 The Shaffer Journal
Volume 6 Issue 8 August 2000
[Internet Stuff] [Hockey Puck] [Guest Meows! Cat Chat 1 2 3 4]
[The Mountains of Ao] [Poetry Corner] [The Dull Stuff] [Guest Articles] [In The Keys]
Kitty Talk
These journals are dedicated to Kitty GreyCat's spirit. She is at RainBow Bridge now. We all loved you, Kitty! Click the cat graphic to visit her Memorial page. Kitty born June 6, 1982. Died July 9, 1997.
 This is Ebony, and this month we have meows and pawings about many interesting things use all like for sure. The big thing was the VET VISIT! That was so scary and stuff. There is other frightfully good stuff. Just keep reading, and you will enjoy. I love my collar. It is black with my name on it and even my phone number, but I don’t want any calls from stinky old toms except my Ren! Anymeow, the collar parts that are fastened together are heat sealed not sewn. Well, I was chasing juicy, yummy lizards as always and kerplunk. My collar busted clean off me. I chased that lizard ever which way. Before I knew it, I was at another trailer. I wasn’t scared or nothing. I just hunted under that trailer for more lizards. Then I hear my human bean calling my name. He sounded sad. So I came to him. He grabbed me, hugged me, and took me home. He told me I was losted! I didn’t know I was losted at all. The only bad thing was that I had to stay in all day, while human bean sewed up my busted collar. Bean calling me an escape artist cat. I not know what he mean by that, but it was okay. This is Abby, and I am a white cloud of white furrr! Just thinking about our annual vet visit making me fearfully pitiful. Human bean was sneaking this time. We were outside, and the doors to the big truck thing were open but roaring motor not on. Suddenly, human bean grabbed me and Ebony and stuck us in the truck. We took turns escaping until human bean got us both in. I set up a wailing you never heard this side of Hades before. Ebony and I knew right away it was vet visit time. Yeow! During the short ride there, Ebony was looking out the window enjoying herself, while I panicking enough for five cats. Human bean carried us into the vet office, and my wailing yeows went louder and more pathetic. Even Ebony was impressed. All the human beans came to look at the wailing cat, which was me, you know. Human bean took us inside. Ebony went first. She squeaked when she got a shot, but that was all. I don’t know how she so calm. Then I was squeezed and poked and prodded and pinpricked. When it was all over, I was a lot calmer. We got back in the truck and went to the cool fifth wheel travel trailer. One final meow: I is now nine pounders while Ebony is eleven pounders, which vet say super good for us both! I, Abby, got a complaint for Frank and Roseanne human beans! The mower man with that infernal mower machine scares us cats to death and back again. Me and Ebony eyes get really big, we pant fearfully, we run up and down trailer, we go hide! When mower man finally done and we think we can relax, what comes out of hell but the weed-whacker man! Us cats scatter in all directions at once fur flying. Finally, it quiet on western front. I, Ebony, want to thank Mike and Kelly for new palm tree for me to rest under and catch lizards around. The Christmas tree is in tree heaven, poor thing, meow! This is Abby and computer sounds can be scary especially when human bean messing with my mind. Meow! Internet Stuff
Our friends would like to say: The Temporal Doorway recently passed over 150,000 visits. Our visitors come to enjoy: Come visit and enjoy The Temporal Doorway! Http://www.priceline.com offers all kinds of deals, but the most intriguing is groceries. Down here in the Florida Keys we have Winn Dixie and Publix. Winn Dixie is the store that participates in www.priceline.com. There are savings for sure, but there is a bit of work to put together your list, go shopping, separate the groceries, checkout, and all that. I’m sorry, but I am too lazy for this. Publix still saves me time and money. And the process is so easy and actually fun to do. If you believe the music industry, www.NAPSTER.com is evil incarnate. I believe any copyright infringement is wrong, but then again I think you have to be super careful you don’t abuse potential customers as well. There is a balance here somewhere. Things are hopping at the fantastic help organization called the Federated Alliance of Community Leaders/Cosmic Volunteers [FACL]. You can view their helpful & fun happenings at http://www.geocities.com/Area51/2158/! This used to be the old Area51 Community Leader Program before Yahoo/GeoCities fouled that up. FACL is quite good and better now! In The Keys
