floating
Nausea grips me
The blood is cold upon me
How I long for home Home, but here I am dying,
Dying here amid this snow storm
On the top of this world,
This utterly strange and foreign place Home... the northern star
Oh, how it warms me so
Home... so far away
I die gazing at the northern star
My home. In the Park
For all you Internet visitors out there who are wondering what all this is about, never fear. I Kitty will make it all very clear. I Kitty, Ebony, human fella, and his son live in Roycroft Travel Trailer Park during the winter months. The park is located two miles from the gulf beaches and in a wonderful little city called Seminole in the sunshine state of Florida. This article is for the residents of Roycroft and specially tailored just for them. Now isn't that as clear as a bell? I know, I Kitty am the cat's meow. Now read on... A lot has happened since the last journal. Everyone has complimented the journal on reporting the needs and opinions of the Roycroft residents. We are surprised that Dave the manager and Marvin Bills the owner no longer want to support the journal. The front office is no longer allowed to pass out the journals. Yet many of you have volunteered to continue the successes of the journal. The rest of this winter the journal will continue to be free. Just because we express our opinions will not shut down the journal to all our wonderful friends in Roycroft. Marvin really believed that you who expressed your opinions were a minority. I can personally report that over 50 individuals from Roycroft have expressed their support for this journal and their dismay at Dave and Marvin. From all of us at the journal to all our friends at Roycroft, a heartfelt THANKS! In all fairness to all concerned, I must report that Marvin, Dave, and Jacque are trying the best they can. You can talk with them. If you want to voice a complaint to them, please do so and make sure they realize you are registering a complaint. We must be direct and polite. Let us all resolve to remain friends and agree to disagree. None of us can afford to take any of this personally. We will be pleased to continue to report the needs and opinions of the Roycroft residents, but from now on we will ask for your names to accompany inputs and letters to this journal. Okay? Shuffleboard tournaments are being played out on the Roycroft courts. The Roycroft News published by the front office has all the social news. I commend the front office on this publication. I don't have opportunity to attend all the social events. So good on the front office. I did get a request to report the February 18th results which crowned Ron Jackstadt, Ernie Kroeze plus Ella Essenburg and Jean Hutchinson champions. Congratulations and good luck in defending your titles. Remember the journal In the Park section is for you in Roycroft. If you have anything to report, please pass it along to Larry Shaffer prior to the beginning of each month. We want to report all the happenings and events at Roycroft, but can't be at all the functions. So we need volunteer reporters to send us reports. We also need volunteer journal deliverers. You know, like paper girls and paper boys. See Larry. The Friends of The Journal at Roycroft meeting went very well. We had 13 to 16 people show up with 5 or 6 not able to come due to prior commitments. I couldn't get an exact count as so many people kept coming and going the two hours we held our meeting. We made our list and saw to it that Marvin and Dave got the list. We have seen the results already. Thanks, Marvin and Dave! To the person going around scaring people about attending the meeting, shame on you. Some people were genuinely disturbed by your tale. By the way, no one attending the meeting has suffered any repercussions, and none of us have been asked to move. How ridiculous of that person! Pets make us healthy, wealthy, and wise. We love them and they love us. All pets must be on leashes in the park. Pets that are allowed to roam will be picked up by animal control. There is a rabies alert in Pinellas County. Pets without ID will be put to sleep. Protect your pets. Leash and ID them. Pam at G20 has a stray kitten that needs a nice, loving home. Please adopt and love! Please don't go the wrong way on a one-way street. Some of us are already confused enough as it is. Also if you could slow down, it will give some of us a chance to live longer. Stopping at the stop signs is a wonderful way to keep from hitting someone or something. Another thing, please everyone help clean up after a fun event in the Rec Hall. Now I Kitty will off my litter box and stop meowing and preaching. The tiger is a lame attempt by the adorable human fella to match a watermark graphic with the month of March. You know, in like a lamb and out like a tiger. Oops, I mean lion. Or is it in like a lion and out like a lamb. These clichés are so hard to keep up with. Let me paw through my manual of articles for this journal. It says I Kitty GreyCat have meowed much too long. Be good, God bless, goodbye! Alright, you Interneters, you don't see the watermark here because I Kitty dunno how to do that. 
April 1st Bill Hamlin, April Fools!;
3rd Gerty Stanlick;
6th Toni Shaffer;
7th Tony Passaretti, Marilyn Steketee;
12th Virgil (Bud) Bowser, Michael Shaffer;
13th Tom Hutchinson, John Harris;
15th Faith Wigand, Leo/Doris Shaffer anniversary;
16th Doug Blevins;
18th Irvin Steketee, Art Sawyer;
20th Calvin Brink;
21st Dave Richardson;
24th Tony/Rhonda Shaffer anniversary;
27th Katie Borgen, Steketee anniversary.
"The Mountains of Ao"
Work on this sequel to the Tears from Ao goes well. I have finished with the good inputs from Steve Lay. Now I am working on Jim Bostock's suggestions. Each of the proofreaders has really helped me with everything from writing mechanics to streamlining the story line. Thank you! The Dull Stuff
Inputs and letters to this journal are subject to approval by Kitty. All inputs may be edited for content and become the property of the Shaffer Novels/Poetry Company. [Previous Journal] [Journal Index] [Next Journal] No dear brothers and sisters, I am still no all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven. [NLT] |
