What follows is the May 1997 journal published by our company as written, produced, and managed by the cats. Kitty and Ebony have asked for more catnip from any source. They said they would go on strike, if they don't get some soon. Someone help us! The cats do the entire journal and have a viable meow and paw union. Great opportunities for all cats with writing and pawing experience. Lots of good stuff this issue thanks to the cats. Yes, the cats like fan email. They just love attention. Why don't you give it to them? Kitty GreyCat and Ebony BlackCat want to thank all the Internet friends for visiting their pages on the human bean's web site. Cats are not normally that friendly with strangers, but all the email has been very cat friendly. Even some cats have sent e-mail. Isn't that cute, amazing, and just plain nice? The area on our home page that belongs to the cats is the busiest and most popular. Thanks, meow, paws, and purrrrrrrrrr to you all! Enjoy this special Internet issue! Click on cat graphic to visit Kitty's Memorial page.
Kitty Talk
We have an internet friend named lisaviolet, and she is very, very nice to us cats. She sent us a whole bag of catnip that look liked mary jane. I never let something like nice fresh catnip affect me. I am a grownup, great grandma cat. I smelled it politely and that is all really! You must believe me! Fresh catnip was not found on me!
But Ebony got into the human bean's briefcase and got the whole bag out. She had the human bean's stuff drug out everywhere. She had chewed a hole in the bag and imbibed almost all of the catnip, the glutton!
I Ebony never had catnip before. It smell and taste really good. But I didn't do what Kitty say I do. Kitty is the one rolling around in the catnip and eating it like you wouldn't believe. Now that I am a teenage kitty I don't do stuff like that. Kitty did it! She did! I bet some big tomcat made her do it. I can resist charms of toms and even eating fresh, yummy catnip!
Us cats are having more adventures on lisaviolet and dorissimo's bull board! We don't know what a bull board is, but posting is great fun. Meow, we don't know what posting is either. Does it hurt much? We do meet cats, tomcats (yowsa!), cat human beans, and regular NET creatures. Whatever they may be. Anyway, Doris said we could do it. We are having loads of furry fun. While we are pawing around and getting lots of purring in, we be learning more on our catputer. We do practically everything, while the human bean lay in the sun. Well, we lay in the sun with him. We are so talented that we can catnap most of the day, eat a load of catnip (whoa, baby!), and still do all this NET stuff. Okay, we are through bragging now...
Internet Stuff
My web site has had more than 2300 visitors and, and my home page continues growing. Our web page awards three different and distinct awards for interesting and entertaining web sites. We have received eight individual awards for our own web site. Wow!
Circle of Friends WebRing is an association of like-minded home pages. It has and continues to be a great success. Shay, a friend, Aileen and Chrissy, and all the friends we don't have room to mention have made our little webring the fastest growing and the most popular webring on the web!
We have won more awards and that makes us so sassy, you know! But it is so much more fun to give out one or more of our three awards. Human beans get so soft and mushy, when they get nice awards. Us cats give out much better awards than our human bean. His award is like a dog with fleas. You don't mind getting them, but you wonder why you are doing all that scratching. Meow, purr, giggle... This is the Maniac, and I am going to take over this catputer... I mean computer. These cats have taken over everything. What I need is a dog in here to straighten things out! Us cats disagree strongly. NO DOGS! Woof woof BIG DOGGIE!
Hockey News
The Tampa Bay Lightning were in contention for a Stanley Cup playoff spot right up until the last game. Then they lost that game and that was it for the season. There is always next season. In the meantime, there is the excitement of the Stanley Cup playoffs leading up to the Stanley Cup finals. So far New York Rangers, Philadelphia Flyers, Colorado Avalanche, and the Detroit Redwings have survived the final playoff cut. These series will be hot! Can't wait until the puck drops!
Last, but not least, is the amazing performance of Wayne Gretzky. Remember he was the player everyone said had stayed in the game way too long. Not only was he in the top five scoring in the NHL, but he has lit up two teams in the playoff with his play making, assists, and scoring. Hey, he even played some defense. Now that is a big surprise. Can't wait to see what the Great One will do next! Yeah!
The conference finals are on and the human bean is in seventh heaven. The poor creature only knows about seventh heaven. So sad. Us cats have tenth heaven. You know, after nine lives, there is cat tenth heaven. Hockey is for poor human beans. Can you imagine watching a black, round insect being knocked on ice-cube surface by a bunch of human beans wearing poorly stuff shorts? Being cat naked with furry furrry is so much better. Better game is chasing a mouse, tenderizing it by banging its head on the sidewalk, and... This is the Maniac again, and that part is rated G, for very gory...
Cat Adventures
You know cats are great smellers. Actually, they are much better than dogs. But cats aren't interested in smelling out drugs, bombs, or chasing down runaway criminals. Of course, cats are full of dangerous curiosity.