Mike and Kelly built more wishing wells in the high sunshine. The cut of brick, tap of the hammer, and artistry at work, all producing wonder and delight. Then they took the old Christmas tree down for fear it would blow over. They replaced it with a lovely palm. Ebony approved most wholeheartedly. After the tree came the red brick along the pathways, an oasis among friends. Monroe County is bloated like a beached whale with apologies to the whale. Each city incorporated to be independent and get their fair share of money, which the county used to keep and use elsewhere. Of course, now the county has much less money for diminishing areas. Still they keep a full staff and keep hiring. Still they want to raise taxes on the unincorporated areas. Still the commissioners seem more interested in their jobs and little niches. Oh, one or two commissioners are trying to get the county to see reason, but reason is not the word of the day. For the county to save itself will take bold strokes. They have to reduce the commissioners to three vice five. They have to incorporate what’s left of the county just to have a chance of survival. They have to stop hiring and let the staff dwindle to a more manageable number. Department and division heads must be eliminated. Departments must consolidate to save money and operate more efficiently. Unneeded and unnecessary resources must be sold off. Finally, the county must be fair. Our truck doctor is Andy & Dave’s Garage. They were happy to change oil, filter, and tires. Our old truck is very happy and totally satisfied. Wagner’s Wash & Wax is going to cleanup and make our fifth wheel travel trailer shiny. Of course, that will happen when it is not raining and when all the employees are available. So far, that has not happened. We are waiting for the proper alignment of Mars with Venus, Pluto, and Uranus. NAPA is gone. Maybe someone knows why, but I don’t. I thought they were doing well too. Aluminum man gets a visit from me every other month or so. I take the money and run to McDonalds for a quarter-pounder value meal! Spiny lobsters were to blame for boats and people and traffic and more boats and people! Guest Meows!
 This is Larry for Ariel. She and her two cats, Harry and Emily, gave us some wonderful Cat Chat articles this month. We are gratified that we can offer this regular article about some wonderful cats and their human bean with visits by a dragon! Please visit the Memorial Page for Ariel's mother. Click the cat wagging its tail graphic to visit their net home. Thank you. Now here is Harry, Chester, and Emily with Cat Chat:
Cat Chat 7-xx-00
Cat Chat 7-xx-00
Cat Chat 7-xx-00
Cat Chat 7-30-00
Adam Ant
Harry: Mom2 hasn’t been feeling furry well and we all has been so busy heping Mom take care of her, and getting alla her stuff outta her old trailer (see, Mom2 hadn’t brought alla her stuffers when she moveded in wid us. Mom and Mom2 have been moving stuffers bit by bit, but they been spending all month getting alla Mom2’s stuffers over here). So anyway, we didn’t even realize that we hadn’t wrote a Cat Chat all month!
Emily: We is sooo embarrassed! But we has bin furry furry busy. Anyways, beans takes vacations in da summertime, right? So, yous all can tink ub dis like our vacation! At least from writing da Cat Chats, dat is. Oh! Mom2 needs us! See alla yous kitties and beans later!
(Harry and Emily rush off) Chester: The cats are right. We have been very busy moving and unpacking things and taking care of Mom2. Plus we’ve had the new kitten to contend with. He’s been quite a handful! Speaking of the kitten, whose name, by the way, is Adam Ant: he has been bugging me to let him have his say in a column. Harry and Emily are totally against this, but since they are busy, I thought I’d give the little fellow a chance.
 Adam: Yous means me gets to writs a clolum all by meselfs?? (jumping up and down) Oh boy oh boy!
Chester: Actually, I will write the column. You just tell me what you want to say.
Adam: OK. Um…what does me say?
Chester: Well…why don’t I ask you questions and you can answer them?
Adam: Ok, me can does dat!
Chester: All right. Well, why don’t you tell us where you came from.
Adam: Me come from da leabes outside. You nose dat!
Chester: I mean before that. You didn’t just appear magically in the leaves under the back steps.
Adam: Me didn’t? What is magically?
Chester: I mean, you once had a kitty mom, and probably brothers and sisters, but none of them are anywhere around here. So, how did you get to this house?
Adam: Me has a Mommy. An she be a furry big kitty! She tooked me up from da leabes an tooked care ub me, an we pways alla time, an me sweeps wid her. She is a good kitty Mommy, she is.
Chester: You’re talking about Mom. Mom isn’t a kitty. She is a human being.
Adam: What’s a hooman bean? Mommy is Mommy. Ub course she be a kitty. Eberybody be a kitty!
Chester: That’s not true. I’m a dragon. And Mom and Mom2 are human beings. Human beings are people that kitties and dragons own. Kitties don’t get as big as Mom and Mom2. They are a completely different species.
Adam: You are? A dragon? What’s a dragon? What’s a spishies? Me don’t unnerstan yous atall. Mommy is Mommy. Dare ben’t any oder Mommy, cepten if yous means Mommy2, who is ub course a kitty, but more like Emily dan like Mommy. Emily growls at me alla time, but she pway wid me too. Mommy2 pway wid me too, but sometime she spray nasty water in my face. Me doesn’t unnerstan dat, cause after all me is jus tryin to hep her eat her food, like me does wid Harry and Emily.
Chester: (sighing) OK, let’s try this again. Before Mom found you in the leaves under the back steps you had another Mom, who was a cat. Somehow you got separated from her. Do you remember how?
Adam: Anoder Mommy? Is yous sure bout dat? Me doesn’t tink me member nothin like dat.
Chester: You don’t remember anything about living with other cats and somehow coming here and lying in the leaves?
Adam: Um….(thinking very hard). I tinks I member bein curled up wid lots of warm fuzzies. An me members a smell, soft an fuzzy an warm. Like Harry and Emily smell. Not like Mommy smell, or Mommy2 eider. Or yous eider, eider!
Chester: That’s because we’re not cats! So, you remember being with your cat mom? Then what happened?
Adam: Me guess me sorta members dat. Da smell an da fuzzy an da warm. An den, an den…it seem like sometin big tooked us up, and put us in sometin bigger eben, and we went real fast an me were sceered. An den it seem like me member bein in wet stuff dat didn’t smell warm an fuzzy atall! An, but den, me smelled dat warm an fuzzy smell. An it were long an long fur aways, but me smelleded it, so me crawled to where me smelled da warm an fuzzy. It weren’t da same warm an fuzzy, tho. It were differnt. An den me crawleded an crawleded trew all deese wet stuffers, an found da warm fuzzy smell. Dar was kitties dar, fur sure. But day wasn’t da warm fuzzies like me nosed. An me were sceered, an curleded up in deese leabes. An den dar were dis loud noise ober me head, an me saw sometin big. An da warm fuzzy smellin tings came an was eatin, an den me heard anoder noise an sometin big pickeded me up an it were warm an it tookeded me into da warm place what I nose now be our house, an it gibed me sometin to eat and made soft sounds an petted me an dat were Mommy. So! Dat be how me was gotten here, me meow!
Chester: Poor thing! It sounds like some mean human dumped you out on the road! You were very lucky to find your way down to our house. But that was very good, that you could remember. See, you did have a cat mommy. And you see the difference now between your cat mommy and Mom?
Adam: Yah, Mommy is bigger and smells differnt and isn’t as fuzzy. But she’s gots to be a cat! She jus a differnt kinda cat. Like yous be a different kinda cat. Eberyone be a cat!
Chester: (sighing) Whatever. How do you like living here?
Adam: What does yous mean? Where else would me lib? Dis be me house!
Chester: Um…your house?
Adam: Ub course! I be king ub da house. Like, yous was saying dat bout Mommy being someone dat kitties an dragons owns? Like yous meant you and Harry and Emily owns Mommy? Now, me nose dat isn’t true, cause Mommy be my Mommy an no one else’s!
Chester: I think Harry and Emily would disagree with that. In fact, I don’t agree either. We all own Mom and Mom2.
Adam: Silly dragon cat! Me Adam own eberytin! Me is da kitten, an dat mean eberytin and eberyone in da house be mine. Da counters be mine an da beds be mine an da toys be mine an da couches be mine an ebery ebery tin be mine. All mine! Teehee!
Chester: My, you are full of yourself, aren’t you?
Adam: Full ub meself? Me gets full wid yummy food, but me doesn’t tink I neber gots full ub me!
Chester: (snickering behind his claw) You mean that you own Emily and Harry too?
Adam: Ub course! Day be jus here to pway wid. Course, sometime day hisspit and swat me and bowls me ober an ober, but dat’s cause day doesn’t unnerstan dat me is in charge round here yet. Day will figger it out, me meow!
Chester: I rather doubt that. Adam, haven’t you noticed that you’re smaller than everyone here?
Adam: Ub course me notice dat! Dat’s so as me can go into alla places all ober da house like eberyone else can’t! Cept me can’t goes outside da glass door. Me can get out dar, an me hab, too! Teehee! But Mommy, she alays comes an grabs me an makes me come in. Emily gets to go out. Why don’t me get to go out?
Chester: Mom just wants to keep you safe.