Kitty is always trying to sneak a smell at various parts of Ebony. Ebony allows this curiosity for a few seconds before jumping on Kitty. Kitty sometimes gets in a few motherly licks, before she realizes what she is doing and growls at Ebony and paws at her. Ebony, on the other hand, just loves to smell Kitty's ears! She usually can't get close enough to smell very long before getting whacked by an angry paw. Even a great grandma kitty can knock the stuffing out of you. Lately though, Ebony has discovered that while Kitty is taking a long drink of water is the perfect time to smell old cat ears. Kitty makes her ears as small as possible and puts up with this to get a drink of water. After that they touch noses, and then Kitty and Ebony run in opposite directions. They don't want anyone to know that they love each other, heaven forbid!
Us cats deny that the above ever happened. The human bean been in the direct path of the air conditioning too long. We smell the tub of butter opened a mile away. We do that. We can smell a can of Whiskas being opened from the next state. We surely can do that! But smelling cat ears or giving younger cats a bath is NOT something us cats do. The human bean will NOT be allowed to write editorials on us cats again. So there, Maniac!
Poetry Corner
I have had a request for a poem about ghosts or spirits. So here is one from Kalian mysticism. Enjoy:
"Ghostly Spirit"
May 12, 1997
Mist pools lazily on the floor
Dark tremors begin
A cool wind comes through
Blue tendrils crawl the wall
Darkness swallows dim light
Soundless screams fill the mind
Then the glow of blue struggles
Under the closed door
Dreaming visions swimming
The long climb into reality
Bloodless calls from eternity
And the dim embers of blue glows
The fog grows deeply
Sound increasing eerily
Something stirs, eyes flutter
The cold deeply grows
Energy seeps out and in
The dark replaced from within
The twins from the dark star
Ancient, long before time
Ghostly spirit awakening
In the minds of the Many
Fallen prey to unreal fear
Ghostly spirit knowing
Suddenly a burst of blue
Blinding, pure, sweeps
Through the empty room
The halls of ghostly spirit...
In the Park
We have decided to stay this summer at the Park. I say we, because I am including the cats, you know. It is surprising how few of us there are. Everyone is just as friendly. Even the dogs are friendly. None of the dogs have scared the cats, Kitty or Ebony. Thanks to Dave for trimming the tree. Thanks for Jerry for removing that huge pile of leaves that I wasn't supposed to rake up. But we all do things we aren't supposed to do. The doctors will just have to keep telling me what I am not supposed to do. Thanks to VA Hospital for giving me an outpatient appointment. Now I don't have to drive to McDill Air Force Base. Finally, thanks for the heat and the sun!
The City of Seminole has been busy putting up two overpasses on the Pinellas Trail over two busy streets. The city has repaved Seminole Boulevard and is installing new traffic lights and street signs. Pinellas County is spending millions to replenish the beaches with fresh sand. Now where are they going to get white sand? North Reddington Beach is still parking free and a very nice park with facilities right on the beach. And soon the Tampa Bay Devil Rays will brighten our summers in St. Petersburg. Just imagine major league baseball right near us here in Seminole. The future is certainly bright. Bye now.
Us cats like Roycroft Travel Trailer Park too. Well, except for the cats that are allowed to roam free. Also the stray cats. One stray cat got into a fight with Ebony. Poor Ebony chased the other cat off, but was wounded in her ear. Two bites! She was brave, but asked me, Kitty, to always be outside with her on the twelve-foot leashes we use. Those leashes are light and that way we aren't poor strays, but enlightened cats who still enjoy the outdoors. All pet cats should be indoor only cats.
June 3rd Al Drozda
6th Jacque Herbertson, Tony Shaffer, Kitty GreyCat
8th Mike Annis
11th Irene West
21st Katie Norton
23rd Rusty Ferguson
24th June Roberts, Eda Gehrt, Claude Froman, Art/Jana Sawyer anniversary, Tim Sawyer
27th Steve Hawkins, Jack Wildschut, Lisa Kilcoin
29th Gene Roberts, Ken Edwards.
"The Mountains of Ao"
I haven't had a chance to do a thing! I went to Virginia to visit my parents and to Ohio to visit my brother and his family. While at my brother's place, Kitty had an accident. She saw the open patio door, which opens to a ten-foot drop to the ground, and thought that she could jump to the near bank. She forgot she was wearing her leash. She jumped straight out, the leash snapped tight, Kitty swung down and hit the side of the wall. We looked down at a pitiful site with Kitty looking up and unhurt as she swung slowly in the wind with paws pointing toward the ground. My brother hauled her up, and fortunately she was safe, sound, and lucky!
I Kitty have NO comment, but it was scary... Now here is the Maniac back.
I came back to Florida with more than 300+ email to answer, tons of Internet work, and a computer consultant job waiting for me. I am still working on the pile of things to do. Soon, though, I hope to get back on track with chapter nine of The Mountains of Ao. Let's hope so anyway!
I Ebony will NOT lick any stamps! Stamps human bean using already has stickie on it. Why that would be awful to have a stickie stamp stuck on my tongue. Furry, furry yucky! And I won't either paw no envelopes. You ever hear of paper cuts? That human bean we live with is kooky...
The Dull Stuff
Inputs and letters to this journal are subject to approval by Kitty. All inputs may be edited for content and become the property of the Shaffer Novels/Poetry Co.