Adam: Humph! Me is a big bad kitty! Me can take care ub meselfs.
(Harry and Emily come in) Emily: Hey! What’s going on? Chester! How could you let that monster write our column!
Harry: What’s this? He thinks everything is his?? Hey, you little monster, I run things around here!
Emily: And yous sure don’t owns me! Hissspiiitt! Meerroooww!!! (smack)
Adam: Teehee! Emily wants to pway! (bouncing off)
Chester: He’ll never learn! (shaking his head)
Cat Chat is © 1999 - 2008, 2009 Ariel, Emily, Harry, and Chester the Dragon. All rights reserved worldwide. This column may not be reprinted in part or whole without express permission of Ariel. Poetry Corner
“Only the Living” 8.2.00
by L. E. Shaffer © 2000 L. E. Shaffer It is our dark natures
That call to us
Beckon hopelessly
As we wander thru life
There is good
In us all
Along with the bad
Nothing without the other
It isn’t a color
Or a thought
But an action
Intended or not
Something we fear
Something hopeful
Something we don’t desire
Wanton lust
Only the living matters
To us now
Sometime soon
Even that won’t matter
Something more important
Will certainly come
To us then
In the dim sunshine
Shadows stretching
Long and dark
Only the living matters
Among the littered dead © 2000 L. E. Shaffer Hockey Puck
Tiger Woods! What more can you say? He won the grand slam of golf faster than anyone ever. At the British Open at St. Andrew’s in Scotland, the birthplace of golf, he easily took the lead and widened it each day. He won handily on a most difficult course. Tiger was a gracious and true champion. I used to find golf boring, but this guy has kindle an interest in the sport that is phenomenal. He entices children to try for their dreams, to reach for more than they think they can have. The NFL seems wilted a bit. Dan Marino is no longer playing. A comedian announces for Monday Night Football. And what is with this early start in July? Baseball and the NBA conducted huge trades and money sloshes around. Baseball is a yawn so far. I certainly hope the playoffs and the series grabs some interest. Otherwise, there will be a hole while waiting for the NHL. Yes, all we are really doing is marking time till the first preseason game of hockey. Did you hear that Eric Lindros dumped the Flyers? Good thing too, because the Flyers had already given up on Eric. Where is loyalty? Not in Philadelphia it seems. Sorry, Eric. NASCAR continues to thrill & please, of course! Guest Articles
Anita Wilson sent us two great dragon poems.
Dragons racing
in the sky
swooping down
to pass us by
golden wings
brightly glowing
going with the wind
that's blowing
Faster, faster!
Past the sun
Racing solar flares
for fun
Faster than
the speed of light
glorious movement
glittering bright… © 2000 Anita Wilson Gold Winged Dragons
in high sun flying
great vast shadows
vainly trying
to catch the sunbeams
golden glowing
matching the wings
their movement flowing
with the currents
of the high clear sky
I watch in wonder...
as they race by © Copyright 2000 Anita Wilson, Australia The Mountains of Ao
Tears from Ao and two poetry collections, Pages of Life and Visions of Life, are available electronically at http://RunesofAo.com/aobp/. The Runes of Ao project, The Mountains of Ao novel currently on chapter 13 of 22, and the Moments of Life poetry collection are all works in progress. Also a collaboration with K. Young on a novella called Dragon Embers continues with future publication on the webzine called The Outer Rim. The Dull Stuff
The online journal contains extra content. This edition is the last one to have a print version. The print version now costs more to produce and distribute. Therefore, we are now just distributing via the Internet. Inputs and letters to this journal are subject to approval by Ebony and Abby. Submittals may be edited for content and become the property of:
Shaffer Novels/Poetry Company
Merchant Occupational License #48210-0076151
PO Box 501833
Marathon FL 33050-1833
(305) 743-9648 voice/data/fax
Internet URLs: http://RunesofAo.com
http://RunesofAo.com/aobp/
http://RunesofAo.com/ebony/
http://RunesofAo.com/abby/
Publication date: July 30, 2000
Author: L. E. Shaffer
Company: Shaffer Novels/Poetry Company &
Shaffer Internet Publishing Company
© 1995 - 2008, 2009 L. E. SHAFFER
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED WORLDWIDE
PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
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Email Reminder" in the subject line. [Previous Journal] [Journal Index] [Next Journal] While Jesus was teaching in the Temple, he called out, "Yes, you know me, and you know where I come from. But I represent one you don't know, and he is true. I know him because I have come from him, and he sent me to you." [NLT]
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